All About Autism

[2ppaamm]

If we were more fortunate with schools, I should still be ferrying him around between therapies, special needs school and classes to ensure he picked up the essential skills to survive this world. Like most mums with special needs children, I was less worried about his academic success, more worried about his ability to keep friends and a job. I wanted him to have a future like every normal child.


I did what the experts told me to: brought him for Occupational Therapies, Behavioral Therapies, Sound Therapies, School-ready classes and counseling sessions, once or twice a week each. During intensive periods, everyday. These were expensive, there was no subsidy from anyone, and we were always rushing from session to session without much thought.

One day, I decided to just drop everything and stop. After more than two years of therapies, my special needs son had not improved but regressed and nobody could reach out to his heart or mind to understand him. He would cave into his own world and none of us knew his thoughts.

Even the therapists were giving up. Nothing (except one sound therapy) was working, and he was on the verge of depression from trying so hard to please people, meet their expectations, yet failing all the time.

It was amazing how autism and the rituals of a family with an autistic child could rob me of my son. For the last few years, I had spent time screaming at him whenever his teachers complained about him: his shoes hitting the ceiling fan (endangering other children) when he swung his legs, him sleeping during assemblies, and him complaining that music classes were useless since most of his classmates had music lessons at home.

Instead of picking on his inadequacies and inabilities, I decided to focus on his strengths. Since everything had failed to make him behave the way they wanted him to, the schools decided not to tolerate his unending questions and explorations, they wanted him out. I decided to take him out of the agony he was in, and filled his life with his own passion: books and more books, programming and math.

I had forgotten to enjoy him as a child: his love for reading and telling me his studies of psychology, the wonders of the consternation, his version of evolution and business management styles. I did not have time for his weird programming style and simple mathematical methods.

I was busy, and forgot he told me (intuitively) how the rain was formed and the water cycle when he was just one year old, and I forgot that he read at three through reading Captain Underpants. Most importantly, I forgot he is a child like others, with gifts and talents. Instead, I treated him like an object with imperfections I needed to deal with.

Instead of begging for support, I dropped all therapies and worked with educators who wanted to work with him to bring out the best in him.

Even after two years off therapies, I still wonder if I had done right with respect to his social growth. He was in his High School VP office yesterday, and as he discussed next semester’s university and high school plans with the VP, I marveled at his confidence: he could make himself clear respectfully. He knew his limits with his work load and asked for appropriate support. Maybe it is normal for other 13-year-olds, but for mine, it is a miracle.

I realized that since we got into his world and allowed his gifts to prosper, his confidence grew and he was more willing to get into ours. So he decided to learn the social rules instead of challenging them. I also methodically taught him how to bring his different points of views up in appropriate ways, instead of telling him his thoughts were all wrong.

I am still unsure which psychologist is right, whether my son is autistic or not, but does it matter? I would have brought him up exactly the same way. Through the years, I have come to understand that learning disabilities are real and they do impair children, but more tragic than learning disabilities is the loss of the children’s passion and childhood.
Complementing Special Needs School And Therapies

I am sure the folks at the Special Needs school are well-meaning, and they have probably put up the best programs for our special needs children. I am also sure these programs are effective as well.

Yet as parents, we should do more than just sending our autistic children to therapies. We should do something even more important that only we can do: to look into our children’s other needs and passion, then help them find themselves. We should not believe when any expert or educator claim that they know our children’s learning styles and passion better than us.

And, no matter how deficient we think our children are, high functioning or low functioning, we should never, ever believe that they have no unique gift. It is our job to look deeper.

The journey is tiresome, and our job as a parent is the same no matter what kind of kid we are given: we are to bring the best out of them.

[Nebbermind]

:thankyou: for sharing, 2ppaamm! :udawoman:

[2ppaamm]

Nebbermind:

:thankyou: for sharing, 2ppaamm! :udawoman:

Wah, paiseh... Thanks and most welcomed!

[One Voice]

ASD Mother's support Group at OTDC


We have a mother's support group for moms with children with Autism and SN that meets every 1st and 3rd Tue of the month during lunchtime. Call 62525200 for details.
SOCIAL THiNKING And SKILLS June Holiday Program for children with ASD & SN

We also have many request from parents to organise a social skills group this june holiday - last week 26-29 June , 3 days, 2 hours, $290 early bird registration before 12 June.

10am-12pm session - Preschoolers
2-4pm - Lower Primary Children

Therapist : Jocelyn Sulit, OTRP and ABA Behavioural Therapist
Trained in Hong Kong in Social Thinking, Brain Gym, Integrated Play Group. etc

To register, contact [email protected], tel 62525200
179A Thomson Road, Goldhill Center (Novena MRT)
http://www.olive-tree.sg

[sharonkhoo]

2ppaamm:

I realized that since we got into his world and allowed his gifts to prosper, his confidence grew and he was more willing to get into ours. So he decided to learn the social rules instead of challenging them. I also methodically taught him how to bring his different points of views up in appropriate ways, instead of telling him his thoughts were all wrong.


I am still unsure which psychologist is right, whether my son is autistic or not, but does it matter? I would have brought him up exactly the same way. Through the years, I have come to understand that learning disabilities are real and they do impair children, but more tragic than learning disabilities is the loss of the children's passion and childhood.

I agree with this too - that's my experience with my 16yo daughter. Around 6yo or so, we accepted what we had suspected for a long time, that there was something different about the way she saw the world and dealt with it. We also don't try to change her basic nature; what we do is to help her make sense of the 'normal' people around her and help her learn to interact with them. In academic matters, we try to tread a middle path where we enforce a reasonable amount of effort to try to make the standards required for her to move on to the next level of education. She's not very academically inclined, so that can be a struggle, and we try not to push her beyond her limit. Our aim is that she find her niche eventually, doing what she enjoys, and interacting with the people around her as much as she is comfortable.

[einnoc]

My 3.5yr old ds has been pre-assess by KkH doc with mild autism. Queuing for further KkH testing in aug. very worried n been crying since. I lost my dh one year ago n my beloved dog 2 months ago. Ds has been coughing since last year oct n has frequent nose bleed. i been to many pds, chinese sinsehs n even did xray n nose scope! all cleared except he has rhinosinustitis. His persistent cough is still ard. he just nose bleed a lot again. My life seems to be a total wreck n no matter how I pick up myself, I met with more hurdles. Other than waiting for KkH, what can I do?

[2ppaamm]

einnoc:

My 3.5yr old ds has been pre-assess by KkH doc with mild autism. Queuing for further KkH testing in aug. very worried n been crying since. I lost my dh one year ago n my beloved dog 2 months ago. Ds has been coughing since last year oct n has frequent nose bleed. i been to many pds, chinese sinsehs n even did xray n nose scope! all cleared except he has rhinosinustitis. His persistent cough is still ard. he just nose bleed a lot again. My life seems to be a total wreck n no matter how I pick up myself, I met with more hurdles. Other than waiting for KkH, what can I do?

Firstly, it is upsetting to have a son diagnosed with autism, but it can be a blessing. Secondly, tomorrow will be better - promise.

Break the problems into smaller pieces and handle one at a time. Nose bleed is worrisome and I'd bring the child to see whatever doctors necessary to ensure he is fine. And if you have done everything, then that's it! Wait for him to grow out of it. My son used to have to same problem, and I was told by a doc that it was because he was growing too fast and true enough when he grew up, that problem went away. Not sure if your DS's case is the same, but be optimistic yet ready to handle for anything. If it is just inflammation of sinuses, then handle it as it is and don't imagine it to be anything else unless told so.

Persistent cough is what many of our parents call 100-day cough. Get a doc to prescribe a medication and then keep believing he will get well and he will.

There's nothing you can do except to keep calm, pray and believe things will get better. Then, come to KSP (though I am not here often but others will be) and there are so many parents who will be willing to listen and help.

Smile, and celebrate every small victory.

[Gifts from Heaven]

einnoc:

My 3.5yr old ds has been pre-assess by KkH doc with mild autism. Queuing for further KkH testing in aug. very worried n been crying since. I lost my dh one year ago n my beloved dog 2 months ago. Ds has been coughing since last year oct n has frequent nose bleed. i been to many pds, chinese sinsehs n even did xray n nose scope! all cleared except he has rhinosinustitis. His persistent cough is still ard. he just nose bleed a lot again. My life seems to be a total wreck n no matter how I pick up myself, I met with more hurdles. Other than waiting for KkH, what can I do?

Hugs to you.
Must think positive. Crying is ok, but after that, must be strong for your boy. If you fall, what will happen to him? Be careful not to fall into depression.

Re his mild autism, early intervention is impt. Your boy is still young, go for the necessary therapies and give him space and time to grow. Manage your own expectations. Besides waiting for KKH, u can start to read up on Autism and source for the therapies required. If speech is his weakness and is also your concern, start to look for speech therapy...if it is social skills, then look for social skills training classes, etc. There are private therapy centres out there that can provide the necessary intervention. Fees may be high, so focus on the area that most concern you first since that is probably also his worst area. Spread out the therapy sessions. With a therapist helping you, you will have someone to talk to abt your boy's issues and that helps to relieve some of your 'stress'. I know it helps me . I always bring my problems with my boy to his therapist and she will listen and sometimes provide me some suggestions to try, else she will try to tailor her teaching to address my concerns. Also can talk to the mummies here....they may have experience it, so can give you suggestion how to tackle .

Re his persistent cough n nose bleeds, is it 'cos of his sinus problem? Is he having post nasal drip? If it is post nasal drip, then solve the drip problem and the cough will be gone. My boy has sinus problem too so the insides of his nose is always swollen and clogged with mucus. The moment he rubs his nose hard or picks it, it will bleed. Sometimes, he has nose bleed every day. His PD prescibe Singulair for him. Another expensive drug. I try to clear his nose every night before he sleeps to get rid of his mucus and have to remember to cut his nails short. Also keep his beddings and sleep area as clean as possible. If his nasal congestions gets too bad, I will just give him Zyrtec.

Hope these will help.

[ImMeeMee]

einnoc:

My 3.5yr old ds has been pre-assess by KkH doc with mild autism. Queuing for further KkH testing in aug. very worried n been crying since. I lost my dh one year ago n my beloved dog 2 months ago. Ds has been coughing since last year oct n has frequent nose bleed. i been to many pds, chinese sinsehs n even did xray n nose scope! all cleared except he has rhinosinustitis. His persistent cough is still ard. he just nose bleed a lot again. My life seems to be a total wreck n no matter how I pick up myself, I met with more hurdles. Other than waiting for KkH, what can I do?

einnoc

If I may, first things first would be for you to have a support system for yourself.

It is quite an emotional turmoil to lose close family members, and be faced with multiple problems with your loved ones. So please ensure that you take good care of yourself, and the rest will come slowly along the way.

My doter was 3 yo when she was diagnosed to be ASD. Back then, she was deemed moderate to severe as she was non-verbal. We put her on early intervention program that included EIPIC school, speech and language therapy, occupational therapy. Now she is 6 yo and verbal, and her latest psy report recommends that she accesses the mainstream primary school curriculum based on her cognitive abilities.

Do take heart that with early intervention, the children will improve. It takes time, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Dont give up, and hang on tight. When you hit rock bottom, the only way is up.

:hugs:

[nugget]

DesertWind:

nugget:

Mummies who kids are already in Mainstream Primary school.


Can I ask:
1. Do you approach the AED before you enroll your kids into that school Or after you enroll then you approach the AED? Or do we wait for AED to contact us after enrollment?

2. Do we need to submit all the psy report and IQ test upon enrollment of the school?

Thanks so much.

Hi nugget,

My boy going P1 next year and I just attended a talk organized by the KKH-CDC and the Q&A touched on these two questions.

The advise given by the panel of advisers were:

1. Contact the AED only after the child got assigned to the school. The recommended timing would be around Sep/Oct to prep. the kid for P1 by bringing the kid to the school to orientate him and be familiarize with the environment. It is also the time to start communicating with the schools about the learning support necessary for the child.

Of course parents can contact the school about AED support BEFORE the actual enrolment but that would be more to find out if the school is supportive and whether it would be the right school for us to choose for the child.

2. At the P1 registration, no need to submit such reports. We were told the P1 registration process is very strictly adhered to and schools do not have the right to deviate from it. The school has no right to reject special needs kids hence the child will not be disadvantaged in this way. If the child could not get into the school of choice, it would purely be because of chance that occurred during the balloting process.

However, such docs. will be needed in order to obtain AED support or chinese deferment.

That's what I gather from the talk!

Thanks for the sharing! :goodpost: