Extra Marital Affair
-
buds:
buds, i cringed at the words in bold above.
Yes. Religion can also play a part in an honest relationship,
if one does believe in the higher being..
Being spiritually bound as a family is stronger in a way.
It also helps restrain the need for the urge of developing
a secret life to the one that he already happily owns...
the girl who declared her feelings for my husband is a Cell-leader of her spiritual group. i knew where she worked and knew where she prayed and knew where she blogged; if it had been more than a cup of coffee, Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. :torchme: -
buds:
Here's an article to show how men like 3boys fast growing extinct as the other side fast rising.... :lol: conversely proportional...
I have whole-heartedly agreed with you on that thread the first time..
and here i affirm that agreement once again here. I do honestly think
that you are one of the few exceptions of man who are fast growing
extinct.
http://www.divaasia.com/article/6989 -
Funz:
and fan your hubby's male ego :celebrate:A close male friend once told me. There were times when he wished his wife can be more like me. But he also knew that if I were to be his wife, he will feel very insecure. Asked him why insecure. He said he will feel very unneeded cos I can handle everything on my own. Earn as much as hubby, can handle the kids on my own, can even be a general repairman fixing leaky sinks, faulty bulbs, etc. He won't be surprised if he sees me changing the tyres of my car myself. Told him no lah, for that I will call AA.
He told me acting a little helpless sometimes will not kill me. He said that as much as most men like the fact that an independant woman means lesser stress for them on the monetary front, they still like to feel that their women need them to look after them. Told him have what, I need DH whenever I see a cockroach, need him to kill it and dispose of it. Too bad, DH himself oso scared of cockroach so he gladly pass the role to our helper. Hahah.
Anyways I got the gist of what he was trying to tell me and started to let DH handle some of the stuff instead of the past 'handle everything myself mode'. I still don't know how to 'teh', simply not in me at all. But these days, when a bulb blows, DH will be changing the bulb while I am his 1 person 'la la dui'. :love: -
jedamum:
I will cringe too when i see the few tt can be quite the extreme.
buds, i cringed at the words in bold above.buds:
Yes. Religion can also play a part in an honest relationship,
if one does believe in the higher being..
Being spiritually bound as a family is stronger in a way.
It also helps restrain the need for the urge of developing
a secret life to the one that he already happily owns...
the girl who declared her feelings for my husband is a Cell-leader of her spiritual group. i knew where she worked and knew where she prayed and knew where she blogged; if it had been more than a cup of coffee, Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. :torchme:
In fact i have encountered one too extreme.. and she really
did portray being quite the : i can be the perfect one for ya..
sent from the heavens for ya.. i was led to you.. cos good
women were meant for good men like you. Cring-ing more?
I was making reference more to those already as a couple...
as a family. Not 3rd party kinda interference to an already
blissful couple / family.
Religion... any one of the many... only encourages good things,
good teachings, good values and never the bad. It is man, who
can sway religion and make it seem otherwise. Then again, this
applies to those who believe in it or in one... Not imposing this
aspect to those who don't or may not believe in it.. That said,
even those who are religious may not always be the good
either..jedamum:
You couldn't have said it better.Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
When i'm scorned, i turn into Ms Hyde.
Ms Jekyll would run for her life... and hide. -
ks2me:
Aiyoh, I wouldn't cast myself as a an exception lah, asking for trouble.....
I would think 3boys is more of the exception than the norm...Funz:
actually this brings to mind a topic that was on discussion last week on Class 95 morning show. It was about men straying. And during the show, thousands of smses poured in, and these from regular men. There were comments like it is nature, men are built this way. Or my wife could not satisfy me so I look elsewhere, it is a physical need, blah blah blah. One even gave an analogy of being able to afford 2 cars one for weekday and one for weekend so why not.
The multitude of justifications for their straying that poured in were just mind boggling and I cannot help but wonder if most men think that way.
And I believe this is happening because of diminishing emphasis and quality on value education with the hectic lifestyle. In fact I read recently in a ST article, singles these days even consider the idea of having f-buddies, why bother to engage in a relationship? :faint:
I take a pragmatic approach. Men and women are wired differently, how can they not be? Biologically, they have different balances of hormones from in-utero stage, they have different sex organs, they mature at different times.
Men therefore have a different sex drive from women. This is not a rationalisation nor an excuse for mis-behaviours, it is merely a statement of incontrovertible biological fact. For many decades, the feminist movement tried to prove that men and women were the same, and the only differences were in the upbringing. Thankfully that has been put to bed.
Therefore, recognising the situation, should one not take preventative action. As parents, we know the different characteritics of our children, their strengths, weaknesses, likes and dislikes. We tailor our parenting to suit them.
YET, when it comes to our spouses, we expect them to be like us. I.e., husbands who expect their wives to think like them and wives who expect their husbands not to have vulnerabilities. When it all comes crashing down, and the tears flow, then we ask \"Why why why?\"
Why? The answer had been there all along, we had just been too blind to see it. Take care of each other first! That person you romanced, fell in love with, your lover and friend. Men and women both need that attention from their spouse, but perhaps men more so. What is your hubby supposed to do whilst you have ploughed your energies into your children?
As I said, its not an excuse for straying, but why make things difficult for yourself? I personally take this cue from the Bible, but I think as a general operating principle, its pretty sound!
P.S. I do want to add that I am not making a generalisation that the fault of a husband straying lays with the wife, NO WAY I am suggesting that. The fault lies squarely with the husband, but in some cases the wife maybe should have done something to prevent the pain for herself.
Cheers -
jedamum:
All have fallen short of the glory of God, even the pious.
buds, i cringed at the words in bold above.buds:
Yes. Religion can also play a part in an honest relationship,
if one does believe in the higher being..
Being spiritually bound as a family is stronger in a way.
It also helps restrain the need for the urge of developing
a secret life to the one that he already happily owns...
the girl who declared her feelings for my husband is a Cell-leader of her spiritual group. i knew where she worked and knew where she prayed and knew where she blogged; if it had been more than a cup of coffee, Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. :torchme:
Ever heard of Pastors having affairs? It happens, all are vulnerable, but it does not mean that religion is bad. -
What’s sad these days, is that, increasingly, the sanctity of marriage has been violated. Almost nothing seems to be sacred anymore, including the vows made between husband and wife.
Just last year alone, I know of 2 friends who found out about their husbands infidelity. Both have children. One filed for divorce, and the other is hanging on, hoping that her husband will repent. In the 2nd case, the hb will spend Sat night with the lover and has the audacity to attend Sunday church service with his wife and kids the next day. :x
Religion alone was not enough to keep that hb faithful. The lack of self-restraint, conscience and respect for his family reflects his irresponsible actions.
In the past, being divorced is seen as a social stigma, but now, an acceptable norm. Our world is constantly evolving, and sometimes not necessarily for the better.
My humble opinion… -
New generation woman has to face all kinds of pressure and stress such as being a supreme support to hubby, fanastic guardian for children, caretaker to ensure home is well taken care.... wow.... multi-tasker.
What woman is only asking for the loves and cares from their loving man. Just cant understand why man cant control to certain extend? Have they ever tot if woman behave so unfaithful to them? For sure they are unable to take it! Why? Cos of man's ego... What if man has marital affair? Woman will forgive most of the time; for the sake of children; loves... very factual...
Probably has to go back to basic... why are we willingly to sign on the dotted line? cos of loves... Loves and understanding take two hands to clap.
To man, woman either keep mum... or nag more.... Why not voice out or talk it out when there is unhappiness? Spend some time together to have an overview of the week, discuss and share the unhappy incidents and disagreements....
Are we going to be like volcano that explore and threw out the lavas and kill all people? Call :?: BEFORE it is too late....
One thing.... never talk too much when a man is sharing their thoughts too. Thereafter woman may share and then analyse to solve the issue.
Forever my principle... Woman must learn to dress up to attract their own man (hubby). This works well on me, you may try then... :lol: -
reading through some of the posts here, I somehow draw the conclusion that both men and women alike seem to hint that women have to work at keeping the men faithful. From stroking their ego, to ‘tehing’ to dressing up and looking good for our men to putting the man first above all else.
For me, when you enter a marriage, staying faithful to your spouse is EXPECTED. Neither should have to work to keep the other faithful. Yes, I will put him first and yes, I will boost his ego but not so he will stay faithful to me but because he is my husband. And I dress well and look good for myself, not for anyone.
If he strays, he has failed me and not because I did not do certain things.
Well yes, 3boys did state he by no means think it is the womens fault but there should not have been a need for a woman to have to prevent it from happening if the vows mean anything to these men to start with.
haiyah, dunno how to explain lah. -
Funz:
No need to explain...I understand what you are saying perfectly.reading through some of the posts here, I somehow draw the conclusion that both men and women alike seem to hint that women have to work at keeping the men faithful. From stroking their ego, to 'tehing' to dressing up and looking good for our men to putting the man first above all else.
For me, when you enter a marriage, staying faithful to your spouse is EXPECTED. Neither should have to work to keep the other faithful. Yes, I will put him first and yes, I will boost his ego but not so he will stay faithful to me but because he is my husband. And I dress well and look good for myself, not for anyone.
If he strays, he has failed me and not because I did not do certain things.
Well yes, 3boys did state he by no means think it is the womens fault but there should not have been a need for a woman to have to prevent it from happening if the vows mean anything to these men to start with.
haiyah, dunno how to explain lah.
Somehow the world is just not ideal, not fair, not equal and not many things, that is why problems continue to thrive.
Honestly, for those women who try everything that 3boys is pointing at, which I know of a friend who is like that, everything also see to it. Look after hubby(always holidaying with him), children(SAH to look after their needs), herself(always looking good like tai tai), everything to a T.....but.....hai...he was still caught in hanky panky.....so how ah?
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