Does type of housing really matters?

[tankee]

3Boys:

tankee:

true. But is it right to send them away to boarding school at very young age? unless it is due to circumstances unforseen, eg single-parent without family support, all children should grow up under the TLC of both their parents.

As I said, this is not a universal concept and children that grow up outside of it don't necessarily do too badly.

and most likely these kids will be ones that will send their children to boarding school in the future.

they may do well career wise, but would they know the the true meaning of \"family\"?

[corneyAmber]

skunk:

while we must respect all professions, it is also true that some professions are more highly valued than others. To put it in another way, all professions add value to humanity, but some add more than others.

A doctor will add more value to society than a butcher. A butcher requires a lower level of skill and training than a doctor, thus more people have the ability to become a butcher than be a doctor, and through supply and demand, their average salaries reflect that.

Many doctors might be able to re-train to become a butcher, but not many butchers can re-train to become a doctor. Last time is cut up bodies, now is sew up bodies, quite different LOL kidding.

Butchers who eventually make alot of money, say, by establishing a monopolistic network or set up a chain of butcheries, are actually no longer butchers but business-owners. So it's incorrect to say that one has a very good chance of being materially very rich by being a butcher, but one has a much greater chance by being a doctor.

What are the chances of any hairdresser becoming the next David Gan? Or every football-playing kid become a Beckham? It's not to say we should squash aspirations, but they should be conveyed accurately to any child. If a child aspires to be a hairdresser, reality should be made known to them:

1) Hairdressers usually don't make much money and work very long hours, even weekends....are they willing to do so?

2)Hairdressers who run their own salons, are actually not hairdressers, but business owners.

3)They would have a better chance of having a materially better life if they aspire to be a doctor/lawyer etc, but keep hairdressing as a hobby...would they be willing to consider an alternative route?

All these said, not putting down hairdressing or butchery.

I agree with the general facts that you have mentioned and not all things are equal but I would be different in my communication by putting in another dimension. What I mean is my emphasis to my child will not be on the stereotype definition of the occupation to determine cool or not cool , my emphasis would be what you want and can make out of an occupation. That should also open up their minds to think that some extra-ordinary people can also change the mundane description of their occupation and make a difference rather than focus on the definition alone. It is the strength of the mind that I would like to emphasize on and lastly, whatever occupation, it is really how one makes out of it at the end of the day to make it cool or not cool. I know of a surgeon who messed up a surgery big time and the mistake was more severe than a hairdresser who messed up another case. Both are not cool in my opinion. What is cool is the best effort put into every profession, doctor or hairdresser. But if cool is ONLY limited to the amount of money made, then I rest my case.

That is what makes parenting interesting, we probably have the same goals for our children but approach it differently.

[mummy of 2]

insider:

My belief is how parents perceive about something will = to how kids perceive that something generally, many times even though unspoken.


If parents don't feel 'small' about living in an HDB, then generally kids will not feel small as well.

Kids have that kind of faith and confidence or inferior complex if their parents carry such in them, such to me is very true even the parents don't speak out to them but 'hide' them in their hearts (for example, parents themselves feel inferior about living in an HDB but verbally told kids 'don't compare. It's OK to live in one'. Kids' 6th sense can pierce through such lies...)

Totally agree, kids are very intuitive. How you behave will be the true measure of your beliefs, not your words.

[Funz]

insider:

My belief is how parents perceive about something will = to how kids perceive that something generally, many times even though unspoken.


If parents don't feel 'small' about living in an HDB, then generally kids will not feel small as well.

Kids have that kind of faith and confidence or inferior complex if their parents carry such in them, such to me is very true even the parents don't speak out to them but 'hide' them in their hearts (for example, parents themselves feel inferior about living in an HDB but verbally told kids 'don't compare. It's OK to live in one'. Kids' 6th sense can pierce through such lies...)

Yup agree. And oft times, the unspoken comes across stronger then the spoken, especially if one is feeling the unspoken.

[sleepy]

Regardless of the issue, be it housing type, appearance, occupation, ...

Bottom line, it's all about self-esteem. No one can dent your self esteem or belittle your self worth if you don't allow it.

Of course, the challenge is how to teach that to a child who just started primary school. Parents must start building their children's self esteem from birth. Include that as top priority in P1 preparation

[buds]

insider:

My belief is how parents perceive about something will = to how kids perceive that something generally, many times even though unspoken.

Agree.

:goodpost:

[buds]

sleepy:

Regardless of the issue, be it housing type, appearance, occupation, ...

Bottom line, it's all about self-esteem. No one can dent your self esteem or belittle your self worth if you don't allow it.

:goodpost:

:celebrate:

sleepy:

Of course, the challenge is how to teach that to a child who just started primary school. Parents must start building their children's self esteem from birth. Include that as top priority in P1 preparation

:!:

:faint:

:rotflmao:

:udawoman:

:celebrate:

[corneyAmber]

mummy of 2:

insider:

My belief is how parents perceive about something will = to how kids perceive that something generally, many times even though unspoken.


If parents don't feel 'small' about living in an HDB, then generally kids will not feel small as well.

Kids have that kind of faith and confidence or inferior complex if their parents carry such in them, such to me is very true even the parents don't speak out to them but 'hide' them in their hearts (for example, parents themselves feel inferior about living in an HDB but verbally told kids 'don't compare. It's OK to live in one'. Kids' 6th sense can pierce through such lies...)

Totally agree, kids are very intuitive. How you behave will be the true measure of your beliefs, not your words.

Yes I agree too...there is intuition.

[corneyAmber]

sleepy:

Regardless of the issue, be it housing type, appearance, occupation, ...

Bottom line, it's all about self-esteem. No one can dent your self esteem or belittle your self worth if you don't allow it.

Of course, the challenge is how to teach that to a child who just started primary school. Parents must start building their children's self esteem from birth. Include that as top priority in P1 preparation

Definitely true. :celebrate:

[3Boys]

sleepy:

Regardless of the issue, be it housing type, appearance, occupation, ...

Bottom line, it's all about self-esteem. No one can dent your self esteem or belittle your self worth if you don't allow it.

Of course, the challenge is how to teach that to a child who just started primary school. Parents must start building their children's self esteem from birth. Include that as top priority in P1 preparation

I really agree. If I were to recall my P-school experience, ego is really fragile in small kids. Also, intentional or not, children can be very cruel to each other, especially those they perceive to be weak, and sometimes this has nothing to do with upbringing.