All About Teaching Values
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146946:
I totally agree with 3boys. You'll be doing a favour to both your daughter and the boy. For your daughter, it's a teachable moment to learn that such things are not looked upon kindly. And for the boy, well, he has to learn that this is not the way to get what he wants.
She came home, relates the incident to me and told me she wanted to cheat too as she wanted a star instead of doing corrections for wrong answers. Of course I told her she should not cheat but to try her best instead as cheating is wrong. So she asked whether she should inform the teacher of it. Sigh.....though I know this is not the right way, I told her not to and instead, just learn to close one eye. I'm worry she might be targetted by her classmates for telling tales.
However, I do wonder how could a 6 year old boy, only his 3rd week in primary school sitting for his 1st spelling has learned how to cheat, and quite expertly too. Wonder what is his family background and upbringing that taught him to cheat at such young age and wonder what his future like if cheating is acceptable for him.
It's really hard to know where he could have learnt such things, but I don't doubt the ingenuity of young children. All it takes is a little snippet on TV or a book for him to spot this \"opportunity\". I think his parents may be shocked to find out as well. -
I agree with both 3Boys and Blobbi that it should be reported.
However, I can understand one concern. If the other student who saw too did not want to co-operate, then it would be only your girl’s word against the boy who cheated, unless the evidence could still be found.
Since the matter had passed and evidence might be destroyed, it would be hard to report on it. However, if I were you, I would explain all these in clear terms to my child. It is not that she should close one eye, she should act when the evidence could be seized on the spot. If not, reporting right now may just let the teacher cast a doubt on your girl if she was jealous of the “star” she never got and fabricated the tale since there was no way to investigate now.
So why don’t wait for the next test and the moment it happens, stand up and ask for the teacher, catch him red-handed on the spot and let the teacher deal with it. Then he and everyone would learn a lesson. -
Agree with all the above that the matter should be reported.
As mentioned by 3Boys, you could email the teacher to inform her of what has come to your attention. This will reduce the stress on your daughter that she is the \"squealer\" if she was to approach the teacher directly.
On one hand, the boy who \"cheats\" must be taught that what he did was wrong. If his behaviour is not corrected, he would think that he can get away with this bad behaviour.
On the other hand, to give this boy benefit of doubt, perhaps he may not even realise that what he did was cheating - as obvious as the act is to all of us. It may be a case that he forgot how to spell the word and he just took out that piece of paper to copy out the words.
In fact, a similar thing happened with DD1 when she was in P1 years ago. In her 1st spelling test, she forgot how to spell a word, reached down to her school bag, calmly fished out her pocket dictionary and then checked on the spelling - in full view of the teacher. :faint: When the teacher and I questioned her, she replied, \"But mommy, u always ask me to check the dictionary if i cannot remember how to spell the word.\" :faint: :faint: :stupid:
Needless to say, we corrected her actions and told her that what she did was wrong and inappropriate. She never made the same mistake ever since. The teacher acknowledged that it was her 1st month in P1 and may not know any better.
So, whether the boy was really cheating or it's a genuine mistake, it is important to keep the teacher informed and have the teacher tell that boy and his parents that what he did was wrong.
JMHO :lol: :lol: -
If my child came back with this same story, I’d be just as lost too. It really depends on so many things:
1. Is that boy a big boy and could single out my child to bully?
2. Will the other witness co-operate (unlikely - since she asked your child to keep quiet)
3. Will the teacher be receptive enough to believe me?
4. What should I teach my child?
Like the rest, I’d likely focus on (4). If there’s a PTA coming up, I’d likely mention this in passing to the teacher, instead of making a big issue out of it. Afterall, I’d be more concerned about the welfare of my child, and not whether she was fairly treated or not, or whether the other kid got punished or not:
1. That she be taught the right values and
2. She not be a target of bully
The biggest lesson? Life may not necessarily be fair.
The other child?.. err sorry… his parents will have to do the teaching. -
Thanks for all your advise /views. Yah, agree I should inform the teacher, and I will if it happens again, becos, as mentioned by 'schweppes', it might have been a genuine mistake. Maybe the boy did not realise what is the meaning of spelling test since it's his 1st.
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schweppes:
Yah, you've got a good point, Shweppes.
On the other hand, to give this boy benefit of doubt, perhaps he may not even realise that what he did was cheating - as obvious as the act is to all of us. It may be a case that he forgot how to spell the word and he just took out that piece of paper to copy out the words.
In fact, a similar thing happened with DD1 when she was in P1 years ago. In her 1st spelling test, she forgot how to spell a word, reached down to her school bag, calmly fished out her pocket dictionary and then checked on the spelling - in full view of the teacher. :faint: When the teacher and I questioned her, she replied, \"But mommy, u always ask me to check the dictionary if i cannot remember how to spell the word.\" :faint: :faint: :stupid:
Your daughter sounds so tenderly innocent. This is off topic, but soo sweet! -
Blobbi:
Haha... thanks Blobbi. Such was the innocence of a 7yo, from the mouth of babes. :love:
Yah, you've got a good point, Shweppes.
Your daughter sounds so tenderly innocent. This is off topic, but soo sweet!
But now!!! at 12 going onto 13.... going thru adolescence battles!!! -
This is an interesting thread. Picked up lots of nice points here.
Very nice to read a couple of comments from school teachers who mentioned that when they look at kids, they don’t see the kids, they see the parents in them! How true is that… kids grow up in the kind of environment with their parents and emulate their behaviour irregardless of what their parents say and don’t practice!
I have a couple of points for your comments:
1. If daddy/ mummy are going through a hard time, anything, do you explain to your child, let him/her see your situation, not to despise you or to fear, but to learn from you how to overcome adversity? Or is it better to shield your child from the harsh realities of life and maintain a happy childhood? To what extent will you share with you child - what if he turns cynical or to what extend will you protect him? - what if he stays naive?
2. I always wonder why we sometimes read about amazing kids of poor parents who broke through the limitations of their background and become a success in life? The parents are too busy elking out a living to teach moral values or spent much time with the kid. What does the kid has in him or her to become such a good person? Why does other kids in similar circumstances continue to be no-gooders in society? Why then do rich kids with all the privileges of time, money, effort, schooling turn out to be no-gooders too?
3. Besides some of the parents who have shared, I am interested to know what are your top priorities/ values that you teach your children too, and why it is important to you?
Thanks for your sharing. -
insider:
My 16 years old son shared something with me that overall I feel proud of him.
Impressive! You have raised him well :celebrate: -
Glad to see and learn so much from this thread.
For my 3 children, we try hearing them out like friends and talk almost about everything.
When situation arise which requires some decision making, I will ask them for their opinion, but will also share with them our ideas. Ultimately, we leave it to them to do it their way if there is no immediate problems.
This year, we are working with P2 child to be more independent and discipline. In the morning, he will wake up on his own, clean up, and dress up. When back from school, he will change, bath, take lunch and do homework. In the evening, he will then have to pack his school bag and bring it to the doorway, before he can have some time on his own. It took us 1 week to get him into the routine, and he seems to be coping well especially when he gets 1 hour computer time everyday after accomplishing everything.
I have a mother-in-law taking care of the 3 kids at home, but will try to do everything for them. So, we took a chance to tell them how they can help out instead of calling out for their grandmother.
We hope our kids can build up a routine of great habits, and to be more understanding and responsible.