Time schedule & life of Secondary School

[Fairy]

kuzco:

I'm so glad to know that I am not the only one having to prod and remind ds about his school work. We are still trying to adjust to the new schedule. CCAs have not been finalised yet and it is still quite difficult to see how the eventual outcome will be. Hopefully CCA does not clash with his tuition too.

My ds does his work on his notebook and when left alone, he will be having Youtube, facebook and msn and homework all going at the same time. :stupid: :frustrated: :x I have to keep a close watch on him every few minutes to make sure he is actually doing his work.

Last year, I had the same problem with my ds. He was on msn a lot and spent more time chatting than on his work. There were some tension between us as a result of my constant reminder for him to reduce his \"msn time''. After a while, I gave up checking on his online activities.

This year, it's my dd's turn. :x She was on facebook the whole Dec holidays, chatting, mousehunting & farming....Thinking that she'll stop when she starts her sec sch this year, I let her be. Til now, she still spends a lot of time online everday! :x Now she spends her time chatting online & messaging on the Hphone with her primary as well as sec sch friends.

I would be very grateful if any parents can share with me how to set limits to our teenagers' online activities without getting into a 'war of words' with them and straining the parent-child relationship while maintaining our parental authority.

[daisyt]

Hi Fairy, I thought I am the only one having this msn, facebook and blog problems. Glad to know, you are actually having this problem as me too. We tried to talk, give her limits, nag, kept a close eye on (like kuzco) and whatever ways but not successful. No choice, my hubby did something very drastic - block them in her laptop. I have no other options as I am seeing her BEGINNING to get addicted. I know this created some unhappiness but slowly, I can see, she is beginning to understand our good intention.


I personally feel that without all these, we could survive during our study time, I am sure, now its still the same. Don't convince me times has changed, technology has changed. Yes, technology is meant to help us, like the search engines, online informations we can find easily. I admit all these are useful tools for learning, but not msn, facebook, blog and tweeter.

So I am right, all these can be quite addictive.

[kuzco]

Fairy:

Last year, I had the same problem with my ds. He was on msn a lot and spent more time chatting than on his work. There were some tension between us as a result of my constant reminder for him to reduce his \"msn time''. After a while, I gave up checking on his online activities.

This year, it's my dd's turn. :x She was on facebook the whole Dec holidays, chatting, mousehunting & farming....Thinking that she'll stop when she starts her sec sch this year, I let her be. Til now, she still spends a lot of time online everday! :x Now she spends her time chatting online & messaging on the Hphone with her primary as well as sec sch friends.

I would be very grateful if any parents can share with me how to set limits to our teenagers' online activities without getting into a 'war of words' with them and straining the parent-child relationship while maintaining our parental authority.

Hi Fairy. Yes, it has been a war of words and tension in the air since school started. How have your ds and dd been doing in their school work so far?

My thinking is that if they are able to produce results (in their school work), then I will let it be. However, if grades suffer, then something must be done. However, ds always says that he is multi-tasking. He needs his msn because he is discussing with his classmates over school work or project. He says he needs youtube because he wants to listen to music while working. As for facebook, I believe he is justing kaypohing around to see what others are doing. :rant:

I have warned ds already that if his grades were to suffer in his mid-year exams, my last resort would be to block facebook and youtube on his notebook.

Any other parents got any advice?

[westmom]

Fairy:

kuzco:

I'm so glad to know that I am not the only one having to prod and remind ds about his school work. We are still trying to adjust to the new schedule. CCAs have not been finalised yet and it is still quite difficult to see how the eventual outcome will be. Hopefully CCA does not clash with his tuition too.

My ds does his work on his notebook and when left alone, he will be having Youtube, facebook and msn and homework all going at the same time. :stupid: :frustrated: :x I have to keep a close watch on him every few minutes to make sure he is actually doing his work.

Last year, I had the same problem with my ds. He was on msn a lot and spent more time chatting than on his work. There were some tension between us as a result of my constant reminder for him to reduce his \"msn time''. After a while, I gave up checking on his online activities.

This year, it's my dd's turn. :x She was on facebook the whole Dec holidays, chatting, mousehunting & farming....Thinking that she'll stop when she starts her sec sch this year, I let her be. Til now, she still spends a lot of time online everday! :x Now she spends her time chatting online & messaging on the Hphone with her primary as well as sec sch friends.

I would be very grateful if any parents can share with me how to set limits to our teenagers' online activities without getting into a 'war of

words' with them and straining the parent-child relationship while maintaining our parental authority.

I think being \"prepared\" works for me. I've been warned by many of the negative effects of facebook/online chatting/games/hp msg on their lives (including academic aspects). I bring up all these worries/concerns (with stories of others ..to show dd how bad such influences are & consequences) and therefore I inform her that I need to take measure as \"responsible\" mother to curb such activies. I sought her understanding. After PSLE, I allowed her freely to play, facebooking and chat but I already pre-warned her beforehand that non-sch related activities on computer/hp will taken away when Sec 1 school starts. This makes it easier to implement when the time comes. I told her that the hp is only for emergencies use (& I can track because technology is very advance) and all other communications with friends and classmates must be done through the house phone (no hp) and within reasonable time during her breaks. During hols, we agree that such priviledges will be given back to her but only after she does all necessary hw and will be limited to certain duration only. So far she has not protested because some of her friends had similar \"treatment\" too from their parents.

[daisyt]

Westmom, you are doing it so right with min conflict. :celebrate:

[mummyjoyce]

My DD reached home at 6.30om today and she was so angry!!! Her CCA trial ended at 5.10pm and it took more than an hr to get home due to heavy traffic. She has homework to do but needed to check on CCA trial status online (she said just 5 min).

She also wanted to go facebook to see if there is any New Friends. I allowed her ( thinking that it is also another 5 min). The moment she was online, many of her classmates started to chat with her asking her abt her day and homework questions :x
I was sitting next to her and obvious to close to 15min. NOW, i can totally understand the problem with kids going online chatting unnecessary stuffs and it is totally a waste of time.
She is still doing her homework now and she is angry as she cannot get to watch TV pgm and sleep by 9pm.

[girlmum]

OMG! AM I glad to know that I am not the only 1 who is having this problem. My DDs are not allowed to use the com without permission. So far so good except for petty quarrels over who uses longer. Caught DD1 (sec 2) texting when she is supposed to be studying. Talk sense & scold no use :stupid: , Ok for a while, 2 - 3 days later back to sq 1. She blew the sms limit a few times, 1st mth DH paid with warning, 2 & 3rd mths she paid. Now guai guai within limit. I will keep her Hp when she is revising for exams. Told her if grades Ok, mum will be Ok/yes mum, grades not Ok, mum will be Not Ok/No mum. Want new CD, grades Ok, I'm Ok.

[julongmum]

girlmum:

OMG! AM I glad to know that I am not the only 1 who is having this problem. My DDs are not allowed to use the com without permission. So far so good except for petty quarrels over who uses longer. Caught DD1 (sec 2) texting when she is supposed to be studying. Talk sense & scold no use :stupid: , Ok for a while, 2 - 3 days later back to sq 1. She blew the sms limit a few times, 1st mth DH paid with warning, 2 & 3rd mths she paid. Now guai guai within limit. I will keep her Hp when she is revising for exams. Told her if grades Ok, mum will be Ok/yes mum, grades not Ok, mum will be Not Ok/No mum. Want new CD, grades Ok, I'm Ok.

girlmum, mine is very similar to yours. Can't use computer unless there is a valid reason during school term. I am a little relax during hol. As DD & DS are sharing laptop, so they take turn and set time limit for both. There r times they quarrel and complain the other use it longer.

don't play play with computer addiction. when addicted, it does not only affect academically but also character and behavioural changes. Have seen good boy transformed to rebellious and doing-nothing-but-computer games, which is very sad.

[VitoRelax]

daisyt:

Hi Fairy, I thought I am the only one having this msn, facebook and blog problems. Glad to know, you are actually having this problem as me too. We tried to talk, give her limits, nag, kept a close eye on (like kuzco) and whatever ways but not successful. No choice, my hubby did something very drastic - block them in her laptop. I have no other options as I am seeing her BEGINNING to get addicted. I know this created some unhappiness but slowly, I can see, she is beginning to understand our good intention.


I personally feel that without all these, we could survive during our study time, I am sure, now its still the same. Don't convince me times has changed, technology has changed. Yes, technology is meant to help us, like the search engines, online informations we can find easily. I admit all these are useful tools for learning, but not msn, facebook, blog and tweeter.

So I am right, all these can be quite addictive.

You are right daisyt, lots of distraction for the kids nowdays ...

And kudos to you for helping all of us here ...

I hope to learn from your experience ...

Cheers

[kuzco]

julongmum:

don't play play with computer addiction. when addicted, it does not only affect academically but also character and behavioural changes. Have seen good boy transformed to rebellious and doing-nothing-but-computer games, which is very sad.

Agree with you, julongmum. This is my real fear.
Anyway, I am keeping a close watch and will not hesitate to block websites when the time comes.

With technology comes the challenge of walking the middle road. We cannot afford not to acknowledge that technology will be very much in our lives of our children, neither can we ignore the fact that too much of it can lead to the slippery road down to addiction and self-destruction.