Any parents of gifted children here ?
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workingmom:
I suppose when parents say they don't \"teach\" their kids to read, it means that they don't actively sit the child down and get to the child to read word by word?
For my elder daughter, we did not really \"teach\" her to read, being a working mom, I didn't have a lot of time to read with her regularly...we did however ensure that she always had access to books, either from the library or some which we bought.
Neither did I \"teach\" my kids before they turn 2.5 yo. But I do read to them quite a fair bit (though not quite true for my younger girl). Btw, I started reading to them only when they were 9 mths old. But at as early as 15mths old, I found out that my kids can actually read books. Initially, I thought it was only pure memory. But at 2 years old, my son could read a book almost independently after I read to him twice (not the one-three sentence readers). As for my girl, she could read Dora the Explorer's Storytime Collection almost by herself at around the same age. But I attributed this to their ability in sight reading.
Though they are pretty good readers now, like what deminc and workingmom mentioned, they are still far from being able to read like adults. My son finished Charlotte the Web (within hours) twice independently. Each time, he learned something new and would share with me. I could see the contrast of the 2 views with time. The same goes for The Unfortunate Series of Events. With each book, he gets more insightful into the story. Though he has the ability to read such books, I think, for the age, it's still a bit too heavy for him. His preference for books still lies in those books with some cartoons. (En, thanks for the recommendation on Young Scientists. He simply loves them.) Books like Franny K Stein, Magic School Bus etc holds his interest most as they have wacky characters
Honestly, I can never be as hardworking as Tamarind or the mom she mentioned. Even during the period when we homeschooled, we didn't do much. Basically, I don't believe in cramming knowledge as well. But in our society, the pressure to give our kids the headstart is rather scary. Sometimes I do get sucked into the mad rat race too. So, I guess it's difficult to blame parents for trying to do their best to give their kids that headstart.
As for Tamarind's worry abt \"wasting potential\", I suppose if the kid has potential, it'll always be there as long as the right challenge is posed. I'm not sure if my kids have special potential in math, but both picked up numbers extremely fast. 2 months before his 4th birthday, ds could add/subtract (to 5) for numbers ranging between 1 to 100 mentally. He simply has the number line up in his head and it \"jumps\" around as he called it. My gal is displaying similar traits now too. But I'm not rushing her but simply taking it easy.
Sleepy mentioned that [quote]If the child can absorb (be it flash cards, puzzles, lego, drawing, reading, knowledge in science, maths, music, whatever), I don't see what harm can be done?[/quote]I agree with that to a certain extent. While a kid has to the ability to absorb like a sponge, I don't think it's necessary to \"fill\" them up to the maximum at this age. With my son's absorption rate in Math, I should probably start him on mulitplication, division, fractions, percentages etc earlier. But I chose not to. In fact, I simply taught him to skip count by 2,5 and 10 and got him to work the time-tables (1 to 9) by himself early this year. This probably would be an uphill task for him if I try to push it earlier. Interestingly, he's the one who asked me questions like what's 5 x100, 3 x24 (Nope, he hasn't been exposed to such questions yet.) I totally agree with Deminc that learning is more of a marathon and not sprint.
Unlike Tamarind's kids, both my hubby and myself are not able to \"teach\" science by just talking about it to our kids. (Of course, if they ask, we'll provide answers.) Neither can we provide explainations as what Chiefkiasu could (your explanation on MP3/CD player is really awesome!). So, we rely on reading up books a lot. My son likes reading Science books together as he needs clarification at times. I won't say he asks a lot of questions but his questions often require me to do some work (I'm not really good at knowledge.) For instance, when we taught him how the earth rotates around the sun, he questioned us on why does the sun seem to \"drop\" into the water. Shouldn't the sun be perceived as moving across the sky? Seriously, I am quite scared of \"teaching\" him. I may end up having to do a lot of research and explanation :oops: But fortunately, there is Internet nowadays :lol: On Science knowledge, he displayed the ability to remember them at around 2. After reading to he on how the digestive system works, he could regurgitate the piece of information easily. Besides, he could identify veterbrates and inverbrates at the age of 2+ too. Again, I wasn't interested in feeding him info and have him regurgitate them. Now as he picks up such knowledge from his own reading, he's able to make better connections. In a way, that's our preferred learning style.
Are my kids are gifted? Frankly, as a mother, I'm proud of my kids. It's immaterial to have them labelled as anything. Am I scared of the word \"gifted\"? Maybe. But not because it's elitist. Rather, it's the negative aspects of it. Gifted kids are often associated with sensitivity, emotional etc issues times bigger than usual kids. While my kids display a certain level of maturity, they do not display such difficulties common amongst Gifted kids. So, they cannot be gifted lah.
Btw, being a SAHM doesn't mean a mother does nothing except \"teach\" or \"nurture\" kids all day long at home. At least, not for my case. We are maidless from the very start with zilch help from anybody. Most of the times, my kids would be doing things on their own, swinging from playing, watching TV to reading on their own. Of course, I would get them to do some seatwork when my time and mood permits it
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EN:
EN,When I join KS forum, that is the first time I heard about it. Better not ask how I feel about hot housing a baby. It's an eye opener when I first spot it in this forum.
You should go to SGparenting to take a look around. It will really open your eyes to the flashing-card trade/practice
. The flashcards discussion here in KSP is considered very very mild in comparison. 
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Chamonix wrote [quote]Seriously, I am quite scared of \"teaching\" him. I may end up having to do a lot of research and explanation [/quote]
I can emphatize. There quite a number of times when ds ask something & I thought I gave the right answer. Boy, does he come back to haunt me to check if my facts are indeed correct. :oops:
Hmmmm...Have ds hit you with \"obsession\" yet?
Hi jedamum
I got the glimpse of the SGparenting thread that Tamarind provided here. It scares me off but if I ever going to have another child, I will not succumb to the pressure of the society. I grew up as a very happy, independent kid & I hope my children feels the same way too. -
EN:
Chamonix wrote [quote]Seriously, I am quite scared of \"teaching\" him. I may end up having to do a lot of research and explanation
I can emphatize. There quite a number of times when ds ask something & I thought I gave the right answer. Boy, does he come back to haunt me to check if my facts are indeed correct. :oops:
Hmmmm...Have ds hit you with \"obsession\" yet?
[/quote]That's my nightmare too. Sometimes when I explain or mention something wrongly, he'll be quick to correct me and even cite the book that gives the info... So now my favourite response is \"Let's check the internet. \"
[quote]I got the glimpse of the SGparenting thread that Tamarind provided here. It scares me off but if I ever going to have another child, I will not succumb to the pressure of the society. I grew up as a very happy, independent kid & I hope my children feels the same way too.[/quote]Can't agree more on this. -
EN:
Oops, overlooked the question :oops: He's not obsessed with any topic at the moment. Rather, he's obsessed with the subject - Science. Told me he just more interested in reading Science stuff at the moment, especially Young Scientist Magazines. And now we are reading the Childcraft books and other Science related books together...
Hmmmm...Have ds hit you with \"obsession\" yet?
How are your experiment sessions with your ds? After much harping from him, I have finally begun doing experiments with him. Our first experiment - growing crystals. Will probably be reading up on crystallization these few days. -
chamonix wrote [quote]How are your experiment sessions with your ds?[/quote]
You might want to refer to jedamum's thread on \"Simple Science Experiment\" & share your experience too. (Sorry. Dont know how to create link. ) If you read it, you know I only done 2 so far. :lol:
chamonix wrote [quote]He's not obsessed with any topic at the moment. Rather, he's obsessed with the subject - Science. Told me he just more interested in reading Science stuff at the moment, especially Young Scientist Magazines.[/quote]As long as you can cope emotionally, physically, intellectually, dont think there's any issue here.
Hi Tamarind
Based on your previous post, I know you have done wonderful jobs interacting & nurturing your kids. I did the baking session with my kids too & they love it. Simple things allow them to learn but I do not want to call it as \"teaching moments\". I would rather call them special moments together. I have an unused digital camera that my dh received. If the weather is sunny tomorrow, we are heading down to the park & they can start clicking away. My kids want to learn how to download picture & post in our family blog. -
EN:
As long as you can cope emotionally, physically, intellectually, dont think there's any issue here.
:roll: That's something I never have much to talk about... Anyway, he's into Basketball currently. We have finished the entire series of Hot Shot (yup, all 24 chapters) and his dad just bought PS3 NBA 07. So now, both father and son (sister's the spectator) are glued to the game. Rest time for me :lol: -
EN:
Joshua's mommy wrote :
I read through the blog & stop short at the caning part. Dont know why there is a need to cram the child with so much at a very young age.
Btw, Joshua is , like any ordinary child, at this age of misbehaving....at times very challenging for us! We wld use the cane on him. Do u ? He's very afraid of the cane! 1 advise though i am not an expert : when u use the cane, the child must be able to differentiaite btw the 'canner' and the cane - meaning to say taht the child must be afriad of the cane,not the 'canner' ! NEVER NEVER cane out of ANGER and FRUSTRATION. After i cane him, i wld always re-affirm my love for him cuz' i feel tat it's very important for him to hear that from me . I caned him for the wrong actions that he did, not cuz' he's a bad boy. High on my list is giving him unconditional love despite his misbehaviour !
I thought she caned him only when he misbehaved. She was not using the cane in the process of cramming him with knowledge.
EN, I am just curious to know, do you cane your kids ?
I do not cane my kids at all, even when they misbehaved. When my girl was around 18 months to 2 years 6 months old, she liked to test our authority. I never caned her, but I let her know that she could never get her way but throwing tantrums. After 3 years old, she knew the boundaries, and she has been a darling. I am a firm believer of not using the cane, or any means that will cause physical pain on a child. It is not easy to find another parent who thinks the same way.EN:
Yes I do take the cue from her. When it comes to knowledge, she seems very willing to listen and absorb any topics that her Daddy tells her. We don't go testing her on how much she can remember. Her Daddy also don't care about teaching her what she will be tested in school later, for example, he was telling her about plate tectonics the last few days.The reason I'm asking is to know if you do take the cue from your daughter. Especially if she is showing great interest when you touch on the topic. Do help her to explore if she shows great interest. I'm sure your daughter will flourish when she is able to share her interest with you.
I want to let her try out all sorts of activities. Last year I wanted to send her to a dance class, but she refused to go, so I canceled it. She loves drawing, and I have been buying books about drawing for her, and I also let her try various drawing classes.
I feel that one very important aspect that many parents ignored, is the development of fine motor skills. I knew a 4 year old boy whose mother told me that he can read, but I observed that he cannot even cut a small piece of scotch tape and paste it properly on a piece of paper. Needless to say he cannot write well. Developing fine motor skills at a young age is very important for writing, isn't learning to write as important as reading ? I have not heard about any other child who is highly developed at fine motor skills before the age of 5.
Baking is a good way of developing a child's motor skills, and also the ability to follow instructions. The act of scooping flour/sugar without spilling is not easy for very young children. Even cracking eggs require practice. Baking for me is a form of teaching. Our special moments together, are like sometimes taking long MRT rides together (from Boon Lay to Changi Airport), or simply lying in bed and talking to each other every night.
As a full time working mom, I am out of the house from 7am to 7pm, 5 days a week. I can never be as hardworking as SAHMs.
I do not want to maximize my girl's potential. But I feel very guilty if I did nothing at all. Doing nothing for a child who has a high ability to learn at a very young age, is \"wasting potential\". There are many full time working mommies who do not even have a chance to talk to their kids during the weekdays at all.chamonix:
It is not easy to \"pose the right challenge\". A lot of thoughts and preparation are required.As for Tamarind's worry abt \"wasting potential\", I suppose if the kid has potential, it'll always be there as long as the right challenge is posed.
All definitions of a gifted individual use words like \"may\", \"some\", \"often\", etc. My understanding is that a child does not have to fit into all those characteristics in order to be identified as gifted.
I am not trying to label some kids as gifted, and other kids as not gifted. I am just trying to provide a platform, where mommies who think that their kids have some or most of the characteristics of gifted children, can meet and talk freely about their kids and their development.
It is absolutely fine whatever term anyone choose to use.
I have never told my girl that she is \"gifted\". In fact, I told her that there are many children in this world who are more clever than her, and that she can always learn from any of her friends and classmates. I think that helps, because she gets along well with kids of all ages. -
chamonix wrote [quote]That's something I never have much to talk about... [/quote]
Even without the obsession period, I understand it can be very stressful. You can share it here or can always PM me if you ever need a sympathetic ear.
By the way, he is currenty into PSP. Yup rest time for me too! PS: We are of the same age
Tamarind wrote [quote]EN, I am just curious to know, do you cane your kids ? [/quote]I dont even know in this millenium age, cane is still being sold & use. My father never hit me. When I did wrong, he just have to call my name sternly & I started crying. My mother beat me using her hand which feels like a hard pat which also make me cry. So no caning for my kids. A hard pat for my dd on the palm or any fleshy part if she is naughty. My ds rarely gets beaten. I did the same like what my father did. Call him sternly & I can see from the body language that he is really afraid. Perspiration, rigid body, red face, trying to control the tears. More of a warning talk & he will be reduce into deep remorse.
Tamarind wrote [quote]I have not heard about any other child who is highly developed at fine motor skills before the age of 5. [/quote]DS started writing quite early. I wanted to teach him alphabets. I think during that time, PCF is teaching writing alphabets (follow the dotted lines & repeat). I wanted DS to be a step ahead & tried teaching him to remember writing in sequence instead. All big letters & all small letters in sequence. But I never got to teach :? because he took a white piece of paper & complete the alphabets in sequence & show it to me. (There's no alphabet chart in the room either).
The spiderman drawing in the other thread is very special to us. DS likes to draw but will usually pester DH to draw action pack figure or cars. My DH was quite stress. The ones DS asked to draw contains lots of detail work like transformer, batmobile. I suggested to DH to give some excuses & encourge my DS to draw instead. My reason being, I was taken aback by his ability to read his sister encyclopedia when back then, this naive mother daily read his non-fiction book thinking it is too difficult for him to read & was trying to coax him to read big letter books with pictures which he refuse. So, the spiderman is ds 1st attempt in drawing action pack figure instead of dh. No art classes for ds. I dont see the need. Errr...Am I depriving him?
Tamarind wrote [quote] Her Daddy also don't care about teaching her what she will be tested in school later, for example, he was telling her about plate tectonics the last few days.[/quote]I understand. The difference between us is your dh is able to talk to her freely while we have to depends on books to explore.
Tamarind wrote [quote]The act of scooping flour/sugar without spilling is not easy for very young children. Even cracking eggs require practice. Baking for me is a form of teaching. [/quote]You are right. It is learning. Just by baking, you can put in math (weighing machine), science (temperature, nutritional facts) & art (decoration). I just simply think of it as playing tea party & we had fun.
Tamarind wrote [quote]I am just trying to provide a platform, where mommies who think that their kids have some or most of the characteristics of gifted children, can meet and talk freely about their kids and their development. [/quote]Thank you very much for this thread. It's nice being able to share how we feel with someone who understand. -
Hi hi!
Posted a reply a few days ago but it didn't enter the system. I don't have the time to rewrite another long reply - and in any case, the conversation has moved on liao
Anyway, just to the few questions i remember -
reading - the missing detail is \"formal reading instruction\". Yes every child needs some exposure in terms of being read to, or overhearing the language etc, that goes without saying. But many highly gifted children do not require formal instructions - where you sit down and memorise sight word or do phonic classes etc.
In the case of the young boy, according to the researcher (can't remember her name now) he asked his mother to read to him one night, and told her to put her fingers under the words as she read. The next day, he repeated his request again. After that, he never needed anyone to read to him again.
Miraca Gross - I didn't read any books by her. I got to know her work through someone else who attended a workshop conducted by her on the identification and teaching of gifted children. Thereafter, I read some of her papers on gifted children, peer relations and friendship. That is my main area of interest.
It did cross my mind that probably we all have different viewpoints on how best to interact with a high-ability child because of the differences in children's personalities.
I am a work-at-home mum with more time at my disposal to interact with my children. I do not have to \"maximise\" the few hours I have at night.
However, I don't find myself spending a lot of time \"teaching\" my sons at all in the formal sense.
My 4+ spends a lot of time playing with the neighbours and at the playground. At home, he draws and builds etc. Most of my effort goes into toy and book selection for him, and he needs me there to answer his questions. He's very sensitive, and a perfectionist, and my focus is on more his emotional growth than his intellectual growth. Oh ya, and his manners!!
My 1+ is very bright, and get into all sort of scrapes. My main task is to teach him safety consciousness and keep him out of hospitals!
Gotta run now!
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