Any parents of gifted children here ?

[en107rn.01056yahoo.01056com.01056sg]

Chamonix. The point 8 is actually refering to Tamarind's daughter. Her daughter is good because ......


I do understand your situation. My son has the same set of problem but in his case, he is able to get at least one good friend to click with. It does take time though. I remember Tamarind says, her daughter takes at least 6 months to open up. Mine takes time too.

Rules. Even if there is no set of rules, I have the feeling that ds knows (including yours) what is right & what is wrong. Tamarind says [quote]My girl now knows all the boundaries very well, and she listens to our reasoning, she does not need to be disciplined [/quote]I understand that because I see the same trait in DS.

About your son interacting more with girls, kids like ours will find like minded friends to play with. Eg, in a playground, my dd will continue to play with any new friends she met. But my ds will immediately get out of the playground if someone is rude or play rough.

I met my dd classmate who at P1 has finished Harry Potter book & at P2 is finding the final book. My dd practically is trying to inch away from her friend but ds click right away. She is talking about the subject of infinity that got my son to be intrigue & they happily chat.

As long as your ds is happy to go to school & is able to make friend, things should be fine.

[metz]

EN:

Rules. Even if there is no set of rules, I have the feeling that ds knows (including yours) what is right & what is wrong. Tamarind says [quote]My girl now knows all the boundaries very well, and she listens to our reasoning, she does not need to be disciplined

I understand that because I see the same trait in DS. [/quote]Yes, my son shares the same trait too. A child who's being disciplined does not necessary imply that he/she doesn't take to reasonings as well as one whose parents feel he/she does not need to be disciplined. It's just a case of different parents having different perceptions.

[quote]As long as your ds is happy to go to school & is able to make friend, things should be fine.[/quote]There are some aspects of school that he didn't quite like. But the computer and thinking classes are a draw for him. Moreover, he enjoys preparing for the school concert and Sports event. All these are keeping him happy to attend school

[metz]

EN:

Rules. Even if there is no set of rules, I have the feeling that ds knows (including yours) what is right & what is wrong. Tamarind says [quote]My girl now knows all the boundaries very well, and she listens to our reasoning,

I understand that because I see the same trait in DS. [/quote]Yes, my son shares the same trait too. A child who's being disciplined does not necessary imply that he/she doesn't take to reasonings as well as one whose parents feel he/she does not need to be disciplined. Neither does it mean we love our kids any less than parents who don't believe in disciplining kids. It's just a case of different parents having different perceptions.

[quote]As long as your ds is happy to go to school & is able to make friend, things should be fine.[/quote]There are some aspects of school that he didn't quite like. But the computer and thinking classes are a draw for him. Moreover, he enjoyed preparing for the school concert and Sports event. All these are keeping him happy to attend school

[cnimed]

EN:

I'm curious. Would you be able to briefly describe why you feel your ds is very sensitive & perfectionist?

hi, they are FINALLY asleep, so here I am catching up on work and feeding my internet addiction.

Gosh, my mind actually went blank for a moment at your question. My ILs who are teachers have been commenting on that, but I didn't like having my children labelled and always shrugged them off. It's only with time that I realised they are right.

When he was a baby, he would turn the wooden play blocks so that the grain of the wood are all running the same way. He would then aligned them up perfectly. Once he did them up in parallel rows across the entire corridor and DH tested him by pushing the blocks out of place while he's busy aligning one row. He redid everything again. It took him about half an hour, and he went to bed only after everything was to his satisfaction. He was about 14 months then and I still remember we went to bed at 11.30pm that night. (My children don't sleep in cots, they will crawl/walk to their beds by themselves at night.)

This mild obssession with order was a problem for him when he entered preschool. Up till then, the idea of knocking buildings down was foreign to him. He had never destroyed, only built, something which other parents often commented on but I never appreciated. After he finished building, he would pack up carefully. School was obviously different.

Sensitive...well I guess in all ways, good and bad. Emotionally sensitive certainly. Once at a foodcourt, a man in front of my queue was obviously tight for cash, asking about the cost of every dish. Talking to DH, I said I felt sorry for him. DS chimed in and asked why, I said \"becuase he's poor\". DS asked how did I know he was poor and I related the incident without thinking, and mentioned the man's dressing. When I saw that DS was quite affected by it, I shut up immediately.

He is the greenie in the house, turning off all unused electrical appliances so that \"there will be some left for the poor people.\" After the incident, he apparently began role-playing a rich man giving away money in school to all his classmates.

We've never made it through any cartoons or movies. There's bound to be something that upsets him.

His sensitivity extends to his anger. He doesn't lash out at the first instance, he implodes. I'm working with him on managing his emotions. Recently we talked about how you need to cry before you can feel good again, and other ways of releasing emotions. He told me he felt sad when other children hit or scratched him in school and he would run in the playground to release the feelings. That made ME sad.

He also observes body language and vocal tones and asks if we're angry or tired. When someone is not well, he will immediately take on the role of a caregiver, fluffing up pillows, putting blankets, closing curtains and all.

Sorry for rambling, I probably added a lot of irrelevant stuff. It's like revisitng the past thinking your question through. It's been a really stressful first year at preschool for us. I'm so glad it's over.

[tamarind]

When in school, my girl is always very willing to follow the teacher’s instructions. I don’t know why, but it seems to be part of her nature. She does not see why she should not listen to the teacher. My girl first started to go to playgroup when she was 2 years old. Her teacher’s comments about her behaviour, that she is very quiet. It takes a long time before she warms up to the teachers or other classmates.


But at home, she does not always like to follow my instructions. Before 3 years old, she tried her best to test our authority. After 3 years old, she learns that good behaviour is the only way to go if she wants to get anything. In fact, she has become quite manipulative. If she wants something, she will be so nice and sweet, that her Daddy will always give in so long as it is reasonable. I try not to fall in that trap. She knows that her Daddy detests any wailing, so whenever she is unhappy, she will hide under the table and cry quietly. Then her Daddy will try to console her. I will ignore her. My 4 year old boy still has not learn that trick yet.

[en107rn.01056yahoo.01056com.01056sg]

Hi Deminc. Dont worry about your child. Enjoy what nature has bestowed you. Feel free to share or pop any questions. We are no experts but we do face similar situation.



chamonix wrote [quote]There are some aspects of school that he didn't quite like. But the computer and thinking classes are a draw for him. Moreover, he enjoyed preparing for the school concert and Sports event. All these are keeping him happy to attend school [/quote]What happen then when he goes to P1? Any action plan?

My ds school has no concert, there's game but not sport, no computer lesson either. When I make a direct comparison between your ds & mine, mine lag far behind. Yet, my ds has been sorely disappointed when he goes to P1. He told me before kindergarten are for babies & looking forward for P1. But then P1 repeats the whole chunks that he already know & where is his favourite subject science? Why this school has no general knowledge either. Luckily he finds chess but now he grumbles why he is not move up (they are being rank). He feels the teacher always spend time with the senior kids & left the younger ones on their own. He is not happy but has no issue going to school. Loves going into the school office. Err.. to complain, to report a lost, to help friend to find lost stuff, to return things people lost. Must be a familiar figure in the school office now. :roll:

Tamarind, we mothers are tough creature. We have full of love but we can see when we are being taken advantage upon.

[tamarind]

deminc,

Yes like EN said, please feel free to share here

EN,
Actually I am guilty of indulging her. I bought her too many toys/clothes/shoes etc even without her asking :oops: I am a mommy who is always guilty that I have not spent enough time with her. In fact she seldom ask me to buy things for her. She asks for her Daddy to spend time talking to her, or ask me to let her watch her favourite DVD, or do activities with her like painting with poster colors etc.

Have you considered looking around for a suitable school for your son ? Perhaps there are some primary schools out there with classes to cater to kids like your son ?

For example, I heard that West Grove primary school not only has extra lessons for weaker students, they also have special lessons for the more advanced students.

[en107rn.01056yahoo.01056com.01056sg]

Tamarind, why feel guilty in indulging? Each child deserves the best. Even for a very poor family, their main priority if they have some cash extra will be for their children. I buy things for my kids without them asking me too. I'm a working mother. Still trying very hard to not hire back a maid due to privacy issue. Just dont think in terms of quantity but the quality time you set aside for your children each day.


I'm looking around for new school. My dd school will be perfect but unfortunately it's a girl school :lol:. His school does has top 3 classes which are already full of students who are scoring near to a perfect score or hit a bingo. For the top 3 classes, they will be doing \"The Little Red Hen\". :roll:

[cnimed]

catching up...


caning/discipline - my sister actually broke the cane in a fit of anger, but fortunately not on the kid, but the shelf next to him. :lol:

reading/highly gifted/THAT kid - well, he is supposed to be profoundly gifted, I believe.

my kid - ya, I enjoy him when there is no school. When there is school it's stress time for me because he can become very moody and irritable. He complains about repetitive work, and he's either the first to finish and bored(so easy), or cannot finish (want to add more details but teacher says no).

By end of the year, he was less angry but became very dreamy and distracted. I realised that he was starting to tune out any form of instruction (except for Mandarin). A simple writing exercise will see his letters and numbers making strange faces and jumping off coiled springs, and as he really gets into his doodling, he will add vehicles to cart them off the page.

tamarind,
ds was also very obedient in school. He's quite shy, he doesn't like to stand out from the crowd. But obedient didn't mean he was happy. He would just bring all the tension home. The teacher told me he was very happy, very well-adjusted in school. My first thought was BS! I could see he was not thriving, and I didn't agree with forcing him to adapt to it as some had suggested to me.

chamonix,
is your son still in preschool? Which school is he in? Any chance it's in hillview/ upper bukit timah area? I'm always hoping to find the perfect school without breaking the bank.

[metz]

Hi Deminc,


As what En mentioned, your experiences sound strangely familiar to us too. However, I am blessed in that I was staying in a remote area during my son's first few years. To us, we had never felt our kids were different or strange in any way then (and now too). Different kids are born with different difficulties and temperaments. Perhaps, ignorance is bliss too. We have always approached our kids in a rational manner and nothing has ever gone out of hand. So take heart, your love and patience will definitely help your son along the way.

Yup, we are living in Hillview Avenue You too? My son is attending Arise Kindy (near Bt Timah Hill). I wouldn't say it's the perfect school but it provides the social interaction that my son needs. As what some kids experienced, school work is definitely not challenging for him. He always complains about them being too easy (except Chinese), short play time, teachers not keeping their words, kids not behaving etc... But for the snack time and various other non-academic activities, he's willing to put up with those. In his own words, he said he'd try to take them :lol: I feel that school works out for him because both sides (teachers and him) understand and know what to expect from each other.



Hi Tamarind,

Teachers' comments have always been that he interacts well in class. But that definitely runs in contradiction to what he has been telling me. For CH, he didn't even know his classmates' names (a class of 8 kids only) after almost a month in school! For the current Kindy, it took him about a month to settle in. He was crossed with everybody initially because there was no formal introduction for him to know his classmates! :roll: I had to bear with his grumbling for 2-3 weeks! So, I do take the teachers' comments and his grumbles with a pinch of salt.

About indulging unnecessary, we are guilty of that too :oops:
[quote]so whenever she is unhappy, she will hide under the table and cry quietly.[/quote]
Can that be a girl thing? My girl does something like that too. She'll go one corner, sulks and sobs quietly. When asked why, she would reply \"I'm sad because no one wants to read/play with me.\"