In-law problems?

[rugrats_pat]

And so of course in our real world, “The person who loves others will also be loved” doesn’t really quite work this way.

[tree nymph]

rugrats_pat,

how are you now? Have you thought about moving out?

[minnie2004]

hi rugrats_pat, I totally understand how you feel. Don’t think I can live a single day like that (a 10-day vacation with my MIL was enough to put me into depression for a whole year).


As tree nymph just mentioned, the best solution is just to move out. Even move to some place nearby, as long as you guys are not under one roof, a lot of problems can be solved. Then again, his parents may disagree as he’s the only son. But for the benefits of everyone, I think you need to fight for that.

I heard that in China, the most sought after spouse canditates are those "you lou you che, fu mo shuang wang" (have property and car, both parents dead). I was shocked at first but I think there’s a lot of truth to it.

[tree nymph]

minnie2004,

no lah, don’t think of the orphaned hb lah. its very sad to grow up without parents.

i’m also fighting to move out. no sucess yet, but first of all, i’ve got to get a place. looking now

[buds]

Me too, tree nymph.


On one hand want hubs to be filial to his parents.
Take care of them in their golden years but who
will take care of me, if my marriage fails then…

Seriously, we can never underestimate the danger
of interfering and overbearing in-laws. I was just
too naive to believe everyone has good in them.

[2ppaamm]

Aiyoh, ILs are the most sensitive issues in my household. I have learnt to shut up and not talk about any of my ILs, because it always ends up unhappy.


I'll never stay with MIL. She's a good person, but I'm better off having the house to myself, and scream all I want at the kids, scold the maids (when I had them), laugh at my husband. And make my own decision whether or not I like to wash my feet. Also hate that MIL like to compare herself with me. I think a bit siao. :siao:

Compare my nails with her nails, compare my manicure with hers, compare how many kids (I have more lah), compare how well she can cook (I can bake she cannot lah), compare how much her son loves her more than me (she has to be disappointed ):P , compare this compare that. Fed up!

I'd rather have my own life, and see MIL once every CNY.

[buds]

lovekidsverymuch:

not long post dear... I guess the best thing bout it is that you are vvvvvvv far from her and chances of her coming to you is very remote so thats good news right...

Yes, you cannot imagine how lucky you are to be so far away..
But i can understand where you're coming from. Most of my MIL's
antics are from some time back. But the pain and the sadness have
always had that biting and aching feeling when it resurfaces in my thots
especially when i have a bad time or patch with hubs.. i wonder if all this
time, my enduring was worth it. Dun get love from them is one thing as
long as we feel the love with our hubs. But if hubs oso give problem and
not understanding, it really takes a toll on us. Worse still ignore home
problems and stay out from the house to avoid the issues. :roll:

lovekidsverymuch:

anyways my MIL also keep cursing me that the way I am not behaving well with them (i really dont know wat I have done bad with them other then asking them to give me some space in my house with my kids and DH) since I have 2 sons both my future DIL will not behave well with me :stupid:

Not enough cursing you and your life being in your house, she even cursed
your future generation and future life? Wow. Really biting.. I feel you, girl.

[2ppaamm]

tree nymph:

minnie2004,

no lah, don't think of the orphaned hb lah. its very sad to grow up without parents.

i'm also fighting to move out. no sucess yet, but first of all, i've got to get a place. looking now

Move out, move out. It can only do good to the relationship. I think I made the big mistake of staying with my ILs early in my marriage. It really left some scars on the relationship. Every quarrel is over the ILs. So sick!

[buds]

2ppaamm:

Aiyoh, ILs are the most sensitive issues in my household. I have learnt to shut up and not talk about any of my ILs, because it always ends up unhappy.

I'll never stay with MIL. She's a good person, but I'm better off having the house to myself, and scream all I want at the kids, scold the maids (when I had them), laugh at my husband. And make my own decision whether or not I like to wash my feet. Also hate that MIL like to compare herself with me. I think a bit siao. :siao: [quote]
I get where you're getting at. It is :sick: really..

I totally get the whole of paragraph 2 cos mine's just like that.
I cannot scold my own kids. I'd be deemed a monster and she'll
come interfere to so call be the goody one who says i'll kill the monster
for you. :x Even my own husband doesn't interfere when i'm disciplining
or if i like screaming at my kids.

She tried comparing once with regards to discipline. Said she was never
like screaming, or threatening... she wud just take away privileges and
stuff her kids liked. My husband scoffed at that and said, he was chased
with a plastic hose around the village... and she would only be satisfied
if she got at least one stroke... and here i am being made to look like da
monster. Ya. You're rite 2ppaamm, it is :siao:

[buds]

minnie2004:

thanks pecalis. i feel better just by talking about it.

I hear ya, minnie! :hugs: