How do you deal with arrogant/how lian people around you?
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Tell them u have a master degree so can nurture your children...I guess they are not awared that these days, most mummys are very qualified as in very educated.You contribute in a different way...
sleepy:
Blobbi:
I'm so glad I quit my full time job... I'm so glad it turned out the way it did. I see a lot of my friends trapped in the cycle - the money is too good to give up, so the kids pay the price.
Me too, best decision I ever made is to stay home to :snuggles: with my kids. I'm happier at home than at work.
However, I've to entertain this question every CNY: Why aren't you working? Wasted your Masters degree!
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Actually, I am sure I am how lian to some people without my own knowledge, or purposely doing so. There’s never an intention to put anyone down, but some people get put down easily.
I was told I how lian once because I was giving out my name card to my ex-classmates… I found it so strange. So, I printed another set of cards, with no designation, and no company name, just my contacts on the blank beige card. Nowadays, I don’t even bother to give out name cards, I just ask for theirs and send them an email.
When my boss and/or my hubby introduces me, they tend to overstate my abilities. Nowadays, I keep as silent as possible, I know some jealously will definitely be brewing. Some people don’t know that they are just being very nice and I’m not as capable as they made me out to be, so take it easy lah.
If people have the perception that you are how lian, you are no matter what you do or say, you are one. Nowadays, I don’t even want to share my recipes anymore, because people might think I’m trying to show my prowess. I thought share share learn learn mah… but some people think it is show-off.
As for people who appear how lian to me, I tried to rationalize why they are like that, and end up pitying them most of the time. Ha ha. I’d come home and tell DH about what they say and then we’d have a good laugh.
I guess it takes all kinds to make this world a happy and fun place. If all of us are the same, what a boring place this would be. At least, there won’t be this thread! -
When I think through the number of people who are persistently how lian, the truth is, the number is small. I can only count three people like that, and boy, are they well known in their circles! These are the bad apples that make us think that there are so many of them out there.
Some people seem like they are boasting, but if we give them the benefit of the doubt and some time, usually, they balance themselves out.
So people, don't let these guys spoil your day. Just avoid/rant here, and realize that most people in the world are alright. :celebrate: -
Blobbi:
Agree!When I think through the number of people who are persistently how lian, the truth is, the number is small. I can only count three people like that, and boy, are they well known in their circles! These are the bad apples that make us think that there are so many of them out there.
Some people seem like they are boasting, but if we give them the benefit of the doubt and some time, usually, they balance themselves out.
So people, don't let these guys spoil your day. Just avoid/rant here, and realize that most people in the world are alright. :celebrate: -
2ppaamm:
Oops, it seems that this thread OT cos of a comment I made earlier. :booboo: Sorry guys. However, I agree with most of the posts here about listening to our children and spending more time with them than to be caught up in our own world of corporate climbing. I'm a strong advocate on parents being there for their children before it's too late. (that explains my rantings in the first place). My DS3 is a very good example. I nurtured him the way I think best when he was in his formative years and inculcate in him the joy of learning. By the time he was in primary school, (yes, from P1 onwards) he has little help from me in his work and has been receiving one Edusave award after another. He admits that he was very relaxed and only when he's now in sec 1 that he's doing real work. If I have pushed him more, he could have done better in his PSLE definitely, but I chose to let him decide and work at his own pace. Guess, I sound how lian now, sorry. Sometimes I'm aware that I may sound how lian when I ask his classmates' parents about their children results and couldn't help feeling proud when they congratulate me on DS3 achievements. Sometimes we do deserve to bask on our children success also lah, hor. Sometimes I don't dare to ask cos may seem that I want to how lian. But, I'm more than willing to share my own experience to help their children to excel. Some think that it's easy for me to comment cos DS3 is smart like he doesn't need to do much assessments but for their children, that's a must etc, so how lian lah. If you want to nurture your children, must do it right isn't it? No offence but it's better train your child to be an avid reader than heaping assessment upon assessment on him, right?. Of course grammar rules have to be learned but it'll become rote learning and boring which will result in frustration in the long run. My advice to my students is to read good books such as Charlotte's web. If you are used to reading \"She was tired; they are happy; I'm excited; It has been said, He jogs every morning\" etc. You will know which verb to choose during exams cos it's been impressed in the mind already.Actually, I am sure I am how lian to some people without my own knowledge, or purposely doing so. There's never an intention to put anyone down, but some people get put down easily.
I was told I how lian once because I was giving out my name card to my ex-classmates.... I found it so strange. So, I printed another set of cards, with no designation, and no company name, just my contacts on the blank beige card. Nowadays, I don't even bother to give out name cards, I just ask for theirs and send them an email.
When my boss and/or my hubby introduces me, they tend to overstate my abilities. Nowadays, I keep as silent as possible, I know some jealously will definitely be brewing. Some people don't know that they are just being very nice and I'm not as capable as they made me out to be, so take it easy lah.
If people have the perception that you are how lian, you are no matter what you do or say, you are one. Nowadays, I don't even want to share my recipes anymore, because people might think I'm trying to show my prowess. I thought share share learn learn mah.. but some people think it is show-off.
As for people who appear how lian to me, I tried to rationalize why they are like that, and end up pitying them most of the time. Ha ha. I'd come home and tell DH about what they say and then we'd have a good laugh.
I guess it takes all kinds to make this world a happy and fun place. If all of us are the same, what a boring place this would be. At least, there won't be this thread!
I for one never 'study' English in that sense and DS3 is following my well-trodded path, how lian again :oops: . For us, \"Straits Times\" and \"Readers' Digest\" are must read. I'm aware that there are many other good magazines but having these as staple reading is enough for any child to do well in their English exams.
My :salute: :salute: :salute: :salute: To all of you esp. SAHM. Being on kiasuparents forum means that you are wonderful parents already. :celebrate: :celebrate: -
2ppaamm:
Actually, I am sure I am how lian to some people without my own knowledge, or purposely doing so. There's never an intention to put anyone down, but some people get put down easily.
I was told I how lian once because I was giving out my name card to my ex-classmates.... I found it so strange. So, I printed another set of cards, with no designation, and no company name, just my contacts on the blank beige card. Nowadays, I don't even bother to give out name cards, I just ask for theirs and send them an email.
When my boss and/or my hubby introduces me, they tend to overstate my abilities. Nowadays, I keep as silent as possible, I know some jealously will definitely be brewing. Some people don't know that they are just being very nice and I'm not as capable as they made me out to be, so take it easy lah.
If people have the perception that you are how lian, you are no matter what you do or say, you are one. Nowadays, I don't even want to share my recipes anymore, because people might think I'm trying to show my prowess. I thought share share learn learn mah.. but some people think it is show-off.
As for people who appear how lian to me, I tried to rationalize why they are like that, and end up pitying them most of the time. Ha ha. I'd come home and tell DH about what they say and then we'd have a good laugh.
2ppaamm,
Gosh ... I am sure this is exactly how I am perceived too by some pple and frds. My DH claims that I have a proud bearing and face/look. So he says that might put pple off, esp other females
BTW, what I really find sad is that one or two gal pals whom I have known like since sec 1 have changed so much aft marriage and having kids ... the usu comparing rigmarole etc.. lah.
One silly example is a few weeks ago, was talking to one (galfrd) who has a 9 yr old son. She heard my DS talking (he's 30 mths) and commented that DS can speak well ie full sentences at his age. I made an innocent (really!) remark \"yup, he sure talks alot\". She responded by saying \"ya, but my son is a bigger chatterbox than yours\" :!: So I went \"sure, he's much much more older wat\" in a cheerful manner. There was a pregnant pause cuz I think she realized her blunder but I just brushed it off and resumed the conversation. Maybe next time I shall just say \"thank you\" then :roll: 
Sometimes, I can't even speak abt where I went for hols so freely, I have to filter certain info cuz for example we sometimes we go to beach resorts ie Maldives, Koh Samui and stay in relatively good resorts for at least 4 to 7 days. then I get comments like \"wah so ex ah ... can afford to pay so much wan ah...\" But what they don't see is that we don't go drinking or pubbing every other weekend or take up loans to maintain a high maintainance lifestyle but put aside money for our travels specifically. The thing is, we were the last in our grp of frds to settle down, move out, start a family etc.. They had had a headstart like 2 to 4 yrs before us ....
Even owning the type of car has become an issue. \"Wah Audi ah ... can afford ...\" What do I say? That my DH specifically changed it from a Honda Civic just before DS was born because he believes its a v safe drive/car? Won't ttl up easily in an accident? For those who are familiar abt European made cars, I think you know where he is coming from, these cars tend to be 'heavier'. And that he'll spend weeks of researching the make/model, compare pxs, try to get a good deal b4 purchasing one. Why can't they see that sometimes its NOT about status symbol??? And its not like they are doing badly in life.
Its such a pleasure to be able to SHARE openly abt stuff here in KSP, be it food, hols etc... But then again, many of us are under a shroud of annoymity - my current fav phrase at the moment here. 2ppaamm:
Oh yes, I most certainly agree with you on that, 2ppaamm.I guess it takes all kinds to make this world a happy and fun place. If all of us are the same, what a boring place this would be. At least, there won't be this thread!
I oso like Blobbi's statement:Blobbi:
psssst Blobbi, abt that kopi offer, you let me know if you have anything that I might be interested in .....Sigh. The boasting about kids is the worst. Don't get me wrong - I love it when I can learn from other people like 2ppaamm. There's this nice fuzzy feeling inside when I see other people doing well although it's got nothing to do with me, probably because it's so inspirational.
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tutormum:
No lah, tutormom, pls don't apologise, this is what KSP is for rite, sharing, ranting, learning etc ... even if OT. Didn't do it intentionally wat
Oops, it seems that this thread OT cos of a comment I made earlier. :booboo: Sorry guys. tutormum:
Don't forget yourself hor, tutormomMy :salute: :salute: :salute: :salute: To all of you esp. SAHM. Being on kiasuparents forum means that you are wonderful parents already. :celebrate: :celebrate:
By the way, this may not be a dying topic.
May I please suggest that we create another topic title (I can't think of a suitable one, dying off hunger pangs now :D)
Any other better suggestions??? -
autumnbronze:
I guess we all have to learn to be more careful with our words. Sometimes, words just blurt out. Nowadays, I try to listen more as well. And it is interesting how a situation can have so many perspectives.2ppaamm,
Oh yes, I most certainly agree with you on that, 2ppaamm.
Gosh ... I am sure this is exactly how I am perceived too by some pple and frds. My DH claims that I have a proud bearing and face/look. So he says that might put pple off, esp other females
BTW, what I really find sad is that one or two gal pals whom I have known like since sec 1 have changed so much aft marriage and having kids ... the usu comparing rigmarole etc.. lah.
One silly example is a few weeks ago, was talking to one (galfrd) who has a 9 yr old son. She heard my DS talking (he's 30 mths) and commented that DS can speak well ie full sentences at his age. I made an innocent (really!) remark \"yup, he sure talks alot\". She responded by saying \"ya, but my son is a bigger chatterbox than yours\" :!: So I went \"sure, he's much much more older wat\" in a cheerful manner. There was a pregnant pause cuz I think she realized her blunder but I just brushed it off and resumed the conversation. Maybe next time I shall just say \"thank you\" then :roll:
Sometimes, I can't even speak abt where I went for hols so freely, I have to filter certain info cuz for example we sometimes we go to beach resorts ie Maldives, Koh Samui and stay in relatively good resorts for at least 4 to 7 days. then I get comments like \"wah so ex ah ... can afford to pay so much wan ah...\" But what they don't see is that we don't go drinking or pubbing every other weekend or take up loans to maintain a high maintainance lifestyle but put aside money for our travels specifically. The thing is, we were the last in our grp of frds to settle down, move out, start a family etc.. They had had a headstart like 2 to 4 yrs before us ....
Even owning the type of car has become an issue. \"Wah Audi ah ... can afford ...\" What do I say? That my DH specifically changed it from a Honda Civic just before DS was born because he believes its a v safe drive/car? Won't ttl up easily in an accident? For those who are familiar abt European made cars, I think you know where he is coming from, these cars tend to be 'heavier'. And that he'll spend weeks of researching the make/model, compare pxs, try to get a good deal b4 purchasing one. Why can't they see that sometimes its NOT about status symbol??? And its not like they are doing badly in life.
Its such a pleasure to be able to SHARE openly abt stuff here in KSP, be it food, hols etc... But then again, many of us are under a shroud of annoymity - my current fav phrase at the moment here. 2ppaamm:
I guess it takes all kinds to make this world a happy and fun place. If all of us are the same, what a boring place this would be. At least, there won't be this thread!
I oso like Blobbi's statement:Blobbi:
psssst Blobbi, abt that kopi offer, you let me know if you have anything that I might be interested in .....Sigh. The boasting about kids is the worst. Don't get me wrong - I love it when I can learn from other people like 2ppaamm. There's this nice fuzzy feeling inside when I see other people doing well although it's got nothing to do with me, probably because it's so inspirational.
Don't want to be branded how lian. One thing I must learn is how to speak so people don't think I am. Because, I really don't think I am anything big deal. Just a human who has been forgiven, that's all. -
2ppaamm:
If I have figured it out correctly, one way not to sound \"out of the spectrum\" is to speak with like-minded people, i.e. background, children's abilities, interest etc... From time to time also need to do a check to see if they remain like-minded or not. This can avoid some blunders.
Don't want to be branded how lian. One thing I must learn is how to speak so people don't think I am. Because, I really don't think I am anything big deal. Just a human who has been forgiven, that's all. -
ks2me:
Great tips. But I need more info. How do you check to see if they remain like-minded or not?
If I have figured it out correctly, one way not to sound \"out of the spectrum\" is to speak with like-minded people, i.e. background, children's abilities, interest etc... From time to time also need to do a check to see if they remain like-minded or not. This can avoid some blunders.2ppaamm:
Don't want to be branded how lian. One thing I must learn is how to speak so people don't think I am. Because, I really don't think I am anything big deal. Just a human who has been forgiven, that's all.
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