All About Autism
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TamAma.
I feel for u…
I’m a single mom, single income , maid no mother(granny) or MIL to help out or fall back …
I work from 9 to 6, fetch my son by 7pm , pack dinner , bath my son eat dinner , wash dishes n already 1030, pack son next day school bag…
This are my daily bz routine.
Weekend I do house work n do laundry …
My salary is just enough to meet dead end n pay son full day childcare…bank almost zero Every month .
I got noting left for private therapy…
I already myself is a therapist as always learn tactics from mummies here …
My son school stil don’t know about my son condition …
School 100% will reject when I tell them the true… So I give up telling.
Thankfully my son don’t have behavior n sensory issue for now. He plays w kids , listen to instructions , see friends do what he do what , peer imitations … Follow routine in school well . The only issue is he communication…
He know how to go toilet himself n request what he want from teachers …motor imitation is better now…
Most importantly kids must have enough rest to optimal their potential …
A lot of therapist n not enough rest they can’t absorb …
He use to go rainbow but always very drowsy n sleepy n tired because he did not nap properly … As rainbow is v constrain for their classes schedule n it’s barely 2hrs for all the trouble to there no choice n that’s their constraints …
Rainbow is good for those kids who have maid or other family member to help when the main care giver is at work…
I have feedback to them already they understand but too bad that’s how they can manage now … -
Tamama
I agree with belachanbabe that since it is only the third day, give yourself more time. Continue to communicate more with school as what u have been doing. Perhaps things are not as bad as u thought it is. Sincerely hope that your son will be accepted by path light
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Tamama
During the time when my doter was 5 yo, I took one year to look for a mainstream cc for her. At that time, I wanted my doter to have some interactions with the NT peers and learn some social skills.
It was a tough year. Call after call. Visit after visit. its either rejection, no vacancies, fees were exorbitantly high, or just something which didnt fit right. So much so that one day I penned this while tearing in the MRT train.
天地之大，竟无我容身之处
It truly reflected my despair at that point of time. After a year of much pain, we finally found one center for her. One the first day of my doter going to the center, I followed her and saw that she was able to adapt well. So I penned this.
寻寻觅觅，终于有了着落。一整年的心血，总算没有白费。心存感激和欣慰。
It was a true reflection of my relief and gratefulness at that time.
Just wanted to share my ups and downs during that period. It may look like there is no light at the end of the tunnel now, but it will come to pass. In the midst of all this unknown, always remember that you are part of the equation as well. If you feel despair, vent it out, find a shoulder to cry on, fall back on your spouse or family, do something to clear your mind. Take a short break and find your own compass.
When you have a higher energy level you may find that you will have a more positive perspective. All the best. :hugs: -
helplessmum3:
:snuggles: helplessmum3
I'm a single mom, single income , maid no mother(granny) or MIL to help out or fall back ..
I know it's not been easy but you have persisted to try to make a better life for yourself and your son. And that is admirable.
On money
Sometimes, all the money and therapies may not help a child if the child does not want to be helped, or if the parents have poor & negative attitude towards the child.
Whilst we worry about our finances, do what you can for your child within your means. One step at a time.
It's ok if you can't send your son to all the therapies. Just focus on one therapy. Or if you can't, then learn from books/Internet/forummers and try to do the same at home.
On therapies
Who doesn't want to expose the asd child to OT, speech therapy, music therapy, etc.... for early intervention. But even with all the money in the world, one also needs time to send the child too.
Again, one step at a time. If resources are lacking, then replace a therapy with a similar activity.
Music therapy - let the child listen to Mediacorp Symphony 92.4FM (classical radio station). Or buy the Mozart Effect CD and play the CD in the background whenever u are both at home
OT - let the child play in the playground or go swimming
SLT - read to the child every day - no matter how tired you are. 15 mins also better than nothing. It's a nice quiet bonding time to wind down the day before he goes to sleep
On disclosure
If u don't feel comfortable telling teachers/school/friends/family that your child is on the spectrum, then DON'T. My belief is to tell on a needs to basis. If I feel that this other person can't help my child nor is this person supportive or understanding, I don't have to tell you my problems - even if you are a family member.
What you want is to surround yourself with positive energy - people who are understanding and supportive. Not people who make you feel lousy at the end of the day.
On speech delay
As for his speech and language development, sometimes, it could be a delay. Just continue to read to him and converse with him. It's hard work, especially after a long work day and housework in the evenings - but persist at it. The rewards will come.
Bring him to the library on weekends. I know you have to do household chores, but find some time to go to the library. It's good for both of you - mommy/son bonding time and also for you to get out of the house.
Some kids are delayed in their speech development. I know of a child who only started talking properly at 5yo. Parents were worried and sent the child for speech therapy. In the end, it was found out that the child was just nervous and lacked the confidence to speak. By the time the child was 7yo, could not stop talking. Yak yak yak. Child is a teenager now and in the drama club in school.
Take one day at a time. Sometimes when you think you have no strength left, you will be surprised that you have just enough to carry on and take the next step. A mother's love knows no boundaries. Whatever it is, don't give up and don't stop beliving that your son will get better.
Celebrate his little achievements and victories. Remember to take care of yourself too, so that you can take care of your son. When u are happy, your son will be too. -
Thanks belachanbabe, helplessmum3, jme, ImMeeMee for your kind words and well wishes. My heart feels lighter after reading all of your posts. Smoke gets in my eyes when I read ImMeeMee’s reply. Yeah just the same feeling, despair and heartbroken.
I never dare to dig deeply into my negative feeling, cos crying and bad feeling make me slow down in thinking and reaction. I still need to be strong on every days chaos and tasks. I switch my focus to other things purposely. Huh, so ironic. Long time ago I was a psychiatric nurse, having skills and theories to help the mental patients including depressed ones. One skill is to dig deeply on the issue and let the patient to ventilate as much as possible. Sigh…
My family and relatives are not in singapore. So we are practically on our own. I am ft mom, sounds good right? Sigh… Basically it means no holiday. I learn to count my blessings, so I feel less despair. But, like a scar on my heart, it bleeds and hurts sometime.
I have called the school to set up meeting for me and the principal. But she said it’s better to do it few weeks later. They would like to observe my boy first. I suggested to write to her via email then. Let’s see what will come…
Thanks everyone again. It’s really good to know I am not that lonely on this path. -
Happy 2014!
My first attempt to pen my thoughts on special kids. My dear son who is turning 4 in March is developmentally delayed with ASD traits. Have been changing school since 18 mths and just started new kindy last week. Calling up schools every 6 months and explaining his conditions, hoping to be given a chance is nothing new. It has been an extremely challenging journey and we had our fair share of good/bad encounters with educators/schools/therapists. We praise the lord for each and every positive encounters and thank the lord for the learning opportunities when things didn’t’ go our way we would like them to be. No tears? Impossible! There are many occasions that I cried myself to sleep and woke up with teary eyes.
In this brand new year, I pray for all mothers to be given more strength to walk alongside our children and to handle each and every challenge with a smile! Our precious ones might be the shorter end of a stick but they are nonetheless, God’s masterpiece and our most adored gem :xedfingers:
:lovesite: -
tabgha , thank u very much !
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helplessmum3:
HelplessmumTamAma.
I feel for u..
I'm a single mom, single income , maid no mother(granny) or MIL to help out or fall back ..
I work from 9 to 6, fetch my son by 7pm , pack dinner , bath my son eat dinner , wash dishes n already 1030, pack son next day school bag..
This are my daily bz routine.
Weekend I do house work n do laundry ..
My salary is just enough to meet dead end n pay son full day childcare..bank almost zero Every month .
I got noting left for private therapy..
I already myself is a therapist as always learn tactics from mummies here ..
My son school stil don't know about my son condition ..
School 100% will reject when I tell them the true.. So I give up telling.
Thankfully my son don't have behavior n sensory issue for now. He plays w kids , listen to instructions , see friends do what he do what , peer imitations .. Follow routine in school well . The only issue is he communication..
He know how to go toilet himself n request what he want from teachers ..motor imitation is better now..
Most importantly kids must have enough rest to optimal their potential ..
A lot of therapist n not enough rest they can't absorb ..
He use to go rainbow but always very drowsy n sleepy n tired because he did not nap properly .. As rainbow is v constrain for their classes schedule n it's barely 2hrs for all the trouble to there no choice n that's their constraints ..
Rainbow is good for those kids who have maid or other family member to help when the main care giver is at work..
I have feedback to them already they understand but too bad that's how they can manage now ..
Looks like your son is coping well and doing well. In that case ,you don't have to worry so much about the communication. Is quite remarkable of him to be able to do all these without therapies, try to focus on his strengths (in fact I think he has many) and not his weakness. In fact, if there are no negative feedback from the CC, you don't even have to declare your child's condition to them.
Think of it this way, even NT kids have issues be it behaviour, confidence, academic etc. No kid is perfect in all ways. IF you can look at it from this angle, I am sure u will feel happier. -
Helplessmum3,
Your son sounds good to me.
If you say he only needs to improve more on communication, his problem is not big. He just needs more time to catch up with communication. I think he can do it. Praise him for every little improvement.
Mommy is always the first teacher to their kids. Private therapy is good, but if cannot afford it (yeah in singapore the therapies are always so costy, so crazy and unfair for us to afford), there are other ways for us to learn to do it ourselves. A determined mom with positive attitude will be the best companion and teacher for our kids to develop their full potentials.
We are in the time that seems like our kids future are full of uncertainties. We have to wait for some years, may be decades to be able to see a clearer picture. Hang on there, keep fighting for our kids. This is what a mother’s mission to our specially blessed kids. -
thanks double 4, thanks tamama
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