Just 5 Things... to Keep The Romance in Our Marriage Alive
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peapot:
Wow! Buds, are you a SAHM?
Yes i am, peapot. Still quite the alive and kicking SAHM to date.
Planning to go back to work.peapot:
I don't think so la.. but i am making effort and hope i am doing a goodIf you are, you really know how to keep the romance alive.
job at it.
I read about it somewhere that men lovvvve the occasional attention.
I chanced upon it on another forum.. men describing what they like
the girls they paid for, do to them that their wives wouldn't wanna do.
Since i think it so shallow to pay for such fantasies.. i used the x-rated
stuff they write there to the best of my advantage. It is sick reading how
some of these men have wives who don't know and some are true blue
professionals like doctors and lawyers (etc). Must be decent chaps looking
for some kinky excitement from their straight lives. So to keep my man
and his fantasies in check... that i too can be his fantasy. Albeit the
plumper version.
peapot:
No! Dun let the maid do it! :lol: Hehee.. i'm kidding. My house oso small.I've never thought of showering my hubby??!!! Maybe its because I have a maid at home and my house is so small!!
Some more got ILs leh. So go get your maid running some errands for a
bit while you finish up your act. :evil: I used loofahs as well in my butler
service, heheh.. those nice scratchy sponges to scrub backs.. we have that.
Helps with skin exfoliation.
peapot:
Trust me.. i worry too.I worry too much!!
peapot:
I started it first. Even my kiddies are into writing notes. I like them to openYour hubby is also very appreciative to write such loving notes.
up their thoughts and feelings and not go into the mode of not speaking
to one another for long. Whatever we cannot say out or express in words
just write it down.. can be a miss you nite, apology letter... or i was hurt
kinda note.. anything... just let the words flow on paper.peapot:
All my best. :hugs:Now I go dispense this info to my galfriend who is also a SAHM. She's always complaining Hubby and her not so close as before.
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5 Things To Keep The Romance In Your Marriage Come Alive (Part 1)
In Part 1, these are the 5 things that do not need money to play the part.
Just a lot of tender loving care that comes sincerely from the heart. :love:
Here's sharing some of the stuff i've done for / with buds hubs... and vice
versa.
1. The Works
Being a stay-home-mum, we sometimes forget to appreciate the fact that
at least one person works to keep the household running, the family fed,
and the savings clicking in that piggy. Both staying home and working has
its fair shares of stress and should not be compared especially not open
verbal confrontation. Issues like these will see no end. Having chosen to
play the individual roles that we play, we should actually in fact support
one another through our journeys be it tribulations or in sheer happiness.
I surprised him one day after work doing the works. Not the kind what's
in all your humsup filled brain waves. :lol: But more to the appreciation
works. Butler service if i may call it.
The minute he came back that day, he looked worn. But he managed a
smile on his lips for me. As usual, we held each other in embrace and i
do remember him lifting me up a lil' too and giving me that little spin
while our lips are still interlocked in our welcome home kiss. I asked.
\"Bad day?\" \"Kinda... but i don't want to talk about it. My head is aching
just thinking about it.\" Without a word, i removed all the buttons on his
shirt from the top to the bottom... he gave me a weird look... like this
.
I unbuckled his belt and pulled it off his pants gently and proceeded to
pull it down completely. I even removed his socks to which he bent down
to stop me but i said i insist. He let me... unwillingly. I removed his watch.
Then, placed it on his watch box. I held one of his hands leading him to our
bathroom. I specifically placed a newly opened air freshener inside and it
smelt nice especially after a clean-scrubbed toilet. Our bathroom was too
small to fit a tub so i got him to sit on our IKEA stool and told him i will give
him a rub down. I ran the shower (slightly warm) and rinsed his body. I
turned off the shower thereafter and began the rub down from his head.
I always loved how the hair dressers in the salon give me a good hair
wash and i'd feel so good and happy after that. So, that was what i gave
him. I started with a hair spa... gentle finger strokes to calm his aching
head filled with work... working the neck and stiff shoulder blades from
the sitting down doing paperwork.. then i worked downwards to his spine,
both arms right till the fingers. He remained silent throughout. After i was
done, i whispered to him.. \"I'll shower you today.\" He nodded.
I stripped him off his briefs and gave him a light massage kinda shower,
cleaned him thoroughly and dried him up. I told him to lie down while i
went to get something. I came back to the bed with his favourite minty
ointment and told him to relax. I gave him a foot reflexology. He was
silent throughout the finger pressing his soles, toes and heels. I also
gave some light massage on his spine, shoulder blades, neck and head.
Lastly i did his arms and his hands. After i finished, i told him to relax a
bit while i get dinner ready. The kids were both in school. So i thought
we'd eat early together before they got back. He nodded and smiled at
me.
I specially prepared his favourite chicken rice and veggie soup that day...
We chatted for awhile as we ate about what movie to watch next date nite.
And some other mundane stuff. We finished dinner and fruits. Hubs then
told me to shower while he offered to clear up the kitchen for me. So that
we could then spend a while more before the kids got back from school...
After my shower, we turned on the aircon and cuddled together suddenly
just spurred on by memories of blast from the past. I forgot who started
it. Might have been me... I may have asked whether he could imagine
me showering him back then in school. He said he was happy even when
i was mean to him a lot during those years cos it meant i was responding
to him.. One thing led to another and we shared many laughs over our
teenage sillies.
It was time to fetch the kiddies from school transport. I offered to go down
to pick them up. Before i could leave the room, he tugged gently at my arm
and he said, \"Thank you for everything today.. this is precisely why you
are the love of my life.. i love you.. come back up quickly ok.. i'm missing
you oredi.\"
Fast forward to the next day, hubs left me a note on my work table beside
the bed. It read, \"My dearest wifey baby... i will be missing you a lot today.
I'm sure i will not be able to stop thinking of you all through work today...
Just watching you sleep gives me a sense of peace.. that you are going
to be here when i get back. The house is super clean yesterday... yes i
noticed... i'm sure you must've have spent some time cleaning up every
thing by yourself.. Dinner was lovely as usual and chatting with you about
old times sure brings back memories.. I love you, baby. Can't wait to see
you later...\"
Love, your hubby..
2. The Works
The 2nd part of the works is on household. Since i am the SAHM, chores
are supposed to be my territory. My duties since i chose to stay home, i
gotta do what home-makers do... albeit it being more than an office hour
job i later realized.. :politebleah: Hubs shooshed me out for an off day wif
my girlfriends which i excitedly did. For once, he didn't call me in between
my time outside (he likes to do that : how far are you from home or are
you coming back soon). You see.. i've always been the trusting wife kind.
Naive to some cos they say men don't deserve 100% trust. Just like how
i dun like him calling me when i'm out on my retreat day, i also NEVER
called him to ever interrupt and ask him to get back fast. To me, he works
hard and he is entitled to his off days just being out with the boys. In fact,
when he calls to say the guys are swinging by for late nite coffee and he
should be back by midnight, i tell him no hurry... eveything's good at home,
all chores done, kids finished homework and already tucked in to bed..
I'll tell him dun come back so early. His friends wud laugh at him and
say, see your wifey so understanding and yet you worry.. she some
more say dun come back so early... Their wives usually either follow
them or when they don't follow they will text their husbands A LOT.
I had a great day... hehee.. and night... with my girlfriends and really
had a fantastic time catching up and unwind. I reached back around like
after 1am and walked softly in.. i felt the floors all squeaky clean... the
fresh laundry all hung up and smelling great... the kitchen scrubbed...
the leftovers kept in the fridge... the kiddies' homework all completed..
there were even some assessments for me to mark.. the kiddies diaries
were open to the page the wrote about their day... and i saw books on
the kiddies' beds and they were already looking peacefully asleep. Oh
wow! I'm blown away... he even read to the girls. :love: He usually does
not like to cos he says reading to them makes him yawn a lot and feel
sleepy, even when he's not.
I went into the room, (room smells fresh too) and saw the night light on
(so it wasn't too dark for me to see) with him seemingly oredi asleep....
Why seemingly, cos when i tried to kiss his forehead... he pulled me close
to his body for a hug and said.. \"I missed you.. hope you had fun. Every
thing is done.. now just go shower and cuddle with me to tell me about ur
day out with your friends..\" :hugs:
When we were almost going to fall asleep, he whispers, \"Oh yeah... dun
need to cook tomorrow. I'm taking us out for breakfast and a trip to
Sentosa for some sea and sand fun. We'll chill out together tomorrow with
the girls. I think they'd love it when i break the surprise tomorrow..\"
I just smiled happily and replied, \"Thank you for being such a thoughtful
husband.. i noticed you had all my work done for me. And thank you for
being the loving father to our girls. Yes, i am very sure they'd be screaming
tomorrow when you break the news. Goodnight, baby..\"
Aaah... what bliss right. :love:
The only thing that spoiled that night was the nosey peeking MIL
who gave me the tsk tsk look when i opened the front door.. :roll:
I am very sure she disliked hubs finishing up the household chores
& the children all by himself (cos she claims her own husband was
never like that.. so husbands shouldn't be like that lest appear hen
pecked) She glanced at the clock at my entrance, shook her head,
rolled her eyes and shut the door again.
But hey, heck it lah hor... i had a great time. :celebrate:
Here in Pt 2 is the thoughtfulness of a spouse and the suprise factor
wasn't even something that needed to be purchased. Again, tender
loving care... and sincerely from the heart... and most importantly
to tankee, doesn't need to lean towards or lead to sex... lest he'd
find it an overkill on the pressure to perform.
That day, schweppes... i started out my girls' day out with a wide
smile and it sure ended with a deep satisfied sigh. :lol: This was the man
i wanted to fall in love with and be in love with every single day of my life. :romance: -
buds:
... know what u mean, sista, know what u mean :lol:
That day, schweppes... i started out my girls' day out with a wide
smile and it sure ended with a deep satisfied sigh. :lol: This was the man
i wanted to fall in love with and be in love with every single day of my life. :romance:
It's the little things that count that make a difference :hugs: -
And (some) men always like to say...
\"Tsk.. women. They're so hard to please.\" :roll: -
To me, one of the most important thing in a good marriage is having your own personal space. In all my 15 years of marriage, neither my DH nor I ever felt stifled. We have a lot of breathing space. We have our own separate rooms and toilets , our things are kept separately.
We are never suspicious of each other’s activites. We are homely people who don’t go out separately if there is no need to. We just go to work and come home after that. Clubbing and chilling out are non-existent in our world. I trust him so much that i don’t ask him why if he comes back late from work (which fortunately is infrequent). Sometimes ignorance is bliss.
Honestly, i feel he is still the same as when we were dating. -
buds:
Thanks so much for sharing this buds.5 Things To Keep The Romance In Your Marriage Come Alive (Part 1)
2. The Works
The 2nd part of the works is on household. Since i am the SAHM, chores
are supposed to be my territory. My duties since i chose to stay home, i
gotta do what home-makers do... albeit it being more than an office hour
job i later realized.. :politebleah: Hubs shooshed me out for an off day wif
my girlfriends which i excitedly did. For once, he didn't call me in between
my time outside (he likes to do that : how far are you from home or are
you coming back soon). You see.. i've always been the trusting wife kind.
Naive to some cos they say men don't deserve 100% trust. Just like how
i dun like him calling me when i'm out on my retreat day, i also NEVER
called him to ever interrupt and ask him to get back fast. To me, he works
hard and he is entitled to his off days just being out with the boys. In fact,
when he calls to say the guys are swinging by for late nite coffee and he
should be back by midnight, i tell him no hurry... eveything's good at home,
all chores done, kids finished homework and already tucked in to bed..
I'll tell him dun come back so early. His friends wud laugh at him and
say, see your wifey so understanding and yet you worry.. she some
more say dun come back so early... Their wives usually either follow
them or when they don't follow they will text their husbands A LOT.
I had a great day... hehee.. and night... with my girlfriends and really
had a fantastic time catching up and unwind. I reached back around like
after 1am and walked softly in.. i felt the floors all squeaky clean... the
fresh laundry all hung up and smelling great... the kitchen scrubbed...
the leftovers kept in the fridge... the kiddies' homework all completed..
there were even some assessments for me to mark.. the kiddies diaries
were open to the page the wrote about their day... and i saw books on
the kiddies' beds and they were already looking peacefully asleep. Oh
wow! I'm blown away... he even read to the girls. :love: He usually does
not like to cos he says reading to them makes him yawn a lot and feel
sleepy, even when he's not.
I went into the room, (room smells fresh too) and saw the night light on
(so it wasn't too dark for me to see) with him seemingly oredi asleep....
Why seemingly, cos when i tried to kiss his forehead... he pulled me close
to his body for a hug and said.. \"I missed you.. hope you had fun. Every
thing is done.. now just go shower and cuddle with me to tell me about ur
day out with your friends..\" :hugs:
When we were almost going to fall asleep, he whispers, \"Oh yeah... dun
need to cook tomorrow. I'm taking us out for breakfast and a trip to
Sentosa for some sea and sand fun. We'll chill out together tomorrow with
the girls. I think they'd love it when i break the surprise tomorrow..\"
I just smiled happily and replied, \"Thank you for being such a thoughtful
husband.. i noticed you had all my work done for me. And thank you for
being the loving father to our girls. Yes, i am very sure they'd be screaming
tomorrow when you break the news. Goodnight, baby..\"
Aaah... what bliss right. :love:
The only thing that spoiled that night was the nosey peeking MIL
who gave me the tsk tsk look when i opened the front door.. :roll:
I am very sure she disliked hubs finishing up the household chores
& the children all by himself (cos she claims her own husband was
never like that.. so husbands shouldn't be like that lest appear hen
pecked) She glanced at the clock at my entrance, shook her head,
rolled her eyes and shut the door again.
But hey, heck it lah hor... i had a great time. :celebrate:
Here in Pt 2 is the thoughtfulness of a spouse and the suprise factor
wasn't even something that needed to be purchased. Again, tender
loving care... and sincerely from the heart... and most importantly
to tankee, doesn't need to lean towards or lead to sex... lest he'd
find it an overkill on the pressure to perform.
That day, schweppes... i started out my girls' day out with a wide
smile and it sure ended with a deep satisfied sigh. :lol: This was the man
i wanted to fall in love with and be in love with every single day of my life. :romance:
DH used to help me with housewk b4 maid and child came along when I was working. Now, when he feels that I feel that I need a day out, be it alone or with galfrds or even to spend some time alone at home doing my own things, he will tell me asssuringly, \"go, go, I will take care of DS.\" He did that last wkend, bring DS for car viewing and feeding him lunch at cafe etc...so that I could indulge at home (like logging in to KSP :!:) without any interruptions. Only drawback was that because DS out the whole day, aftnoon nap spoiled, then at nite cranky and throw tantrums, waking up in the nite etc .... :lol:
U know what, am gonna text him now with a nice sweet loving appreciative msg as a form of saying thank you. Not that I don't thank him ... but just feeling nice and warm towards him rite now :love: -
Wow carebear! After reading your post here and the post in maids thread, I realised you must be living in a big house!! Both your hubby and you have your own separate rooms and toilets???!!
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curious, carebear, why is different bath rooms good? Different closets, I can understand…
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2ppaamm:
curious, carebear, why is different bath rooms good? Different closets, I can understand...
If don't aim properly, will make a mess, and can lead to squabbles!peapot:
No, not a big house lah.Wow carebear! After reading your post here and the post in maids thread, I realised you must be living in a big house!! Both your hubby and you have your own separate rooms and toilets???!!
Just a masionette.
Each of the 3 rooms has a toilet.
So my DH uses the closet and toilet in his study, i use the one in the master bedroom. -
carebear:
For me, hubs and i take unspoken initiatives to scrub the toilet.. so i have2ppaamm:
curious, carebear, why is different bath rooms good? Different closets, I can understand...
If don't aim properly, will make a mess, and can lead to squabbles!
no issues with regards to this. Even the kiddies' help out too. :hugs:peapot:
Cheh.. bigger than most lah..
No, not a big house lah.carebear:
Wow carebear! After reading your post here and the post in maids thread, I realised you must be living in a big house!! Both your hubby and you have your own separate rooms and toilets???!!
Just a masionette.
Each of the 3 rooms has a toilet.
So my DH uses the closet and toilet in his study, i use the one in the master bedroom.
Bigger than mine for one.
Luckily no need to share with ILs! :!: :lol:
But definitely cannot be bigger than 2ppaamm's.
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