When your child wants this and that...

[wwcookie]

I will usually buy the toys myself as my son seldom asks for them, even if he likes them - he'll just play with the toy in the store then put it back on the shelf without asking me to buy. I have told him it's ok to want to buy a toy once in a while. Now, we are saving up to buy a WII console - he will save part of his pocket money everyday and pay for half the price with the other half paid by me

[ZacK]

Today is my son's birthday and he'll be receiving $30 from me to buy anything he wants with the money.


I've explained to him that he can put the money in the piggy bank at home and accumulate lots of $30 dollars (to be given only at other special occasions) in the event he wants to buy something which is of a higher value.

I think so far he has no problems with this arrangement as I have tried this on him when he wanted to get some stuff from the supermarket and I only gave him a limit of $3 then.

[ZacK]

Just to share an incident that happened last night. I have two action figurines of Spiderman and Ironman who have their place on my desk at work.


Brought them home after I changed job 2 months back and let my son toy with them before I decide if I wanted them at my new workplace. This was my conversation with son:
me: papa is going to bring spiderman to office tomorrow.
son: but i like spiderman...
me : but spiderman and ironman belongs to papa and I'm letting you play with ironman still...
son : but i like both.... (giving me the puppy eyed look)

It went on a little longer where he insisted that he wanted to play with both of my figurines... In exasperation, I gave up and told him that he was being very selfish and walked away from the living room and went to our study to surf the web.

A little while later... He creeped up outside the study and pushed his magnetic board into the room.. On it he wrote \"I love papa\" and drew lots of hearts around it and right at the bottom of the board he drew a sad face with tears trickling down. Sigh... I stretched open my arms and he immediately ran into my arms and almost immediately he started sobbing and started saying I love you papa. My heart melted instantly at that moment. I told him at he was being silly, I was not angry with him and that he did not have to feel bad.

Well guess what ... He'll be getting to keep my two figurines with him at home indefinitely... But at least I know that I'm willingly letting him keep them

[Luanee]

Ahh Zack, what a touching scene…


My daughter wanted a Baby Alive toy (cost $90) so we told her to wait till her birthday, hoping she would have changed her mind by then. Unfortunately she didnt and now the toy is sitting at the side gathering dust.

Recently my mil asked us to get a $300 Nintendo for my daughter becoz she got it for her other grandkids and wanted to do so for all the rest as well. I wanted to refuse initially coz I do not want her to get used to getting such expensive toys but then I realised she be really left out if all her other cousins have it too. Talked to my colleagues about it and realised all of their kids have Nintendo too! Fainted…

[jedamum]

Luanee:

then I realised she be really left out if all her other cousins have it too. .

If in the same scenerio, I wouldn't get one for my boy just so that he will not be 'left out'. Others will always have something that we don't have, and if that thing is a luxury item, then we can take it as a teaching opportunity. This 'being left-out' issue if not tackle correctly, may result in tendency to give in to peer pressure or on the other extreme end, it may result in the kid being view as being 'odd-one-out'.

I'm also still learning too!

[ZacK]

Luanee:

Ahh Zack, what a touching scene.....


My daughter wanted a Baby Alive toy (cost $90) so we told her to wait till her birthday, hoping she would have changed her mind by then. Unfortunately she didnt and now the toy is sitting at the side gathering dust.

Recently my mil asked us to get a $300 Nintendo for my daughter becoz she got it for her other grandkids and wanted to do so for all the rest as well. I wanted to refuse initially coz I do not want her to get used to getting such expensive toys but then I realised she be really left out if all her other cousins have it too. Talked to my colleagues about it and realised all of their kids have Nintendo too! Fainted.........

Thanks I guess my son knows how to have his way wif me yeah :lol:

So far I have not fallen for need to keep up with the Jones... As what jedamum stated there will always be something that others have and we dont have given many different family situations. That is part of the reason why my son does not have a nintendo game yet.

On the contrary, i feel that he (my son) is already so blessed becos of what we can give him. I have a friend wif 2 kids (older son is 8 and younger girl is 5) she does not earn much. She also does not get much support emotionally and financially from her husband as well :x

Anyway her girl can barely read (still struggles with ABCs) compared with kids her age. As both parents are not highly educated nor conversant in english. I am hoping to convince my son to give up some of his books that are obviously too easy for him now so that I can pass them over to this girl.

This example has reinforced to me that there will never be equality in society. So why bother to put as a goal or priority for us to be the same or if not better than others

For many I guess when we compare we choose to compare with people in a better situation/plight than us... When ones dreams and pursuits are to keep up with the Jones, my personal take is that we will lead a very miserable life.

I am also not saying that we should not strive for a better life but the comparison I make is always with myself and my current situation/environment and not that of others. By doing so, I find that I have many reasons to be joyful about and contented with my current environment.

I hope to be able to bring my son out to visit kids who are less fortunate than him so that he appreciates the things that he has around him and hopefully instill in him the value of having empathy for others who are less fortunate.

P/s have to apologise if i sound a little long-winded over this... Still in office and just type what is in my mind :oops:

[Luanee]

jedamum:

If in the same scenerio, I wouldn't get one for my boy just so that he will not be 'left out'. Others will always have something that we don't have, and if that thing is a luxury item, then we can take it as a teaching opportunity. This 'being left-out' issue if not tackle correctly, may result in tendency to give in to peer pressure or on the other extreme end, it may result in the kid being view as being 'odd-one-out'. I'm also still learning too!

Yeah I agree on that, actually if not for my mil, I doubt I would have bought a Nitendo for her anyway.

One thing I have managed not to succumb to 'peer pressure' yet is those big-scale kids birthday parties. My daughter always wanted to have one becoz her cousins do. I would tell her no, it's very expensive, mummy does not have as much money as your cousin's mummy, so only small family parties for u. Hee... hope to remain that way...

[sashimi]

Ah good, time to rant.


(Post not intended to offend anyone, just a friendly rant.

I would like to loudly *admonish* those parents and kids who have brandished nintendos and PSPs in front of my daughter, esp. on the train. Even while waiting for ballet class! And sometimes it's the parent who's playing! -_-

I am grateful that, to date, my daughter has never asked me for one of these things.

But I think it's just a matter of time. Secretly, I blame the adults who spoil their kids (starting as early as age 5 as far as i can tell) with PSPs.

While I think that becoming addicted to handhelds is detrimental to kids at this age, whenever I see my daughter watching other kids playing with them, I feel fearful of the day she'll ask me for one - and feel bad, because the answer will be NO, nyet, iie, buay sai.

So please, if you have to play your PSPs in public, stay far far away from my family!

Please stop creating envy and distraction in young kids, for things they do not need!

[End rant - please excuse my irrational rambling... ]

[Poonie]

This is how I explain to my kids and it has worked.


I’ve explained to my kids that listening to songs/music using headsets will cause hearing problems when they are older and I’ve also pointed out to them near-accidents as a result of teenagers who cross roads while using ipod cause they could not hear approaching traffic. Hence they understand the reason why they should not have it.

As for Gameboy etc, I explained to them that such close proximity to the screen for long period of time will spoil their eye sight. I have shown them how they will not be able to do many things or participate in many sports if they wear glasses. I also prefer my kids to play with each other for bonding. They often play pretend and this helps to polish up their speech (I don’t have to send them to drama class) and creativity.

[ChiefKiasu]

Poonie:

...I also prefer my kids to play with each other for bonding. They often play pretend and this helps to polish up their speech (I don't have to send them to drama class) and creativity.

My kids' \"bonding time\" will invariably degenerate into a series of \"It's mine\"... \"Mine!\"... \"mine!\"... \"mine!\" before climaxing into an orgy of crying and calls for parental justice. So I guess they get head start in learning about how to manipulate the legal system to win their case.