Neither borrowers nor lenders nor both be ....
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well, family can be the worst ‘offenders’. I have relatives - parents’ siblings who would think nothing of borrowing from my parents. And then, make partial payment and happily forgot about the rest.
My parents use their hands and sweat to toil and earn those money. I cannot imagine how come some (only a few bad sheep - heng ah) can think to leech on them liddat.
Anyway, my parents have grown wiser and less accomodating…so those leeches have about disappeared from our lives. Quite sad when pp are so practical also - when the gravy train dries up, so do their visits. -
I totally subscribe to the saying, including the guarantor part.
Learned my lesson earlier on. I used to lend without the intention of ever getting the money back. But these friends will still disappear cos they are afraid that I will ask them for the money if we were to meet up.
For those who are really in need, like husband no job while wife is a SAHM, I help by giving them NTUC vouchers now and then. But I will not lend any money. -
Used to have a uncle too who gambles and landed himself into jail. Once, he wanted to borrow $ from me via my mum. I told my mum that if that is for gambling… forget it. I am not going to support his vice with my hard earned $.
But he has since changed, got married to a great lady (a nurse he met at nursing home where my grandfather stayed) and is very filial to my grandparents (late 80’s) as they stay with him. Financially he is ok (normal can survive type). Recently I thought to myself, in the even that my grandparents pass on one day and he need me to contribute more to the cost, I think I would most likely agree. -
only to siblings.
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I have a BIL who used to leech on DH. After card or majong sessions he would shamelessly come and ‘borrow’ coz he forgot to bring wallet…blah
When we outside he will ask DH for $ even at foodcourt.
I think more like ‘habitual’ chow kuan, I called my DH ‘sucker’.
Then the soccer bets got into thousands and BIL kept asking, ‘borrowing’ on behalf of phantom friends till my DH cannot tahan.
DH settled the debts, and sent him off to work overseas for good.
Till today my DH think I m ignorant to all that and still want to paint a nice picture for BIL.
The $ was never returned, I will be happy if there is no more ‘borrowing’. :x -
This thought just came to me ...
As parents, what/how do you tell/teach your kids with regards to this topic. I am sure at one point of time or the other, they may have also borrowed/lent money/stuff from frds etc ...
I am afraid I can't share as DS is only 2 and a half ....
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I believe most of us only lend to family which IMHO is fine as we know their financial status. I would not chase for repayment and write it off. That's what family is for. Of course, for those mean SIL, no way.
I also give in subtle ways like buying gifts and giving red packets during festivals so as not to embarrass them. :love: -
autumnbronze:
My son (P1 then) lent his powerful yoyo to a boy from another class. When he asked for it, that boy claimed that :This thought just came to me ...
As parents, what/how do you tell/teach your kids with regards to this topic. I am sure at one point of time or the other, they may have also borrowed/lent money/stuff from frds etc ...
* He has returned
* He has loaned it to another boy
Well... the story is he never did and he even scratch my son's hand.
We told him to learn to handle it. Either tell his teacher or take this as a learning experience. Don't anyhow lend things to people. Particularly to people he don't even know. He need to learn how to \"evaluate\" his friends before trusting them. I think this is life skills. -
My own experience is that if you lend out something, you may not get it back, so be mentally prepared to \"lose\" it. Never lend something that you cannot afford to \"lose\". If you press the lender to return the things, you may offend him/her or if it is damaged or lost or cannot be returned (eg money), it is going to break the ties or friendship. So why not give the goodwill to \"write off\" what you cannot get back by coercion, and still keep the ties or friendship, but remember never to lend $ or stuffs again to the same person.
One friend once did this to avoid \"loss\" because of lending. When someone says your CD is nice and wants to lend it, ask him/her to lend you back another CD in return. Applies to anything else. Eg. if someone ask to borrow money from you, ask them to leave something valuable for your safekeeping (but of course don't ask to keep their personal stuffs such as IC or Passport which is illegal I am sure) -
James Ang:
Interesting strategymy own experience is that if you lend out something, you may not get it back, so be mentally prepared to \"lose\" it. Never lend something that you cannot afford to \"lose\". If you press the lender to return the things, you may offend him/her or if it is damaged or lost or cannot be returned (eg money), it is going to break the ties or friendship. So why not give the goodwill to \"write off\" what you cannot get back by coercion, and still keep the ties or friendship, but remember never to lend $ or stuffs again to the same person.
one friend once did this to avoid \"loss\" because of lending. When someone says your CD is nice and want to lend it, ask him/her to lend you back another CD in return.
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