All About Autism

[Couragemom]

Hi Double E,


Thanks for your advice! My daughter is just like yours, not too keen on her academics. Mine loves to talk! I will moderate my expectation of my son. But recently I got complained by his principal that he cannot hold a scissors properly to cut dough, then I was like 'duhhhh, ooooookkkkk, I will practice with him at home. Gosh!

[ImMeeMee]

Couragemom


Glad to see that you are OK now.

My doter was three yo when we realized that we needed professional help, and almost immediately we were given the diagnosis. So I had no experience of going through the unknown and letting thoughts run wild about is it or is it not.

But I do understand how you feel in terms of the dark and weak moments. Not being too engaged with the child in the initial part could just be a way for us to protect ourselves from further hurt and anguish - we need time to self-heal and to learn to cope too. It does not just come naturally with a snap of a finger.

4 years on, things have normalized somewhat for us, and we have learnt to cope with it. My doter still has her areas of challenge, and we are still addressing these areas. I am not sure whether her issues will be addressed sufficiently in time to come, but we have learnt to be optimistic.

So take heart, it will be the same for you in time to come. And when you look back, you will realize that the experience has made you a stronger and better person. Its a marathon, not a sprint, and its a marathon that can be full of roses (though quite a lot of thorns too) - sometimes its really how we choose to look at things.

Take care.

[sharonkhoo]

Couragemom:

Hi Double E,


Thanks for your advice! My daughter is just like yours, not too keen on her academics. Mine loves to talk! I will moderate my expectation of my son. But recently I got complained by his principal that he cannot hold a scissors properly to cut dough, then I was like 'duhhhh, ooooookkkkk, I will practice with him at home. Gosh!

This is a case in point. Your son is 2yo, right? Then why should he be expected to use a scissors?

From the US National Institutes of Health website:
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency ... 002013.htm
Fine motor development milestones should include:

At about age 3:
Drawing a circle
Drawing a person with three parts
Beginning to use children's blunt-nose scissors
Self-dressing (with supervision)
At about age 4:
Drawing a square
Using scissors, and eventually cutting a straight line
Putting on clothes properly
Managing a spoon and fork neatly while eating
At about age 5:
Spreading with a knife
Drawing a triangle

Please don't let misguided teachers and therapists set unrealistic targets for your kids and make you worried. Check for yourself. Just because one child can do it doesn't mean all kids should be expected to do it. In your place, I wouldn't even bother to teach the boy to use scissors yet.

[Double E]

slmkhoo:

Couragemom:

Hi Double E,


Thanks for your advice! My daughter is just like yours, not too keen on her academics. Mine loves to talk! I will moderate my expectation of my son. But recently I got complained by his principal that he cannot hold a scissors properly to cut dough, then I was like 'duhhhh, ooooookkkkk, I will practice with him at home. Gosh!

This is a case in point. Your son is 2yo, right? Then why should he be expected to use a scissors?

From the US National Institutes of Health website:
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency ... 002013.htm
Fine motor development milestones should include:

At about age 3:
Drawing a circle
Drawing a person with three parts
Beginning to use children's blunt-nose scissors
Self-dressing (with supervision)
At about age 4:
Drawing a square
Using scissors, and eventually cutting a straight line
Putting on clothes properly
Managing a spoon and fork neatly while eating
At about age 5:
Spreading with a knife
Drawing a triangle

Please don't let misguided teachers and therapists set unrealistic targets for your kids and make you worried. Check for yourself. Just because one child can do it doesn't mean all kids should be expected to do it. In your place, I wouldn't even bother to teach the boy to use scissors yet.

Agree. only 2 years old leh. Do teachers really think all the kids are so smart? even teachers have good and bad ones. And at this moment, what is more impt? using a scissors or other areas like joint attention, speech? Tackle the more impt and crucial ones first, I say.

[optrex80]

Anyone can give me information on whether i should put my kid in special school or a normal stream school?

[sharonkhoo]

Double E:

slmkhoo:

[quote=\"Couragemom\"]Hi Double E,


Thanks for your advice! My daughter is just like yours, not too keen on her academics. Mine loves to talk! I will moderate my expectation of my son. But recently I got complained by his principal that he cannot hold a scissors properly to cut dough, then I was like 'duhhhh, ooooookkkkk, I will practice with him at home. Gosh!

This is a case in point. Your son is 2yo, right? Then why should he be expected to use a scissors?

From the US National Institutes of Health website:
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency ... 002013.htm
Fine motor development milestones should include:

At about age 3:
Drawing a circle
Drawing a person with three parts
Beginning to use children's blunt-nose scissors
Self-dressing (with supervision)
At about age 4:
Drawing a square
Using scissors, and eventually cutting a straight line
Putting on clothes properly
Managing a spoon and fork neatly while eating
At about age 5:
Spreading with a knife
Drawing a triangle

Please don't let misguided teachers and therapists set unrealistic targets for your kids and make you worried. Check for yourself. Just because one child can do it doesn't mean all kids should be expected to do it. In your place, I wouldn't even bother to teach the boy to use scissors yet.

Agree. only 2 years old leh. Do teachers really think all the kids are so smart? even teachers have good and bad ones. And at this moment, what is more impt? using a scissors or other areas like joint attention, speech? Tackle the more impt and crucial ones first, I say.[/quote]And actually, isn't it a bit dangerous to let a 2yo use a scissors, even if it's a small, blunt one? I'm sure I never allowed my kids to use one that young.

[sharonkhoo]

optrex80:

Anyone can give me information on whether i should put my kid in special school or a normal stream school?

How severely is your child affected? How is his behaviour, maturity, intellectual ability, social skills etc? You need to describe your child more.

[mashy]

Double E:

slmkhoo:

[quote=\"Couragemom\"]Hi Double E,


Thanks for your advice! My daughter is just like yours, not too keen on her academics. Mine loves to talk! I will moderate my expectation of my son. But recently I got complained by his principal that he cannot hold a scissors properly to cut dough, then I was like 'duhhhh, ooooookkkkk, I will practice with him at home. Gosh!

This is a case in point. Your son is 2yo, right? Then why should he be expected to use a scissors?

From the US National Institutes of Health website:
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency ... 002013.htm
Fine motor development milestones should include:

At about age 3:
Drawing a circle
Drawing a person with three parts
Beginning to use children's blunt-nose scissors
Self-dressing (with supervision)
At about age 4:
Drawing a square
Using scissors, and eventually cutting a straight line
Putting on clothes properly
Managing a spoon and fork neatly while eating
At about age 5:
Spreading with a knife
Drawing a triangle

Please don't let misguided teachers and therapists set unrealistic targets for your kids and make you worried. Check for yourself. Just because one child can do it doesn't mean all kids should be expected to do it. In your place, I wouldn't even bother to teach the boy to use scissors yet.

Agree. only 2 years old leh. Do teachers really think all the kids are so smart? even teachers have good and bad ones. And at this moment, what is more impt? using a scissors or other areas like joint attention, speech? Tackle the more impt and crucial ones first, I say.[/quote]Agree. Some teachers are just placing unrealistic expectations on the kids. 2 year old is too young to be able to use a scissors well. Maybe some can but not the majority.

My NT girl also likes to talk and not into acad. lol. She only wants to be a princess and sing all day.

My son's berries teacher said he is very bright and can do very well for Chinese. Lol. I'm only expecting him to pass and in fact applying for exemption coz I feel he can't cope. But probably all teachers say the same thing. THey start off by saying your child is very clever, BUT....

[Couragemom]

Hi mommies,


Exactly!!! I was like duhhhh, use blunt scissors to cut dough now??? Ooookkkk… Anyway I checked with my OT and she said b4 using scissors, I can train with a spray canister (the one we spray our clothes b4 ironing), the motion activates the same muscle as using scissors.

Simkhoo,

Yes, if based on US speech standard, my son is not even speech-delayed because he now has spontaneous 2-4 sentences now at 2 years old. BUT the developmental PD deem him as speech-delayed!!!

Hi ImMeeMee,

You are very right to say my detachment is just to protect myself from further hurt but I don’t know how I can live like that for the rest of the year! It is just that without the formal assessment, I will always cherish that ray of hope that maybe he is just delayed and not ASD. Then every time he shows improvement, then I will be very happy then straight after I chided myself, don’t be too happy, wait it is fake hope how? But with all the mommies’ wise advice and my own soul-searching, I have decided to hang on there, because assessing too early is not fair to my son and I will always think that the diagnosis is unfair.

[sharonkhoo]

Couragemom:

Hi mommies,

Simkhoo,

Yes, if based on US speech standard, my son is not even speech-delayed because he now has spontaneous 2-4 sentences now at 2 years old. BUT the developmental PD deem him as speech-delayed!!!

Hi ImMeeMee,

You are very right to say my detachment is just to protect myself from further hurt but I don't know how I can live like that for the rest of the year! It is just that without the formal assessment, I will always cherish that ray of hope that maybe he is just delayed and not ASD. Then every time he shows improvement, then I will be very happy then straight after I chided myself, don't be too happy, wait it is fake hope how? But with all the mommies' wise advice and my own soul-searching, I have decided to hang on there, because assessing too early is not fair to my son and I will always think that the diagnosis is unfair.

Frankly, since your son already can speak and seems to be OK in many ways, why not forget the therapies and go with your gut instinct? Give him and yourself a chance and see how it goes. I prefer to follow the official standards of countries like the US/UK rather than just rely on individual professionals. Although I don't want to accuse anyone, but do remember that they earn money by getting you to use their services, and they may tend to give you the worst case scenario so you stay with them longer.

Also, think of the costs (not just financial) of going to therapies - time, anxiety, lack of freedom for your son to do what he likes, less time for you to interact with him yourself etc.