In-law problems?
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Me too, will stay neutral and do what necessary as DIL. Respect her as DH’s mother.
Forgive her for all her selfish and mean acts–never! -
I cannot forget the fact that my PILs have never visited my sick mum, whether in hospital or at home....for the 5 years that she was battling cancer.
I was heart-broken when my mum asked me...in her hospital bed...why my MIL didn't visit her ? She commented MIL doesn't respect me as her DIL. I cried when I went home that day. Thinking how hurt my mum must have felt and how she must have been worried about how my ILs treat me.
2 days before my mum passed on.... DH and I were getting ready to visit my mum. The phone rang. For some reason, I sensed that it was my MIL who called. Before DH picked up the phone...I told him...if it is your mum and if she is asking to visit...tell her... too late liao. True enough, it was MIL and she asked which hospital is my mum. DH told her we don't accept visitors anymore.
Even if she is SO busy that she can't find time to visit my mum for 5 years, maybe she can buy some herbs or something for her... ? Well... no...nothing.
When my mum needed platelets donation, i brought up during a family gathering....EVERYONE heard but no one volunteered. My MIL has 6 children, so there were at least 10 adults. Nevermind, I will ask my friends and colleagues lor. Some were only acquaintances. None of my SILs and BILs ever asked me about my mum, in the 5 years....
Last year, SIL#1's MIL was in hospital, MIL, FIL, SIL#2 and SIL#3 queued up to visit her. Likewise when SIl#2's FIL was in hospital.
Why such different treatement ? Sorry lor....I am an outsider.
Anyway, EVERY single time I think of this incident, I will cry.... like now.... I just felt very hurt.
How to forgive ? How to forget ?
Tough lah....
I ever had such evil thoughts..... When MIL or FIL is in hospital, I won't let my dad visit him/her. And at their deathbed, I will tell them how hurt I feel because of what they didn't do and what my mum said....and probably my mum passed on with this in her mind. .....
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MIL behaved very differently too when her own daughter now has a MIL. It's like SIL's MIL gets first priority, better dun make things difficult for her own daughter's MIL.
Reunion dinner gotta change to reunion lunch bec SIL's MIL has their own reunion dinner. So must give way one. I didn't want to be sarcastic to DH about this, since this change is what I don't mind.
Just don't feel fair after so many years of me giving in and having to cancel my own dinners and relative get-togethers and in the end, she has double standards.
Just last night, I told DH how I can never forget how some people pretend to talk ever so nicely to DS2 in front of DH. And once DH is not around, these people can scold him and give him names and calling him 'dirty boy' right in front of me as if I'm invisible. I just can't forget that too. And seconds after DH returns to seat, they can treat DS2 so nicely again. I was like :shock: , really good actor and actress.
DH then commented, 'Maybe, it's just how my side of the family behave.' And he shrugged and shook his head sadly.Emelyn:
Kudos to your DH for being so supportive!2 days before my mum passed on.... DH and I were getting ready to visit my mum. The phone rang. For some reason, I sensed that it was my MIL who called. Before DH picked up the phone...I told him...if it is your mum and if she is asking to visit...tell her... too late liao. True enough, it was MIL and she asked which hospital is my mum. DH told her we don't accept visitors anymore.
What's most important is you have a supportive husband.
Sometimes, it's really heck care to those. Most important is to love those whom loves you back. -
Emelyn:
I ever had such evil thoughts..... When MIL or FIL is in hospital, I won't let my dad visit him/her. And at their deathbed, I will tell them how hurt I feel because of what they didn't do and what my mum said....and probably my mum passed on with this in her mind. .....
Hehe... sometimes when MIL does weird actions to me. I have evil thots too like :heresmyfish: or even something worse like :torchme:.
Maybe MIL and DIL have evil thots about me too! :nailbite: -
auntieM:
When I think of reunion dinner this Friday and going to meet MIL and her family, I really don't have the mood......urggh!!!!Me too, will stay neutral and do what necessary as DIL. Respect her as DH's mother.
Forgive her for all her selfish and mean acts--never! -
shine_fs:
Your reunion's this Friday???
When I think of reunion dinner this Friday and going to meet MIL and her family, I really don't have the mood......urggh!!!!auntieM:
Me too, will stay neutral and do what necessary as DIL. Respect her as DH's mother.
Forgive her for all her selfish and mean acts--never!
Mine's on Saturday afternoon.
I've already told my parents that we're going to their place for reunion dinner, but I'm scared that last minute, MIL will make alternative plans. :xedfingers: -
Emelyn:
True lor how to do that when we are the one gets hurt so badly........
How to forgive ? How to forget ?
Tough lah.... -
shine_fs:
When I think of reunion dinner this Friday and going to meet MIL and her family, I really don't have the mood......urggh!!!!
Same feeling, really don't feel like going for reunion dinner this Saturday evening . -
winth:
Your reunion's this Friday???
When I think of reunion dinner this Friday and going to meet MIL and her family, I really don't have the mood......urggh!!!!shine_fs:
[quote=\"auntieM\"]Me too, will stay neutral and do what necessary as DIL. Respect her as DH's mother.
Forgive her for all her selfish and mean acts--never!
Mine's on Saturday afternoon.
I've already told my parents that we're going to their place for reunion dinner, but I'm scared that last minute, MIL will make alternative plans. :xedfingers:[/quote]I really hate reunion dinner with them.....I will never forgets that I was not invited to IL's reunion dinner even we already ROM......she treated me like outsider. All my sisters went to their future in law's house for dinner and I was at home........my mom was so sad when see me treated as outsider by her. -
happymom_aa:
:celebrate:shine_fs:
When I think of reunion dinner this Friday and going to meet MIL and her family, I really don't have the mood......urggh!!!!
Same feeling, really don't feel like going for reunion dinner this Saturday evening .
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