How do you deal with arrogant/how lian people around you?
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mitten,
:goodpost: :salute: :salute: :salute: I totally agree with you and am sure most KSP think the same. Why stress the poor kid out? I was not worried when DS3 dropped HCL in P6 when he can't cope. I discouraged him from taking actually cos Chinese is his weakest subject. He takes HCL this year as he was given a second chance after getting A for PSLE. Of course he's struggling and I encourage him to try as being given a chance to do HCL shown that he has the capability and I didn't want him to give up easily. Having said that, I'm prepared for him to drop after Sec 1. Just like the parent who complained about her girl not getting into HCJC. There are many other JC. Even if my DS3 can get in, it doesn't mean that he can cope or he'll be the best. To me, my children are the best in my eyes and I'm contented as long as they are happy in what they do. Remember one parent said in this forum? If you are real gold, you'll shine wherever you are.
Janet,
From my experience, siblings can be your worst enemy. There are 2 ways that I get back at them. 1. Stare blankly at them and act blur to show that I'm not in the same mind as them and don't understand what they are saying. 2. Remember what they have said and repeat it when the opportunity arises. Just as 2ppaamm has said, \"he who laughs last, laughs the best.\" My SILs now think twice about making comments about my DS and they learnt it the hard way cos they're more embarrassed than when they insulted/criticised about my DS. Last Sunday, her DS who attended VS introduced my DS3 to his GF and adding that DS3 is in VS, his ex-school matter of factly.
2ppaamm,
As long as we know what we want, we don't have to compare with these shallow people and degrade ourselves. Sometimes, I'll make snide remarks and make sure that it's within earshot when I felt that I'm unfairly treated but try to minimise by making a joke out of it like \"Wah, so actor got privilege ah? I think I join Mediacorp and next time aunty you give me free food also hor.\" -
Yah siblings are always the closest source of competition.
I unintentionally offended my sis one day. I commented that I cannot stand how some parents will buy uniforms that are way too big for their kids. I am not talking about slightly bigger to get more mileage but those where short sleeves become 3/4 sleeves and the hem of the skirt are at calf length and shoes so big that it goes flying when the kid runs in them. Want to alter also cannot cos there is too much material. Don’t they care the it makes the kids look sloppy and untidy. By the time the kids grow into the uniform, it would be so worn and threadbare oredi.
Her retort, don’t be such a snob, not everyone is like you, can afford a new set of uniform every 6mths hor. Yah I know you earning a lot lah, buy things dun need to look at price tag, kids clothes wear once or twice cannot wear give away, kids sick go PD, GP no good enuf for your kids, …
on and on she went. And I just kept quiet loh. It’s like oops my blunder. -
jedamum:
jedamum,Parent A : I send my kids to ABC Tuition centre and XYZ enrichment so that they can get A++++ results leh...
Parent B : I did not send my kids to any tuition centre and they still excel in their studies leh...
Which of the above is a hao lian parent?
some people may intepret Parent A as sharing their resources, some may say that he is haolian. some people may intepret Parent B as sharing the benefits of no tuition, but some may say that he is haolian.
personal opinion is that perception of haolian-ness is in the eye of the recipient.
:goodpost: VERY interesting indeed!!
I am inclined to agree with you on the above point
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hquek:
Blobbi, you did the rite thing lah ....
Should have told the auntie, 'lao hong' actor also give face....imagine the whole of tcs come down....she is there to earn money or give money?Blobbi:
I did! Actor just flashed his teeth to a safe distance while aunty, you know aunty lah. Scold back! That's why, never again!
I would be :x too!
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Funz:
Funz, imagine that my niece is younger than me by 10 yrs and my sister always used to compare me to her or vice versa .... ever since she (my niece) graduated and started looking for a job cuz that was the time I had returned from overseas and was looking for a job too.Yah siblings are always the closest source of competition.
I unintentionally offended my sis one day. I commented that I cannot stand how some parents will buy uniforms that are way too big for their kids. I am not talking about slightly bigger to get more mileage but those where short sleeves become 3/4 sleeves and the hem of the skirt are at calf length and shoes so big that it goes flying when the kid runs in them. Want to alter also cannot cos there is too much material. Don't they care the it makes the kids look sloppy and untidy. By the time the kids grow into the uniform, it would be so worn and threadbare oredi.
Her retort, don't be such a snob, not everyone is like you, can afford a new set of uniform every 6mths hor. Yah I know you earning a lot lah, buy things dun need to look at price tag, kids clothes wear once or twice cannot wear give away, kids sick go PD, GP no good enuf for your kids, ....
on and on she went. And I just kept quiet loh. It's like oops my blunder.
This nonsense only stopped aft I was preggy and delivered my DS. I guess, by then, in my sister's eyes, I was on par with her already - a SAHM Lucky she has not, to date, not made comparisons as to who is a better cook etc.... :lol: :lol:
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mitten:
I told my children that all i want them to pick up knowledge and skills from teachers and friends, NOT in school to \"hao lian\" or showcase to people on what you already knew. At home, I just go through what they have learnt from school and assessment books for 1 hour only from monday to thursday and that it!! Both children are doing perfect work and cultivating good learning attitudes. To me this way, not only they love schools and studies, the most important is enjoying they are suppose to do. I don really want to stress my children as I have seen my experienced fellow friends had done that and the results were not as good as they wanted. It just simply backfired. I was stress when I was in school so I do know the pain. These pains do not gain any good gains. So, to me, enjoy life and enjoy what you are doing, don like it? then stop it. Now my son is picking up cello as he wants to learn so I let him, I love watch my children doing things which they enjoy learning!
:ugogirl: *clap clap* -
autumnbronze:
Blobbi, you did the rite thing lah ....
Tks for the support, people!! :grphug:
On another note, I once saw Diana Ser and alamak, forgot the name of the hubby, take a seat at an empty table at Lao Beijing at Plaza Singapura despite the obviously long wait. They were ushered out very quickly. :celebrate: :celebrate: -
Blobbi:
In this instance, I have to say ... thats what virtual frds are forTks for the support, people!! :grphug:
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Tutormum/hquek,
Putting up with SIL about the way she sing praises about daughter was irritating enough. To think that I have to put up with BIL doing the same thing now makes it even worse.
Whether the kid is in SAP school, busy with CCAs, tuition or swimming classes, no need to air. Just keep quiet. ZIP up.
:x Will try to keep arms length after CNY. -
janet_lee88:
Heh heh, try what I've been doing all these years? Plonk myself in front of th e TV and pretend not to hear anything unless they call me.Tutormum/hquek,
Putting up with SIL about the way she sing praises about daughter was irritating enough. To think that I have to put up with BIL doing the same thing now makes it even worse.
Whether the kid is in SAP school, busy with CCAs, tuition or swimming classes, no need to air. Just keep quiet. ZIP up.
:x Will try to keep arms length after CNY.
During dinner, sit very near DH, just chat what you like. Pretend no one else exists...
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