In-law problems?

[auntieM]

surfermom, agree with you just have to be firm on certain issues…let them say what they want. Even if you play the angel, they will still complain :x


My FIL went to buy 4D with 5 year old nephew and left him outside the shop.
The poor chap gone missing for awhile and luckily knew his way home. About the whole issue all my MIL’s concern was ‘your dad wants to kill himself leh…blah’
His idea of play time with my boy was giving him a lighter, or have him watch wrestling on TV. Not forgetting smoking around the poor boy with asthma…
How to tahan? Leave our kid out of our sight when your ILs’ love like that.

I can tell from relatives faces what kind of fussy n whatever DIL she had made me appear like. Bo pian…

[surfermom]

autumnbronze:

surfermom:

My son refused to leave with him and was pulling my maid along.

Surfermom,

I wanted to highlight this to you some days back, but it slipped my mind. Your son's reaction, to me, is v telling as to how he perceives your FIL. Is he like that with your MIL as well???

Or am I reading too much into this?? As I have a tendancy to ....

Autumnbronze, Yes, my son ALWAYS behaves like this with them. U r not over-sensitive. I always feel that babies/kids know the best and feel the vibes better. I don't say 'fulfill their self-gratification' anyhow. My son's reaction gives me this conclusion, partly. There were a few days when I was very busy organizing an event hence I left him with helper at home. MIL came over to play with him so helper can do work. It turned out that my 2yr old suddenly became sticky to my helper and refused to play with her. She left in half an hour. She complains that my son is too close to maid (which is NOT cos I'm also around him the entire day, not my helper alone). I muz say that right now, my son is slightly better as they will bribe him with chocolates, french fries and toys.

[surfermom]

auntieM:

surfermom, agree with you just have to be firm on certain issues...let them say what they want. Even if you play the angel, they will still complain :x


My FIL went to buy 4D with 5 year old nephew and left him outside the shop.
The poor chap gone missing for awhile and luckily knew his way home. About the whole issue all my MIL's concern was 'your dad wants to kill himself leh....blah'
His idea of play time with my boy was giving him a lighter, or have him watch wrestling on TV. Not forgetting smoking around the poor boy with asthma....
How to tahan? Leave our kid out of our sight when your ILs' love like that.

I can tell from relatives faces what kind of fussy n whatever DIL she had made me appear like. Bo pian.....

Speechless! If I'm in that situation, no need to think, FULL DAY CHILD CARE regardless how many battles I have to fight. Fight bullies in school easier than fighting passive smoke and 'negative influences'. How u tahan? Wah.

[autumnbronze]

surfermom:

autumnbronze:

[quote=\"surfermom\"] My son refused to leave with him and was pulling my maid along.

Surfermom,

I wanted to highlight this to you some days back, but it slipped my mind. Your son's reaction, to me, is v telling as to how he perceives your FIL. Is he like that with your MIL as well???

Or am I reading too much into this?? As I have a tendancy to ....

Autumnbronze, Yes, my son ALWAYS behaves like this with them. U r not over-sensitive. I always feel that babies/kids know the best and feel the vibes better. I don't say 'fulfill their self-gratification' anyhow. My son's reaction gives me this conclusion, partly. There were a few days when I was very busy organizing an event hence I left him with helper at home. MIL came over to play with him so helper can do work. It turned out that my 2yr old suddenly became sticky to my helper and refused to play with her. She left in half an hour. She complains that my son is too close to maid (which is NOT cos I'm also around him the entire day, not my helper alone). I muz say that right now, my son is slightly better as they will bribe him with chocolates, french fries and toys.[/quote]Then use that as a cue and never lose sight of it ..... my 2 cents

[surfermom]

Autumnbronze, Yup…I will. Thanks for reminder.

[autumnbronze]

surfermom:

auntieM:

surfermom, agree with you just have to be firm on certain issues...let them say what they want. Even if you play the angel, they will still complain :x


My FIL went to buy 4D with 5 year old nephew and left him outside the shop.
The poor chap gone missing for awhile and luckily knew his way home. About the whole issue all my MIL's concern was 'your dad wants to kill himself leh....blah'
His idea of play time with my boy was giving him a lighter, or have him watch wrestling on TV. Not forgetting smoking around the poor boy with asthma....How to tahan? Leave our kid out of our sight when your ILs' love like that.

I can tell from relatives faces what kind of fussy n whatever DIL she had made me appear like. Bo pian.....

Speechless! If I'm in that situation, no need to think, FULL DAY CHILD CARE regardless how many battles I have to fight. Fight bullies in school easier than fighting passive smoke and 'negative influences'. How u tahan? Wah.

:!: AuntieM, OMG, THIS is really bad. How DID you tahan??? Does DH know??

[auntieM]

DH will tell his dad off if he sees it in time, if not, here goes the bitchy me lor.


Now that my son is 6, things are more manageable.
My son told my mum \"Yeh yeh don't love me because he smokes where I can smell and see. Grandpa only smokes in the toilet and daddy 'hides' in the balcony to smoke. I know that.\"

[surfermom]

auntieM:

DH will tell his dad off if he sees it in time, if not, here goes the bitchy me lor.


Now that my son is 6, things are more manageable.
My son told my mum \"Yeh yeh don't love me because he smokes where I can smell and see. Grandpa only smokes in the toilet and daddy 'hides' in the balcony to smoke. I know that.\"

I salute your super high level of tolerance!

[2ppaamm]

auntieM:

DH will tell his dad off if he sees it in time, if not, here goes the bitchy me lor.


Now that my son is 6, things are more manageable.
My son told my mum \"Yeh yeh don't love me because he smokes where I can smell and see. Grandpa only smokes in the toilet and daddy 'hides' in the balcony to smoke. I know that.\"

Aiyoh! So sad for a child to feel that his granddad does not love him. I've always believed that it is utmost important for a kid to feel loved by his immediate relatives. This balance within a child is utmost important.

[auntieM]

Compared to many others here Im quite heng liao.

We don't stay together, and visits their place about twice a year only...
other times we meet up for makan outside.
I m just sharing what I went thru here, some people don't believe you when you tell them, or turn around and howlian to you how good their ILs are
Sigh! CNY round the corner, wish we can fast forward certain time of the day