In-law problems?

[buds]

autumnbronze:

surfermom:

My son refused to leave with him and was pulling my maid along.

Surfermom,

I wanted to highlight this to you some days back, but it slipped my mind. Your son's reaction, to me, is v telling as to how he perceives your FIL. Is he like that with your MIL as well???

Or am I reading too much into this?? As I have a tendancy to ....

I have this tendency too, autumnbronze..

Reading too much into things...
Sometimes it comes in handy &
sometimes i'd rather not read...
if ya know what i mean..

[buds]

MummyJo:

Though it is very sad, it is also very refreshing to know that from today, I can consciously start to live a life free of grudge.

Good for you then MummyJo... not everyone can live a life free of grudge.
Grudge with in laws.. Grudge with an old boss.. Grudge with an ex-spouse.
Grudges and its bagggage are heavy on the shoulders and the mind..

MummyJo:

Communication is the key.

Please dun mind if i add to the above statement, for it appears to me
that it's a wee tad incomplete..

Two-way communication is the key.

Cause in the case of hard-to-deal-with kinda ILs, usually there's only
one communication channel open... that is, they talk.. we must guai2
listen.

Cos no matter how much we know, theirs is still more salty.. :lol:
(If ya know wat i mean... )

I know this from being there and doing that (been there, done that) and
in fact still doing it booooyyyy...

[autumnbronze]

buds:

autumnbronze:

[quote=\"surfermom\"] My son refused to leave with him and was pulling my maid along.

Surfermom,

I wanted to highlight this to you some days back, but it slipped my mind. Your son's reaction, to me, is v telling as to how he perceives your FIL. Is he like that with your MIL as well???

Or am I reading too much into this?? As I have a tendancy to ....

I have this tendency too, autumnbronze..

Reading too much into things...
Sometimes it comes in handy &
sometimes i'd rather not read...
if ya know what i mean.. :|[/quote]Yup sista, I know whatcha mean

Methinks its an occupational 'hazard' and/or 'blessing'

We are both educators and you deal with young darlings, hence you need to be constantly alert to their nuances (one of the theories lah, you know urself best, so you may have other reasons). Me deal with Lit as a subject, so kena read too much into what is said/heard or read both in books and in reality :!: .

Oso, just to boost BOTH our egos a bit, lets just say we are sensitive human beings

[buds]

Yeah boy! :lol:


In Lit lagi best... everything said and done
has \"behind-the-story\" meanings... lagi
challenging! :politebleah:

Guess in your case, better to be safe not
to misconstrue things that are said as a
matter of factly. :rotflmao: Or else.... incur
the wrath of a very :x DH on a seemingly
petty and hyper-sensitive spouse! :!:

Hey, yeah... i'm sure we both like anything
\"boosting\"... if ya know wat i mean.. :evil:

:rotflmao:

>Pump Petrol<

Full-tank, uncle! :celebrate:

(Corny joke specially for LIT majors)

[autumnbronze]

buds:

Yeah boy! :lol:


In Lit lagi best... everything said and done
has \"behind-the-story\" meanings... lagi
challenging! :politebleah:

Guess in your case, better to be safe not
to misconstrue things that are said as a
matter of factly. :rotflmao: Or else.... incur
the wrath of a very :x DH on a seemingly
petty and hyper-sensitive spouse! :!:

Dis point, my DH has become more sharper oreadi over the yrs. He will have a disclaimer first ... ermmm if he's not too tired to forget to say that in the first place :lol:

buds:

Hey, yeah... i'm sure we both like anything
\"boosting\"... if ya know wat i mean.. :evil:

:rotflmao:

>Pump Petrol<

Full-tank, uncle! :celebrate:

(Corny joke specially for LIT majors)

Careful sista, lest you need to change your panties once again (oops did I read too much into the CORNY joke :rotflmao:)

[surfermom]

buds:

Yeah boy! :lol:


In Lit lagi best... everything said and done
has \"behind-the-story\" meanings... lagi
challenging! :politebleah:

Guess in your case, better to be safe not
to misconstrue things that are said as a
matter of factly. :rotflmao: Or else.... incur
the wrath of a very :x DH on a seemingly
petty and hyper-sensitive spouse! :!:

Hey, yeah... i'm sure we both like anything
\"boosting\"... if ya know wat i mean.. :evil:

:rotflmao:

>Pump Petrol<

Full-tank, uncle! :celebrate:

(Corny joke specially for LIT majors)

Warroaz jialat, u gals also Humanities grads ah? Me too leh...I majored in Sociology, Lit etc hence I can 'read' the cores of human beh hahaha. Not over-sensitive, just like someone said 'Perceptive' hahaha. Way to go.

We use our keen perception to protect ourselves by understanding our enemies.

[ChiefKiasu]

surfermom:

... hence I can 'read' the cores of human beh hahaha. Not over-sensitive, just like someone said 'Perceptive' hahaha. Way to go. ...

surfermom, lai! lai! Read me! Read me!

[auntieM]

I was lucky to survive childbirth, and on second day my MIL wayanged into my room and ask my mum if she needed to buy 'fish' for her to cook. My helper cried after she left, together with my mum. I was still in comatose than and DH was not around.

The next time we saw her was during the one month celebration, of course, Madam Butterfly need to do her show and picture taking with the little bundle.
The confinement maid wouldn't let her carry the baby coz there still food in her mouth and hands not clean, she didn't believe that was the grandma too.'Never see you before'
I din't cry much coz was focus on taking care of my baby. It was my helper and mum that did the crying for me.
Forgive? Forget?

[surfermom]

Chief, paiseh, Bu gan dang!


AuntieM, wow, you developed complications during delivery? And Hubby not around too, must have been a very tough one for u! Yes, tell me about it…it’s so evident WE r not their flesh & blood. MIL fought hard not to let me engage Confinement Lady but i insisted. She then came everyday to nitpick abt my CL and says that can easily have maid do all these things. Why waste (her son’s) $?? Yet her baby skills are so bad, once her big hard Gold bangle (she rested infant’s head on her wrist where the bangle was) and it hurt his tender head so much he howled in pain! C’mon, he’s only days old! When my baby was barely hours old, she insisted must feed him water! Took the hospital spoon and glass, proceeded to feed him, WITHOUT sterilising anything. I told her not to, she said she’s very experienced blah blah. Many stories…compared to yours, mine are ‘small stuff’, can forgive but how to forget? I just won’t let her hurt my baby anymore.

[buds]

autumnbronze:

2ppaamm:

[quote=\"auntieM\"]DH will tell his dad off if he sees it in time, if not, here goes the bitchy me lor.


Now that my son is 6, things are more manageable.
My son told my mum \"Yeh yeh don't love me because he smokes where I can smell and see. Grandpa only smokes in the toilet and daddy 'hides' in the balcony to smoke. I know that.\"

Aiyoh! So sad for a child to feel that his granddad does not love him. I've always believed that it is utmost important for a kid to feel loved by his immediate relatives. This balance within a child is utmost important.

Yup, AuntieM, what 2ppaamm says is v true. I oso subscribe to that.[/quote]Make that three of us. Me three.

That's why, regardless of how my MIL has
treated me and regardless of the issues i
have with all other ILs, my girls are never
in the midst of the commotion.

I very professional. I don't mix business
with pleasure. Are you going :whut:

Well, :!: no more...

Business = My girls!

Pleasure = Never-ending battle with MIL! :laugh:

Again, pls ignore my :siao:-ness today.