How do you deal with arrogant/how lian people around you?

[auntieM]

My child was premie and weigh just over a kg at birth, he managed to grow up fine except for being smaller build and on the skinny side. For the last 6 years I have to repeat myself to almost, if not everyone that I have been feeding him and the doctor says he is doing fine. Then there are the cruel relatives who kept reminding me that my kid looked much smaller than their kid/ grandkid. What to do but smile it off? So maybe I should look at it from the other side and think they meant well by repeatedly ‘reminding’ me and DH how small our kid is, they are really concerned.

My ILs didn’t need another grandson. My FIL told me so. They would rather we be childless so my DH business can be pass on to BIL.
I am just glad to pick up a few tips from all about how to handle these arrogant people that never stop appearing to ruin my day.
I’m sure given a choice everyone would love to have nice and understanding
family and friends whom you look forward to meeting. Unfortunately,not everyone has that kind of luck.

[autumnbronze]

auntieM:

My child was premie and weigh just over a kg at birth, he managed to grow up fine except for being smaller build and on the skinny side. For the last 6 years I have to repeat myself to almost, if not everyone that I have been feeding him and the doctor says he is doing fine. Then there are the cruel relatives who kept reminding me that my kid looked much smaller than their kid/ grandkid. What to do but smile it off? So maybe I should look at it from the other side and think they meant well by repeatedly 'reminding' me and DH how small our kid is, they are really concerned.

My ILs didn't need another grandson. My FIL told me so. They would rather we be childless so my DH business can be pass on to BIL.I am just glad to pick up a few tips from all about how to handle these arrogant people that never stop appearing to ruin my day.
I'm sure given a choice everyone would love to have nice and understanding
family and friends whom you look forward to meeting. Unfortunately,not everyone has that kind of luck.

Wah AuntieM, you REALLY tahan alot of 'verbal assault', judging from your other posts.

Don't let it niggle at you k .....

:ugogirl: :celebrate:

[auntieM]

Thanks autumnbronze

[Blobbi]

auntieM:

My ILs didn't need another grandson. My FIL told me so.

Gasp. That's so cruel. I would have broken down and just lost it. MY MIL was so nasty after I popped, I went into a state of (near?) post natal blues. That statement would have driven me over completely. You're very strong. We have to do it for our own families.

I don't feel angry or dislike now. Just pity. I'm really quite untouchable cos I can ignore very well. Things have gotten better too. But the funny thing is, I can still remember every word and gesture that went on during the period very vividly. Remarkable.

[Emelyn]

auntieM:

My ILs didn't need another grandson. My FIL told me so. They would rather we be childless so my DH business can be pass on to BIL.

walau.... this is the worst that I have heard.

auntieM....you are really very strong to be able to tahan such words....

[2ppaamm]

Emelyn:

auntieM:

My ILs didn't need another grandson. My FIL told me so. They would rather we be childless so my DH business can be pass on to BIL.

walau.... this is the worst that I have heard.

auntieM....you are really very strong to be able to tahan such words....

Yep, aiyah, one ear in one ear out lah. Make them regret lor.... I'm trying to do this everyday. Work hard and strive for your kids.

[tutormum]

AuntieM,

:hugs: Don't let this people affect you. After witnessing what has happened in my DH side of SIL, let me assure you that what goes around, comes around. I don't know whether I should say this, but as a Christian I've ren and ren all the nasty remarks from my SILs. I've never answer back and when my FIL and MIL (who are very nice people and not like them - I must say) were still alive, I kept telling myself that for their sake I must keep harmony in the family. Cannot hurt the old folks and make them sad. Now that they are gone, I avoid my SIL as much as possible and they also paiseh cos they know they can't anyhow talk like when the old was still around as nobody will tahan them if they go overboard. In fact, one SIL rebuked another for being nasty in her remarks just after FIL funeral so this SIL seems to understand why people put up with her nastiness. For me, I trust in my GOD who promised this - Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: \"It is mine to avenge; I will repay,\" says the Lord. - Romans 12 :19. Well, after more than 20 years, I can see the revenge promised.
1. They used to tell me that they are very pious and say that I'm not religious (I don't hold joss sticks and pai pai) so I don't expect the gods to protect or bless me. I told them that I'm a Christian and our religions are different so to each his own - I trust in my God, you trust in yours and I have no issues. Now. they are always talking about their worries about their children, family, business etc while I just seems to be happy to live each day as it comes. So, it's seems that my God has blessed me abundantly and my God is bigger than theirs. :lol:

2. My SIL makes sarcastic remarks about my DS build also (they take after their father who was very skinny when young but now has ballooned). Worse, she even remarked that my DS are not well fed at home and only get to eat good food in her house. She was trying to show off her wealth while putting me down. Anyway, having good food in her house is cos of some special occasions when the family has to offer prayers like my FIL and MIL death anniversary and DH has to contribute money. We don't eat for free hor. :roll: Now, my DS1 is more muscular than her DS and the sarcastic remarks take a 180 turn to \"wa, your DS eat good food and grow so muscular ah. Good life hor\". So AuntieM, whether small or big build, these people sure has a way to get at you. If they want to be mean, they'll be no matter what. We must show them that whatever they say doesn't affect us cos their aim is to upset us so even if we are upset inside, we must not show it. Tahan and more tahan.

3. My SIL is a spendthrift cos her DH is running the family business. My DH didn't work for them cos they pay peanuts. I used to struggle financially but due to prudent savings, I'm able to live comfortably. My SIL used to show off her purchases - health tonics that costs hundreds of dollars for example. Now, her DH business suffers one setback after another and has been entertaining thoughts of closing down but worried about getting a job. She complains that she tries not to see a doctor to save on medical fees.

4. When I first married, my SIL has only 1 precious son and act as if she's the only one who has sons. She doesn't reprimand her children and doesn't like anyone to tick them off. She used to tell my DH when he tried to correct her DS1 to bear your own sons and correct them as you like but don't touch mine. When I have DS1, I taught him manners such as greeting the elders. She was very mad when my MIL remarked that my DS were well brought up. She started to teach her children to greet elders so as not to lose out. :roll: So, AuntieM, bring up you DS to be a gentleman and show your FIL that your DS is the finest grandson he ever has.

[janet88]

Hi Mummies,

I know we have our disappointments, but with CNY just round the corner, let's think ahead and be happy. We should try not to let anyone bring us down. Hopefully I don't get misunderstood again.

:celebrate:

[2ppaamm]

janet_lee88:

Hi Mummies,

I know we have our disappointments, but with CNY just round the corner, let's think ahead and be happy. We should try not to let anyone bring us down. Hopefully I don't get misunderstood again.

:celebrate:

no worries! Happy new year! Let's enjoy this holiday season and recharge ourselves!P

[Serafiel]

lol, my parents will brag.

eg "when I was in school I always top in school one! Why you always 10+ in class, how to make it into HC or RJC?"
or "my daughter/son very smart, got government scholarship! and my daughter/son got 9A1s in o levels!" will be uttered by my mom’s colleagues.
I just ignore them. Whatever lah, you also not top scorer in singapore right.