All About Parenting Teenagers

[kevkevkaf]

chryl4parents:

Disciplining teenagers sounds like a daunting task but it does not have to be that way. I have 2 boys and I did have challenges in their teen years. As I've conducted parenting talks and have spoken to many parents, I'd like to share a little and hope that it can help you and parents of teenagers.


The magic is to truly 'listen'. Most parents have spent many years of their children's lives telling them what to do... its called \"nagging\" (as children see it) that their children have developed the skill of switching off. Children do not see the fun side of their parents because all they do is grumble, complain, nag and remind them of how much they have spent on them and have done for them.

I liked what you said about not being a perfect parent. We are not perfect because we are all parents in training. I call it \"Amateur Parents\". Which is why we struggle on a daily basis.

I would like to suggest that you reach out to her by asking her opinion or having her come up with suggestions on certain issues, try to draw her into a 2 way, sharing communication.

Always keep positive thoughts of her in your mind during your conversations.

Thanks for the enlightening advice. Will try to establish real 2 way communication with my children!

[Mummybaker]

Yes, its very helpful indeed. thanks!

[kitty2]

Wonder how to control their mood swing? Sometimes a child can be feeling angry for no reasons and they tend to harm themselves my friend's gal cut her wrist and the other one will bite herself or stuffs that she can find.At times they also don't feel like eating! One is under weight now.

[jasmine4]

kitty2:

Wonder how to control their mood swing? Sometimes a child can be feeling angry for no reasons and they tend to harm themselves my friend's gal cut her wrist and the other one will bite herself or stuffs that she can find.At times they also don't feel like eating! One is under weight now.

Very often this kind of behaviour is influenced by peers. They feel that it is the \"in\" thing to do and feel absolutely cool about that.

[Beatrice_NoQ]

jasmine4:

kitty2:

Wonder how to control their mood swing? Sometimes a child can be feeling angry for no reasons and they tend to harm themselves my friend's gal cut her wrist and the other one will bite herself or stuffs that she can find.At times they also don't feel like eating! One is under weight now.

Very often this kind of behaviour is influenced by peers. They feel that it is the \"in\" thing to do and feel absolutely cool about that.

True! This is the age where what parents say means nothing, and what friends say means everything. Unfortunately. Haha. Perhaps parents can look for a family friend, tutor or cousin closer to their teenage kid's age to set a good example?

[boinbi]

Hi, I am facing the same problem with my two DDs (17 yrs old & 13 yr old). When they come home from school, they will be using their handphones for a few hrs before showering & dinner. After dinner, it’s back to handphones & homework. Have tried to involve them in conversations. They are either not keen or give ‘don’t know’ as answers. My husband & I usually end up with one-way conversations. It’s also difficult ask them to go for outings as a family. Have tried to control their handphone usage but to no avail. Would like to know what are the activities you all do with your teenage kids (at home and outdoor). Thank you.

[sharonkhoo]

boinbi:

Hi, I am facing the same problem with my two DDs (17 yrs old & 13 yr old). When they come home from school, they will be using their handphones for a few hrs before showering & dinner. After dinner, it's back to handphones & homework. Have tried to involve them in conversations. They are either not keen or give 'don't know' as answers. My husband & I usually end up with one-way conversations. It's also difficult ask them to go for outings as a family. Have tried to control their handphone usage but to no avail. Would like to know what are the activities you all do with your teenage kids (at home and outdoor). Thank you.

My girls are 14 and 17. Only the younger one has a smartphone (because of all the school whatsapp groups) and she uses it for a few minutes at a time maybe 2-3 times in an evening. The older one is still using a push-button phone and isn't keen to change!

At home - we talk over the dinner table. My younger girl is a chatterer and will tell me all sorts of things when she gets home and at intervals through the evening. My older one hardly says much and has to have info prised out of her, but we get enough to roughly know what's going on in her life. We are a Christian family, so we spend about 30mins on 'devotions' most nights where we also chat a bit. For leisure, we sometimes play board games or watch TV/DVDs together.

Outside - not much since the girls are so busy! Occasionally on a Sunday, my husband and younger girl will go jogging, and I will take a walk with the older one (we can't/won't run!). We try to plan some outings during the school holidays, but as they get older, it gets harder to find time. That will be things like having a meal, shopping, going to a museum or nature park etc.

On getting words out of reluctant talkers - have you tried not using questions that can be answered by yes/no/don't know/fine? I found with my older girl that asking those questions would inevitably get those answers and the conversation would end. Eg. instead of asking \"How was your day?\" (response - \"fine\") I will ask \"What lessons did you have today? What topic was discussed?\". I also refuse to take \"don't know\" as an answer unless they really don't know! Sometimes we have to be a bit devious.

[boinbi]

Thank you everyone for your valuable tips and sharing. Will try to apply some of them.

[s2s4teens]

All tactics shared are so often heard and tried yet many parents feedback that the result is still the same - their children especially their teens are still not cooperating with them.


My team has come up with a new program to help your teens (including one of my children) to improve their life skills - Secrets to Success for Teens. Would like to invite you to join us for a non-obligated preview.

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[TravelMummy]

I used to give free tuition this girl in p6 (sec 1 now) as she was very weak in her subjects and her parents were unable to manage her - relationship fraught with difficulties. She was failing most of her subjects and seemed destined for normal tech stream although in reality, she is quite bright but unmotivated and has short attention span. Fortunately she did better than expected and ended up in normal academic stream. After she made it through PSLE, we pretty much left her alone to adjust to secondary school life, keeping in touch just occasionally. Originally she seemed to have adjusted well, despite sometimes posting on FB that she doesn’t like her school. However, recently I received a distressed call from her parents that she has started on a destructive path of self-mutilation. Challenged by some kids in school, she engaged in a self slashing contest and returned home with cuts all over the arm. I am very shocked - this is way out of my depth - anyone has any experience how to help such kids? I honestly don’t know if this is due to immaturity - like those kids engaged in staring contests etc - but its gotta border on some psychological issues for one to self mutilate? Appreciate any advice. Thanks.