Neither borrowers nor lenders nor both be ....
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I believe most of us only lend to family which IMHO is fine as we know their financial status. I would not chase for repayment and write it off. That's what family is for. Of course, for those mean SIL, no way.
I also give in subtle ways like buying gifts and giving red packets during festivals so as not to embarrass them. :love: -
autumnbronze:
My son (P1 then) lent his powerful yoyo to a boy from another class. When he asked for it, that boy claimed that :This thought just came to me ...
As parents, what/how do you tell/teach your kids with regards to this topic. I am sure at one point of time or the other, they may have also borrowed/lent money/stuff from frds etc ...
* He has returned
* He has loaned it to another boy
Well... the story is he never did and he even scratch my son's hand.
We told him to learn to handle it. Either tell his teacher or take this as a learning experience. Don't anyhow lend things to people. Particularly to people he don't even know. He need to learn how to \"evaluate\" his friends before trusting them. I think this is life skills. -
My own experience is that if you lend out something, you may not get it back, so be mentally prepared to \"lose\" it. Never lend something that you cannot afford to \"lose\". If you press the lender to return the things, you may offend him/her or if it is damaged or lost or cannot be returned (eg money), it is going to break the ties or friendship. So why not give the goodwill to \"write off\" what you cannot get back by coercion, and still keep the ties or friendship, but remember never to lend $ or stuffs again to the same person.
One friend once did this to avoid \"loss\" because of lending. When someone says your CD is nice and wants to lend it, ask him/her to lend you back another CD in return.
Applies to anything else. Eg. if someone ask to borrow money from you, ask them to leave something valuable for your safekeeping (but of course don't ask to keep their personal stuffs such as IC or Passport which is illegal I am sure) -
James Ang:
Interesting strategymy own experience is that if you lend out something, you may not get it back, so be mentally prepared to \"lose\" it. Never lend something that you cannot afford to \"lose\". If you press the lender to return the things, you may offend him/her or if it is damaged or lost or cannot be returned (eg money), it is going to break the ties or friendship. So why not give the goodwill to \"write off\" what you cannot get back by coercion, and still keep the ties or friendship, but remember never to lend $ or stuffs again to the same person.
one friend once did this to avoid \"loss\" because of lending. When someone says your CD is nice and want to lend it, ask him/her to lend you back another CD in return.
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One of my worst experience many years ago is that a friend who is a junior to me asked me to lend him $500 and promises to return it in a few days time. I asked why he needed the money and he confessed that he wanted to lend to his long-term friend who needed $2000, and he was short of $500. My friend claimed that his friend would return the money in a few days and then he would return the money back to me. I sternly told my friend that my loan was to my friend directly and I didn’t want to pursue third party in case this loan to his friend couldn’t be retrieved. My friend understood, the whole arrangement. As I predicted, his friend conned him and disappeared into thin air. Then my friend finally admitted that he knew that "long-term friend" for a few weeks only and that con-man sounded reliable because he carried credit cards and claimed to be an oil executive. Of course I didn’t get the money back from my friend, but we are still friends now. Friendship is worth more than $500, and what’s more he was conned by a highly sophisticated fraudster who used a false name and false details. My friend paid a price for his mistake and learnt a lesson that he would never forget. I learnt something too.
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James Ang:
One of my worst experience many years ago is that a friend who is a junior to me asked me to lend him $500 and promises to return it in a few days time. I asked why he needed the money and he confessed that he wanted to lend to his long-term friend who needed $2000, and he was short of $500. My friend claimed that his friend would return the money in a few days and then he would return the money back to me. I sternly told my friend that my loan was to my friend directly and I didn't want to pursue third party in case this loan to his friend couldn't be retrieved. My friend understood, the whole arrangement. As I predicted, his friend conned him and disappeared into thin air. Then my friend finally admitted that he knew that \"long-term friend\" for a few weeks only and that con-man sounded reliable because he carried credit cards and claimed to be an oil executive. Of course I didn't get the money back from my friend, but we are still friends now. Friendship is worth more than $500, and what's more he was conned by a highly sophisticated fraudster who used a false name and false details.
Well, you are quite fortunate that your friend told you the truth. He could have easily lied and said it was for himself and then your money would have :moneyflies:.
Sometimes its really not that tough to draw the line ....
ps actually its half truth, since the long term frd was in fact a v v short term frd. -
what if the borrower is your boss or immediate superior who can does your performance appraisal or has the power to fire you?
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tankee:
what if the borrower is your boss or immediate superior who can does your performance appraisal or has the power to fire you?
i will say, i ask my husband and then said he say cannot.
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tankee:
what if the borrower is your boss or immediate superior who can does your performance appraisal or has the power to fire you?
Good question tankee Sensitive treading ground here.
I have personally never been in this situation before.
But I suppose it depends on the circumstances ie how well you know him, how big is the loan amt etc... I will subtly try to direct him to relevant avenues and
he gets my hint
Somehow, though if I am the boss, I would feel somewhat uncomfortable asking money from my subordinates. The issue of respect and keeping personal life separate from work .. u know what I mean.
Any experiences on that?? Never heard of it. Usu its the other way ard, I would think. -
I used to report to a guy who borrowed and never returned. Luckily he did not borrow money but items like laser pointers, stationaries, etc
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