In-law problems?

[Blobbi]

Teehee, I've been having it good for a few years now. Wasn't always like this, but it's good to know that things can just suddenly change overnight.


Hang in there, gals! And in any case, you're definitely the winners cos you've got your own great families to make you happy all year round for many years to come!!! :celebrate:

[autumnbronze]

Yeah 2ppaamm,


:goodpost:

I have been having it quite good too cuz I zip up. I can't complain cuz they REALLY help out with the kid.

I am also fortunate that I am able to share my rants with DH who then tries to enlighten me by explaning ILs' rationale behind their words/actions

[shine_fs]

angela:

Sometimes, I thought back. My ILs have been staying with us since we got married. Everything was fine at that time, I still will find time to chat with my MIL. When my friends asked me how was it liked staying with ILs, I always said \"fine, good!\"


But now, after I had my 1st daughter and now expecting another daughter who will be due at the end of April'2010, everything seems like changing alot. I have more conflicts with my MILs.

I think mostly is the way of looking after my daughter is totally different. And also she wants to have a grandson but I only have daughters.

Now, she treats my brother-in-law's wife better than me as she is trying to conceive. Maybe she just hopes that this daughter-in-law will give her a grandson.

Sometimes, I dun understand why must be grandson, not granddaughter. Both are your grandchildren. Why must be like that?

Like that time I was expecting my 1st daughter, my daughter was very naughty, always dun let the doctor know the gender. My MIL will make the effort to brew some herbal soup for me and once she knew that was a girl, she looked disappointed but she still continued brewed the soup for me. She hoped that the next one we will give her a grandson. But this time, my 2nd daughter let the doctor know the gender, she knew it and totally didn't care about her, never brew anything for her. Sometimes, I feel very sorry to my baby. Before coming to this world, have received this kind of treatment. My 1st daughter is a very active and happy child but I dunno whether my second one can feel that no one cares about her and will it affect her personalities. Even I am hungry or sick, I have to look after myself unless I am at my mum's place.

Look like I have many complaints when expecting my second child.

aiya, is not grandson or granddaughter lah.....I gave birth to 2 grandsons....she also din brew anything for me hor......we not their daugther....I saw my MIL brew tonic for her daugther when she was pregnant...

[auntieM]

At least I have 2 day old salted egg and opened can peanut from fridge thats about XX days old Me MIL more 'cool'

[2ppaamm]

shine_fs:

...we not their daugther....I saw my MIL brew tonic for her daugther when she was pregnant...

I tend to agree with that, not because I want to bad mouth my MIL anymore, but because I think that's the main reason why MILs don't get along with DILs. We are not their daughters and they are just not sensitive to our needs.

I remember when I was in confinement, and my SIL wanted to me to teach her how to bake. I asked her over. The whole time I was baking (I had to be on my feet just 1 week after childbirth), she was not really learning. At the end of the session, she took the cake (leaving nothing for me) and I had to do the washing up! Hey, who is the one doing confinement. To this day, she cannot bake a cup cake.

On that day, my MIL who was supposed to do my confinement did not cook. She bought duck rice for me. She then told me her daughter didn't eat and gave that packet to her. I had nothing to eat after baking for her daughter! :x After mother and daughter left, I had to cook for myself. What kind of confinement was that? :?

This occurred almost 16 years ago. I was very angry then. Now, as I look back, I choose to believe she was simply insensitive to my needs. Why? I'm not her daughter and never will be. She probably didn't realise what she did to me. Yep, I've forgiven her, but I'll never let her have a chance to destroy my life again. I will never agree to let MIL do my confinement, and I'll never agree to teach SIL how to bake a cheesecake again! :stupid:

[MMM]

shine_fs:

...we not their daugther....I saw my MIL brew tonic for her daugther when she was pregnant...

Yes... this is true. When I had my 1st child, my mum would brew tonic and bring food to my place everyday (I am staying with pils). She would make the rice wine chicken, fish, tonic,etc... For my mil?????, she only steam fish with minced meat for me everyday!!! Till the extent that my mum said that my mil is \"too lazy\" for a woman.

Also, when my mum brought chicken and tonic, she would be like... can eat tonic and chicken now meh??? My mum was like, if confinement don't eat, then wait until when then eat???? Of course must bu during confinement.

So for my 2nd and 3rd child, I just did confinement at mum's house. I didn't care what mil think. Just asked hubby to tell her. Thankfully my 4 sils are the myob type and our relationship is amicable. I never hear anything so I don't care. But it's obvious to her that my mum is a better caregiver.

Also, my kids used to comment that my mil pampers my eldest sil's kids more though my hubby is the only son. I always joked with my hubby that he must have given her mum a difficult time so she is not her favorite child. Mil once told my mum that she is not that close to my hubby because he was in army then followed by uni hostel. But of course being the only son, my fil sides us alot more.

[2ppaamm]

MMM:

my fil sides us alot more.

Sigh! used to be the case for me as well, until my FIL died suddenly of heart attack. My world fell apart. Really. I still dream of him... After he died, our family became the subject of bully by the SIL king.

[MMM]

2ppaamm:

MMM:

my fil sides us alot more.

Sigh! used to be the case for me as well, until my FIL died suddenly of heart attack. My world fell apart. Really. I still dream of him... After he died, our family became the subject of bully by the SIL king.

Not trying to be evil. But sometimes I hope that my fil will outlive my mil. I've more things to talk to him about as compared to my mil. My mil is partially deaf due to ear digging I heard. So for me to talk to her, I've to \"shout\" at her which I feel is rather rude. On the other hand, we really got no common topics. She likes to say everything is ok. But I know she is not the everything ok type.

[2ppaamm]

Despite all that the ILs do, I still hope they live long long. I also hope to live long long… I believe when we all grow old, all these things will pass, and all of us will laugh at our own stupidity. Mine included! We can then help to fuss around the young folks and wonder why they are repeating our silly mistakes. Young Fools!

[shine_fs]

2ppaamm:

Despite all that the ILs do, I still hope they live long long. I also hope to live long long... I believe when we all grow old, all these things will pass, and all of us will laugh at our own stupidity. Mine included! We can then help to fuss around the young folks and wonder why they are repeating our silly mistakes. Young Fools!

Whether they can live long or not is ......depend on their 寿命。。。。