SAHP or working is better?

[autumnbronze]

Lock:

daisyt:

Even being a FTWM, I have done similar things before, halfway of work, put down everything and rush to school.

Before being a SAHM, I was a MOE teacher teaching in a sec sch. I certainly would not be able to 'abandon' my class and attend to my kids' needs as and when. I remembered how heart-wrenching I felt when I couldn't even take leave to send my dd to her presch on her 1st day, neither could I take off to celebrate her birthdays in her sch with her. That's why once my bond was up, I quit to be SAHM cos I just missed out too much on my dd's growing up years.

Many people think that SAHM's job is the toughest but I think FTWM's job is more demanding. They have to juggle between work and family. They are the true superwoman, esp those who are still able to raise responsible and sensible kids despite their demanding day job. :celebrate: all these FTWM.

Lock,

You echo my sentiments ....

The sch that I was teaching in was not family oriented.

I still went back to sch to teach while early miscarrying (bleeding), only because a colleague 'paid the price' at yr end work review, when she was on mc for some time because of her miscarriage (at 6 months) ....

[corneyAmber]

autumnbronze:

ks2me,

Actually both you and the person quoted above have valid points.

However, I believe there must be a balance drawn between the two.

Parents must be observant if an argument/fight is abt to brew bet the kids and shd take steps to intervene and explain (v important) when necessary.

Sidetrack -- actually alot of these 'verbal assault' take place because of violence on tv etc ...

Btw, hope your DD weren't 'affected' by that senseless remark.

Yeah that is why I say do it in context and I wonder if kids can understand \"fighting is good\"..perhaps at teen level only when they are more matured.

We can blame the TV, but guidance is always required to avoid this.

She was stunned naturally but luckily she could continue to focus and ignore the attention-seeking kids.

[2ppaamm]

autumnbronze:

Before being a SAHM, I was a MOE teacher teaching in a sec sch. I certainly would not be able to 'abandon' my class and attend to my kids' needs as and when. I remembered how heart-wrenching I felt when I couldn't even take leave to send my dd to her presch on her 1st day, neither could I take off to celebrate her birthdays in her sch with her. That's why once my bond was up, I quit to be SAHM cos I just missed out too much on my dd's growing up years.


Many people think that SAHM's job is the toughest but I think FTWM's job is more demanding. They have to juggle between work and family. They are the true superwoman, esp those who are still able to raise responsible and sensible kids despite their demanding day job. :celebrate: all these FTWM.

Lock,

You echo my sentiments ....

The sch that I was teaching in was not family oriented.

I still went back to sch to teach while early miscarrying (bleeding), only because a colleague 'paid the price' at yr end work review, when she was on mc for some time because of her miscarriage (at 6 months) .... :([/quote]
O no, I thought teaching was an excellent career for mothers, thinking you can have the same holidays and 2 years child care leave... tough yeah?

How about starting a tuition centre, and run it but don't teach in it? Will that work for trained teachers?

[autumnbronze]

ks2me:

She was stunned naturally but luckily she could continue to focus and ignore the attention-seeking kids.

A ....hah, thats good, just like mummy

[autumnbronze]

2ppaamm:

O no, I thought teaching was an excellent career for mothers, thinking you can have the same holidays and 2 years child care leave... tough yeah?


How about starting a tuition centre, and run it but don't teach in it? Will that work for trained teachers?

Depends how the sch is run lah 2ppaamm.

Sorri, no offence, but the P was a single lady. Then mid management also full of insecure pple. So even though it was a v gd sch, I moved to another where staff welfare was excellent. When the incident occurred again, this P was super understanding. But then she was transferred to another sch and because family planning became priority, so I quit lah. Didn't want to sit ard and see how the new P would be. Never turned back.

Teaching is still do-a-ble if one is a relief teacher or contract based. But no perks ...

Tuition is good. Thats what I am doing. Just 2 classes a week.

Tuition centre - you need a pool of good teachers you can rely on, operating costs etc ...

So overall, the first 2 are more feasible.

[corneyAmber]

autumnbronze:

ks2me:

She was stunned naturally but luckily she could continue to focus and ignore the attention-seeking kids.

A ....hah, thats good, just like mummy

You mean focus in the 3-word story ah? :lol: :lol: :lol:

[Blobbi]

2ppaamm:

I am not SAHM hor.... but I do believe in this. It is so unfair to expect a woman to be able to work and raise a family WELL. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. All of us have only 24 hours a day.

You know what, I actually know some of these top ranked women, sometimes appearing in Tatler in all these parties as part of their social duties, all smiling and bejewelled. They have ZERO time for their kids.

I took a different road and quit. These are still my best pals, but I get scared when I hear about what's going on at home. The older kids who at least had some mummy time when younger turn out well, if not at the top of any rankings in school, but the younger ones who arrived when mummy and daddy started to rise in the companies and consequently had less time for them when they were in preschool years are flailing. No amount of daily tuition can help because the discipline, respectful attitude was never inculcated in the first place.

Is there a halfway point? The gap between the top dollar job with anything else is too wide, and it is a major sacrifice. It's all about priorities, and it's tough if one's self esteem is balanced on the opposite end versus the future of one's children.

The answer is different for everyone.

[Blobbi]

skunk:

minnie2004:

(that's when they're not fighting :D).

Fighting is good. It's an essential step in learning anger and conflict management.

Children should only have their fights stopped if it has gotten dangerous. Preventing children from fighting/arguing/having conflicts, means that they will not have learnt how to handle this important part of human relationship when they grow up.

Just keep the knives away, everything will be fine LOL

Em, Fighting doesn't help you learn about anger and conflict management. Fighting gives you the opportunity to learn about it, but it's not an automatic next step.

In fact, children learn about anger and conflict management by watching their parents model it. We do need to step in when they're young to remind them not to use their fists, because violence and strength is not the answer (It was back in the stone age days, but times are different mah). The difficulty is in resolving conflict, and so long as they're not duking it out or there is an obvious case of bullying, I leave them alone. After the event and after they've cooled down, I just ask if they'd like to play again. If they do, then what do they think should be done? They'll figure it out after awhile.

[Blobbi]

ks2me:

My child went for a class today and first thing she stepped in, a boy said \"Kill her!\", only because she was new?? :roll: :roll:
I wonder what kind of parenting this boy had been receiving or none.

I have many cases to quote on children's act of violence and verbal abuses and I find it is the very fact that parents never nip it in the bud but instead offered 歪道理 or wrong application of a theory.

Ooh. Nothing gets *my* hackles up faster than to see/hear abuse heaped on my kid! :x :x

Can't remember what I've done in the past (selective memory!), but yow, watch out!! What's with these parents???!

[2ppaamm]

You already said it. No time for their kids or simply too lazy to correct their attitude. Well it is paybnow or pay later. If parents refuse to spend time with kids now they will have to pay for it later which will be a much higher price.