All About Autism

[Integer]

ymeynow:

I am very sad now. I have an asd child in kindy and I just discovered that I am preg! my hub and I are in shock. we do not want #2 actually cos we are worried of the asd genes as well as $$ tight... I am not happy at all now

:hugs: Don't be sad ..

A gd friend has 1st child with asd, now at JC 2, aiming to go to Uni. 2nd child is \"normal\" and is extremely smart.

P.S The 1st child had interventions since young and his mum quit her well paying job in order to focus her efforts on him.

[mashy]

ymeynow:

thanks for your kind words.


problem is, my child is going to p1 next year and it's also around my edd, if everything goes well. I am the one and only caregiver. how am I to juggle between both?!

Can be done. I'm a sahm without any help. Have taken care of both my kids like this all along. Have a confinement nanny for the first month. For your P1, send him on a school bus. I brought my 2nd one along when the older one has therapy unless the grandparents could help.

[sharonkhoo]

mashy:

ymeynow:

thanks for your kind words.


problem is, my child is going to p1 next year and it's also around my edd, if everything goes well. I am the one and only caregiver. how am I to juggle between both?!

Can be done. I'm a sahm without any help. Have taken care of both my kids like this all along. Have a confinement nanny for the first month. For your P1, send him on a school bus. I brought my 2nd one along when the older one has therapy unless the grandparents could help.

I was a SAHM with no help too. I have an Asperger's daughter who is 2 yrs older than my other (NT) daughter. Would you be able to have a relative or friend come in to help during that first few weeks? Or you can just bring your newborn with you in a sling - they are very portable at that age. You may have to give up some of the 'confinement' customs if you need to run around, but I personally don't believe that you need to be so 'confined'. Get other help like tingkat food, get your husband to do the housework etc until you have recovered fully. Take it a day at a time, and don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it.

[Couragemom]

ymeynow:

thanks for your kind words.


problem is, my child is going to p1 next year and it's also around my edd, if everything goes well. I am the one and only caregiver. how am I to juggle between both?!

It is really going to be a challenge. Like Mashy says, let your son take the school bus? Talk to the AED once you settle the primary school registration in July? There is also after-school care service, you may wish to explore this option to see such centers near the primary school accepts special needs child?

Not sure if your son is doing private therapies at the moment, perhaps can switch back to govt therapies where it is cheaper and less frequent?

Are you also worried because you feel your son can only cope in Primary school homework with a lot of support from you? Perhaps you want to consider deferring primary school for 1 more year to get his foundation academic skills more ready?

Sorry, just thinking up some ideas here and there as don't really know the condition of your son. Please don't be too unhappy and affect your pregnancy. May you find peace in whatever final decision you made.

[Blokus]

Hi

This is probably off topic but I just wanted to caution those of you who have kids entering main stream primary school.

My son is in P1 now, and the teacher is absurdly obsess with plastering ‘special needs’ label on the kids- whom to me look normal as normal can be. Just because the kids misbehave and she has poor management, she slaps the label on them. Plus try all ways and means to get these kids out of her class.

I’m sharing this because I would to warn you nice folks that not all teachers are accommodating. When enrolling your child, it’s best to declare and specifally request for a teacher who is patient and has the ability to see the child’s Potential despite the flaws. It’s very important. Those with special needs in my son’s class is being ignored by the teacher, she takes a hands off approach on them. So, I hope you would make a point to the school to ensure that your child is allocated to a caring teacher because not all teachers are that noble & accepting.

[mashy]

Blokus:

Hi

This is probably off topic but I just wanted to caution those of you who have kids entering main stream primary school.

My son is in P1 now, and the teacher is absurdly obsess with plastering 'special needs' label on the kids- whom to me look normal as normal can be. Just because the kids misbehave and she has poor management, she slaps the label on them. Plus try all ways and means to get these kids out of her class.

I'm sharing this because I would to warn you nice folks that not all teachers are accommodating. When enrolling your child, it's best to declare and specifally request for a teacher who is patient and has the ability to see the child's Potential despite the flaws. It's very important. Those with special needs in my son's class is being ignored by the teacher, she takes a hands off approach on them. So, I hope you would make a point to the school to ensure that your child is allocated to a caring teacher because not all teachers are that noble & accepting.

Then I'm very blessed. I didn't declare until the teacher was allocated. through these 3 years, he has gotten good teachers who were patient and kind. Even a new teacher who just graduated from NIE wasn't too bad. She may not know how to manage as well, but at least she didn't make it worse. The latest one brought the best in him.

Sometimes, u need to give credit to the teacher. Just because you think it's normal may not necessarily be so. You only deal with one or two kids, the teacher deals with 30 kids every day. So if she thinks something isn't as right, I don't think there's any harm getting the kid checked out. When the kid is checked out, then u will know for sure if she's right or wrong. Even for ASD kids, no two ASD kids are the same.

As for hands off, it really depends on what you want. A helicopter teacher? For me, my requirements are simple. That he learns something in school, he isn't disruptive and isn't bullied. I don't expect the teacher to be constantly watching his back or worse, picking on him. I would want him to be independent and accomplish the tasks given to him well.

My son had a very disruptive classmate whose parents resisted getting him assessed. They thought he is just a normal kid even though the teachers and principal thought he is hyperactive. They even think that the teacher is picking on him. The kid lied blatantly and his parents believed him. Yes, I know he was lying coz he said my son wanted to TALK to him and that's why he hit my son. As parents, we think they are the best children around and can choose to ignore symptoms.

It is not to teachers to discover their potential. I think if they could, that's a bonus. But otherwise, it is up to the parents. We as parents should and must work closely with the teachers. I cannot expect her to treat my son special just because he has special needs. In fact, if she can treat him like any of the other boys, I'm deeply appreciative. It means he can truly stay in the mainstream and blend in with the rest.

I agree that some teachers are terrible but there's nothing we can do other than support our children more outside of school. We can't be demanding for good teachers to care for our kids if not it may be better to send to pathlight. If we want to send to mainstream, then we have to accept that not all teachers are trained to handle special needs.

[sharonkhoo]

Blokus:

...I'm sharing this because I would to warn you nice folks that not all teachers are accommodating. When enrolling your child, it's best to declare and specifally request for a teacher who is patient and has the ability to see the child's Potential despite the flaws. It's very important. Those with special needs in my son's class is being ignored by the teacher, she takes a hands off approach on them. So, I hope you would make a point to the school to ensure that your child is allocated to a caring teacher because not all teachers are that noble & accepting.

I think it's probably not realistic to expect a teacher to focus so much on a SN child when she has 29 other students in the class. As long as she doesn't pick on the child, I think that may be as much as can be expected. When my daughter started P1 (overseas), she was in a class of 58! I knew I couldn't expect anything from the teacher other than not scolding my child for what she could not do, and the teacher was OK about it. If my child didn't do what was expected, she just worked around her and let her be, and I would check with her now and again. On my part, I coached my child in schoolwork myself, tried to inculcate good 'classroom habits' at home, and also coached her in social skills etc. My goal for P1 was just to have my child adjust to school, including not having a lot of adult supervision and attention, and academic work was secondary.

[ImMeeMee]

Blokus:

Hi

This is probably off topic but I just wanted to caution those of you who have kids entering main stream primary school.

My son is in P1 now, and the teacher is absurdly obsess with plastering 'special needs' label on the kids- whom to me look normal as normal can be. Just because the kids misbehave and she has poor management, she slaps the label on them. Plus try all ways and means to get these kids out of her class.

I'm sharing this because I would to warn you nice folks that not all teachers are accommodating. When enrolling your child, it's best to declare and specifally request for a teacher who is patient and has the ability to see the child's Potential despite the flaws. It's very important. Those with special needs in my son's class is being ignored by the teacher, she takes a hands off approach on them. So, I hope you would make a point to the school to ensure that your child is allocated to a caring teacher because not all teachers are that noble & accepting.

Hi Blokus, haven't seen you around the forum for quite a while. Hope things are fine with you and your child? I recall you are the parent who was struggling between 'special needs' and 'not special needs' border and decided that it was not afterall but still supporting your child in various ways? Do correct me if I am wrong.

My doter is in PL now so I cant comment much about this topic, but I trust that you come with truly kind intentions simply to let parents know about the potential pitfalls in the environment based on your own experience. I suppose all parents will have different experiences in each environment, and while we are all trying our best to manage expectations whether it be our own or others, it is quite intuitive that we just want to share and make sure the rest do not end up with the same problems that we had, if they do.

Thanks for the kind intention.

[Tamama]

Double E:

Mummies

Have u all tried bringing your kid to the dentist? How are they coping? did they freak out? I am contemplating to bring my son to one as his teeth has many brown stains which I can't brush off. But I am worried how he will react as it is, he is not fond of brushing teeth.

I brought my both kids to dentist since young. My younger one has ASD.
If your boy is totally new to this activity, I will suggest you to prep him first. Like showing him books on dentist visits, YouTube videos, bring him together to the dentist office to make the appt so that he can take a quick look of the place, ask the dentist if he has experience with special need kid, if not very confident, then let the first visit be a very short one. You have to communicate with the dentist first.
Bit by bit, hopefully your kid can get use to it. My elder girl always is the first one to hv her teeth checked in front of my younger one. And when it's my boys turn, we give lots of encouragement.
Since we schedule the dental check as a half yearly activity, my boy somehow got used to it already.
Take your time. Good luck.

[Tamama]

Twinkle rainbow:

Hi all ,


I have been trying to read this from the very 1st page but progress has been slow as I m only at p60+. I m think of sending my son for ABA at ABC center. Has anyone been there? I would appreciate any feedback.

This in advance.

Hi twinkle rainbow,
My boy is with abc center for 2+ years already.
They have a website and it's has quite a lot of info. What questions do you want to ask? How old is your boy? Do pm me if you want, as I am not reading this forum very frequently.