SAHP or working is better?

[sleepy]

sleepy:

Tri-mum:

Yes, we can move there as a family but being a KS parent, I'm afraid my DD cannot catch up with Spore's education system if we decide to come back 2 years later coz many told me International school are usually quite relax .

2 options

1. Homeschool your kids if you feel that international school's standard is not as high. Bring along assessment books to teach them. Alternatively, you can still send them to international school and provide them additional coaching at home.

2. If you are really not keen to go, can't ask hubby not to accept posting? Overseas posting is a decision that affects whole family so his boss would respect your decision too.

To add to point 1. You can retain your dd's 'seat' in primary school by continuing to pay school fees. When your family returns few years later, don't have to worry about searching for a school for her. Heard this from a friend who was posted to Shanghai

[Poonie]

MMM:

KSP:

Talking about phone charges, I have a colleague who went to China for 3 weeks and the phone bill was like more than S$3k!!! :!: :!: :!:

Yes... I think the per min call is not cheap. Can't remember if it is something like $3 per min. I always have to watch the clock when I talk to the family though it's paid by co. Don't want to overdo it. So I would do emails with hubby instead.

You can sign up a SKYPE account, hook up a webcam if you pc does not have one and talk to your loved ones via a mic. It does not cause you anything except the upfront infrastructure cost.

The family talk to my hubby this way almost every night. There is video too so we can each see each other.

[Tri-mum]

sleepy:

2. If you are really not keen to go, can't ask hubby not to accept posting? Overseas posting is a decision that affects whole family so his boss would respect your decision too.

actually he has been offered couple of times of overseas postings but he had turn down the offer due to family commitment (me don't like it lor) but this time I'll let him decide, don't want to be his stumbling block in his career advancement. If he really decide to go, I will take charge of his money (that's the T & C fm me)

[autumnbronze]

sleepy:

[quote=\"Tri-mum]

Yes, we can move there as a family but being a KS parent, I'm afraid my DD cannot catch up with Spore's education system if we decide to come back 2 years later coz many told me International school are usually quite relax .


2 options

1. Homeschool your kids if you feel that international school's standard is not as high. Bring along assessment books to teach them. Alternatively, you can still send them to international school and provide them additional coaching at home.

2. If you are really not keen to go, can't ask hubby not to accept posting? Overseas posting is a decision that affects whole family so his boss would respect your decision too.

[/quote]

Hi all,

I am just wondering for pt 2, if one declines the posting, would it affect one's ranking/promotion in the process???

Just enquiring cuz isn't that one of the factors that employers/bosses take into consideration??

Can someone clarify?? I SAHM lah ....

[autumnbronze]

Tri-mum:

Thanks for all your concern, isn't it great to have so many cyber friends around :love:

yup definitely :celebrate:

Tri-mum:

Actually, I intend to stay behind with my gal while he is there.....he will fly back fortnightly over the weekend and include this as part of the package. Budget airline is rather cheap and distance is short.

That sounds feasible

[sleepy]

autumnbronze:

I am just wondering for pt 2, if one declines the posting, would it affect one's ranking/promotion in the process???

Just enquiring cuz isn't that one of the factors that employers/bosses take into consideration??

Can someone clarify?? I SAHM lah ....

I suppose it depends on that particular company. For my dh's case, it didn't affect his annual increment or performance appraisal. But it's career limiting because to go 'further' in that company, he must accept posting overseas in order to advance to more senior levels. I didn't want to go to that particular location. So he changed company instead, didn't impact his career afterall. I suppose no point wasting more time in that ex-company since I won't change my mind & he can't change how his ex-company operates (must accept posting to advance up corporate ladder). So win win for both of us

[autumnbronze]

sleepy:

I suppose it depends on that particular company. For hubby's case, it didn't affect his annual increment or performance appraisal. But it's career limiting because to go 'further' in that company, he must accept posting overseas in order to advance to more senior levels. I didn't want to go to that particular location. So he changed job instead, didn't impact his career afterall. I suppose no point wasting more time in that company since I won't change my mind & he can't change how his ex-company operates. So win win for both of us

Okie, appreciate the clarification, sleepy

[toddles]

Lock:

I guess parenting is all about spending quality time with our kids and teaching them right, doesn't matter whether u r FTWM or SAHM.


I know a SAHM whose child spends half the time in sch and the other half attending tuitions and enrichment classes. She told me her kid is beyond her control and she just has to 'send' him out of the hse to keep herself sane. This is very sad cos the more she doesn't spend time with him, teaching him, the more out of control he will be.

When I 1st knew this family the kid is just 5 yrs old and was already very spoilt and behaved like a brat, now he is already 9 and has total disrespect for his mum. I witnessed a couple of times when he shouted at his mum and was very very rude, almost treating his mum like a ma

Back to the original topic, I guess the important thing, no matter whether SAHP or FTWP, is to make family the priority.

If there's a late meeting and you know your young child needs you at bedtime, then insisting on going home might signal to your bosses that you are willing to sacrifice speedy career advancement.

And I believe that there must first be quantity time before there can be quality time. Some parents outsource as much as they can to the maid or grandparents so that they can maintain their pre-child lifestyle and go out late with friends, etc. Then spend a few hours over the weekend with the kid and call it quality time.

I guess ultimately this will show up in how the child relates to the parent in the long run...

[Lock]

lovekidsverymuch:

toddles:

I guess ultimately this will show up in how the child relates to the parent in the long run...

So are you suggesting that woman should always be SAHP?

I think the key here is not whether to be SAHP or not but to know your priorities. As mentioned before, some SAHP do not spend quality time with their kids even when they have quantity time.

I feel a mother should always be a mother, ie your 1st responsibility shd be your kids. If you only have 1 hr with your kid daily, make sure the 1 hr is spent bonding with the kid, playing n sharing stories. This, to me, is better than a mom with 24hr a day but spent the whole day either sending the kid for tuitions, enrichments or doing homeworks, or just leaving the kid to play and occupy the time on his/her own.

It is all about being there for your kid emotionally and spiritually and not just physically.

[skunk]

Lock:

It is all about being there for your kid emotionally and spiritually and not just physically.

Although a parent can be present physically and absent emotionally, there's no way u can be absent physically and present emotionally.

I still maintain that it's best for the children if a parent can stay at home, depending on family circumstances. This doesn't mean all SAHP are good and all FTWP are bad, but if possible, a SAHP would do wonders not obvious immediately.

Afterall, a simple question will do: If u only have one hour left to live, would u choose to be in the office, or beside your child?