How to tell if a child is gifted?

[2ppaamm]

snowyqueen:

2ppaamm:

Thanks, snowyqueen for sharing. Did DD go for any intervention or social skills classes?

NO, because I refused to accept that she is not a normal child. It was selfish of me but I shared in this forum before that I managed to somehow correct her bahaviour by drilling her to perform academically. Strange enough, once she has confidence in her school work and with the support and encouragement of her IJ classmates and teachers, she managed to excel in her studies and slowly improve to be a sensible child. She is still stubborn in her bahaviour and sometimes rigid in thinking but waht really suprised me was that she could still manage to do well in studies given her problem. Of course, I must say that I also put in tremendous effort to ensure she has the confidence to perform in her school work i,e personal coaching and attending enrichment courses. Encouragement and being able to be recognised and praised is very important to her as she has low self-esteem.

It is hard to describe how i feel having come so far. I was tearing when I attended her last year school award ceremony for which she came first in class. My feeling was never the same as other mothers because seeing her to receive an award was something like a dream for me and something i dare not think when she was younger. I never imagine she could come this far as she is a AS child. Of course, she still has alot to learn and a lot of things to cope but the most important thing for a mother's perspective is that she is progressing and growing and improving year by year.

Sigh! I wish I can have the same thing to say when my AS child \"comes of age\".

I will tear, too. From what I read, girls find it easier to integrate than boys, but I am hopeful.

[corneyAmber]

Snowyqueen...your experience sounds so painful but :congrats: you did it!!


2ppaamm...there is hope, certainly there is...just one step at a time and persevere. :ugogirl:

[schweppes]

snowyqueen:

NO, because I refused to accept that she is not a normal child. It was selfish of me but I shared in this forum before that I managed to somehow correct her bahaviour by drilling her to perform academically. Strange enough, once she has confidence in her school work and with the support and encouragement of her IJ classmates and teachers, she managed to excel in her studies and slowly improve to be a sensible child. She is still stubborn in her bahaviour and sometimes rigid in thinking but what really suprised me was that she could still manage to do well in studies given her problem. Of course, I must say that I also put in tremendous effort to ensure she has the confidence to perform in her school work i,e personal coaching and attending enrichment courses. Encouragement and being able to be recognised and praised is very important to her as she has low self-esteem.

It is hard to describe how i feel having come so far. I was tearing when I attended her last year school award ceremony for which she came first in class. My feeling was never the same as other mothers because seeing her to receive an award was something like a dream for me and something i dare not think when she was younger. I never imagine she could come this far as she is a AS child. Of course, she still has alot to learn and a lot of things to cope but the most important thing for a mother's perspective is that she is progressing and growing and improving year by year. At least I do not have to cry quietly in the middle of the night before and asked why was my child born in this way? Why can't my child be just the same and normal as others?

Thanks Snowyqueen for sharing. I can imagine the anxiety that you went through and the relief and joy when you see your child improving. I really :salute: you for your strength and faith in your child.

:ugogirl:

[schweppes]

2ppaamm:

Sigh! I wish I can have the same thing to say when my AS child \"comes of age\".

I will tear, too. From what I read, girls find it easier to integrate than boys, but I am hopeful.

Hi 2ppaamm, take heart, I am sure things will gradually improve too. Just wondering, do you send your son for social skills and other intervention programs like OT?

I know of an educational psychologist who sees boys diagnosed with ASD. If you need her contact, let me know and I will PM to you.

[Fluffy]

My son who is now in Sec 2, is an Aspeger’s Syndrome child and only diagnosed and confirmed in end May of Pri5. When he was transferred to GEP program and in a new school, he was not able to cope with the new environment. No friends because he did not know how to socialise, seldom hand in homework and projects on time, or sometimes never hand in homework. Has been complained by teachers since Pri1 that he never pay attention during lessons but often day dream. When he was in nursey 1, teacher complained that she could not get my son to sit down like the rest of the students and listen to her teach or tell a story. My son usually wander around the class quietly and ignore her instruction. I had to transfer him out to another school which has 2 teachers in a class. During his P1 to P3, fortunately there were hardly homework given and if there is, he could quickly finish in less than half hour each day and for the rest of the day, he would read till the night all types of books, magazine, articles etc. He still does now.


End of P4 (1st year of GEP) , a senior teacher in the school advised to bring him for assessment as I would practically be called up by his various subjects teachers almost every day for something he has or has not done. Fortunately, my son is a mild temperament person and his behavioural conduct in school is usually excellent. Although I wanted him to be transferred to main stream, but the head of GEP and the principal refused my request. MOE GEP also rejected my request and insisted that it is better for him to stay in a class of 25 than 40 students.

My son’s 1st assessment was in Mount Elizabeth Behavioural Charter in Dec P4 where a young pyschologist preliminary diagnosis through interviews with both my husband and myself, and also my son confirmed he has AS. However, he told us that in Singapore, there are very few specialists in AS and as Mt E Behavioural Charter and all the pyschological clinics in Mt E, do not have anyone who could further help my son, he recommended another psychologist in a private clinic who was formally the resident psychologist in MOE. After many rounds of interviews with my son, his younger sister, both parents, a few tests and also surveys done with the school teachers, the psychologist confirmed my son has mild AS and recommended some strategies for the school and my family to follow. He also recommended a book "The Complete Guide to Aspeger Syndrome" by Tony Attwood.

In May P5 after SA1, my husband and son flew to Brisbane to meet Tony Attwood whereby he was confirmed definitely to be AS. He went for a few sessions with Tony Attwood as well as undergoing various tests and OT in SIN recommended by Tony. He was only confirmed having Irlen Syndrome late last year and also suffering from auditory processing disorder. All these conditions were the cause of him not handing up his homework on time or never done his work as he simply could not hear the teachers’ teaching properly during lessons and he has problems seeing the words on the white board.

Till today, he still has the same problems, but because we informed the school teachers of his condition, they were able to make arrangement to ensure that he follows the class lessons most of the time. Due to our early intervention in encouraging and teaching him the appropriate social skills by creating many opportunities through arrangement of gatherings with his classmates and friends, encouraging many of his peers to approach him for play or other activities, he learns practical social skills through re-enforcing daily, weekly and monthly.

Whatever your child is labelled or diagnosed, family support is very important and don’t be discourage by his diagnosis. Read up as many books and articles as possible, attend parenting courses and any workshop/talks that could help you to assist your child. Every Child Is UNIQUE and GIFTED! My son is special to me for whoever and whatever he is. He is funny, talented and I just discovered from relatives’ comment that he has a caring and understanding HEART! He may not be the best in terms of academic performance but he is the BEST in my EYES!

[Fluffy]

Like many of you, I used to spend the night crying and day asking why do I have such a difficult child to handle.


As I learn more of his condition and lower my expectation, my son is happier and I am happier.

I hope all of you parents who are going through the same experiences not to be discouraged and disheartened. This forum has difinitely help to open our eyes that we are not alone in our problems and if there is any comfort to anyone of you is to know that eventually better times will come.

[schweppes]

Fluffy:

Like many of you, I used to spend the night crying and day asking why do I have such a difficult child to handle.


As I learn more of his condition and lower my expectation, my son is happier and I am happier.

I hope all of you parents who are going through the same experiences not to be discouraged and disheartened. This forum has difinitely help to open our eyes that we are not alone in our problems and if there is any comfort to anyone of you is to know that eventually better times will come.

Thank you Fluffy for sharing.

My dd1 was diagnosed with auditory processing disorder when she was about 9yo. It was a real struggle and very painful to find out and yet finding out was liberating, as we knew what the problem was and could help her accordingly.

DD1 is 13 now and she has come a long way, improving so much over the years. She diligently does all her homework and remembers to hand in her homework on time. Her main issues are that she finds it hard to process information, so this sometimes affect her academic performance. Despite her challenges, she never gave up. In fact, her teachers often describe her as a \"resilient\" and \"tenacious\" child; someone who tries her best and never gives up.

I think we tend to see \"gifted\" as IQ related and excellent academic performance. But I truly believe that there is more to life than that. Every child is different and gifted in their own special way.

So, she may not be \"gifted\" in an academic sense, but my dh and myself see her gifts as being resilient and having personal strength, because those gifts are what have seen her through some of her darkest moments in life. And, more importantly, she is our gift from God. :celebrate:

[snowyqueen]

Fluffy:

Till today, he still has the same problems, but because we informed the school teachers of his condition, they were able to make arrangement to ensure that he follows the class lessons most of the time. Due to our early intervention in encouraging and teaching him the appropriate social skills by creating many opportunities through arrangement of gatherings with his classmates and friends, encouraging many of his peers to approach him for play or other activities, he learns practical social skills through re-enforcing daily, weekly and monthly.


Whatever your child is labelled or diagnosed, family support is very important and don't be discourage by his diagnosis. Read up as many books and articles as possible, attend parenting courses and any workshop/talks that could help you to assist your child. Every Child Is UNIQUE and GIFTED!

Hi Fluffy, thanks for sharing. I would also not dare to think that my girl will be perfectly normal as she also still has problems.It is just that she is improving and behaving better and better. She also used to wander in class till P1 so much so that her teacher had to call me often to inform me of her problems as she was distracting the class.

I told the teacher her problem after the P1 SA1 meet parents session. I told the teacher my girl probably needed a lot of encouragement. The teacher was kind to help my child. She would ask the whole class to clap if my girl did a Maths problem sum correctly on the whiteboard and she would also put stars on her test papers if she did well. This little thing was very important for my girl as she also began to be conscious of her school work and behaviour such that she did not want to do things to make the teacher angry. She now understands what is responsibility and she cannot anyhow insist on doing the things that she likes/wants. She also know what is accomodating and compromising which AS child has problem coping.

That day I almost stunned when she told me she has a boyfriend in one of the enrichment class. I also don't know to be happy or angry? I am happy that she can now talk to boys, an improvement on her social deficiency. As she is in a girl's school, my purpose of enrolling her to enrichment/tuition classes is also to let her interact with different children and improve on her social skills. To me making her attending different enrichment classes is not to stress her as she is never stressed by all these. She is very lazy but she enjoys going to all these classes. My tactic of one stone kills two birds finally paid off because she can learn academically and at the same time she also has chance to socalise. It takes 2-3 years and a lot of time and money investment to see the results but I have no complaint. It is worth the effort.

My experience is don't give up, there are ways to help this kind of child. As parents, we need to make effort to make it happen and not wait for miracle to jump from the sky .

By the way, I do notice almost all AS child has some talent in them. I think it is because they are AS and that's why they are a bit different depending how mild or serious their conditions are. I truely believe their brain structure is different from a normal child.

[Blobbi]

Fluffy:

Like many of you, I used to spend the night crying and day asking why do I have such a difficult child to handle.


As I learn more of his condition and lower my expectation, my son is happier and I am happier.

I hope all of you parents who are going through the same experiences not to be discouraged and disheartened. This forum has difinitely help to open our eyes that we are not alone in our problems and if there is any comfort to anyone of you is to know that eventually better times will come.

You have company. :snuggles: Yup, hoping that things will eventually improve.

[Blobbi]

snowyqueen:

My experience is don't give up, there are ways to help this kind of child. As parents, we need to make effort to make it happen and not wait for miracle to jump from the sky .

Totally agree, snowyqueen. My kid is not aspergers - at least, he went through a screen and observation and found to be not. Anyway, we have to make the effort to help them ease into society. They'll be so much happier in the long run, I believe.