schweppes:

My dd1 was diagnosed with auditory processing disorder when she was about 9yo. It was a real struggle and very painful to find out and yet finding out was liberating, as we knew what the problem was and could help her accordingly.


DD1 is 13 now and she has come a long way, improving so much over the years. She diligently does all her homework and remembers to hand in her homework on time. Her main issues are that she finds it hard to process information, so this sometimes affect her academic performance. Despite her challenges, she never gave up. In fact, her teachers often describe her as a \"resilient\" and \"tenacious\" child; someone who tries her best and never gives up.

Sometimes it may be a blessing in disguise for our kids. When they understand their condition and know the amount of effort, support and encouragement their parents and family have put forth, they become stronger in their personality and like your DD1, became a more \"resilient\" person.

My son too grow more mature and stronger in personality. He refused to go back to Brisbane for more session with Tony Attwood because he felt that we have been spending too much on him. He feels that he can try to overcome some of the difficulties by making sure he sit in front of the class and ask his classmates for help for note taking etc. He also make it a point to wear his Irlen Lens to reduce the Irlen Syndrome which in the past he was rather uncomfortable with it. He make the effort to help himself which to me is the greatest effort in being more independent.

I know it takes many times more effort for our children to process the information passing through them. It can be very exhausting for the little effort they take compare to a normal child. We should try to support and encourage them as much as possible. My son who has Executive Functioning Disorder has difficulties with skills of executive functioning including working memory, difficulties with organisation, planning, time management, prioritising, and concentration. These skills unfortunately do not get better with practice because according to tests, the front lobe of his brain is underdeveloped. Hence, I have to be his \"personal assistance\" at times. If we are able to help and support them on mundane activities, AS kids would be able to focus their energy on maximising their potential and talent. Usually they have very narrow interest and if given right opportunity, exposure and support, they will be able to excel beyond our imagination.

Example of famous AS people are Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, Bill Gates, Beethoven, Tom Hank and many others.

I have a severly Autistic nephew who can fix a 100 pieces jigsaw puzzle within 15 mins when he was only 6 years old. His concentration was so intense and focus that nobody could pull him out of the puzzle despite repeated persuasion.

With right intervention, we will be able to help these children.

Like many of you, I used to spend the night crying and day asking why do I have such a difficult child to handle.


As I learn more of his condition and lower my expectation, my son is happier and I am happier.

I hope all of you parents who are going through the same experiences not to be discouraged and disheartened. This forum has difinitely help to open our eyes that we are not alone in our problems and if there is any comfort to anyone of you is to know that eventually better times will come.

My son who is now in Sec 2, is an Aspeger’s Syndrome child and only diagnosed and confirmed in end May of Pri5. When he was transferred to GEP program and in a new school, he was not able to cope with the new environment. No friends because he did not know how to socialise, seldom hand in homework and projects on time, or sometimes never hand in homework. Has been complained by teachers since Pri1 that he never pay attention during lessons but often day dream. When he was in nursey 1, teacher complained that she could not get my son to sit down like the rest of the students and listen to her teach or tell a story. My son usually wander around the class quietly and ignore her instruction. I had to transfer him out to another school which has 2 teachers in a class. During his P1 to P3, fortunately there were hardly homework given and if there is, he could quickly finish in less than half hour each day and for the rest of the day, he would read till the night all types of books, magazine, articles etc. He still does now.


End of P4 (1st year of GEP) , a senior teacher in the school advised to bring him for assessment as I would practically be called up by his various subjects teachers almost every day for something he has or has not done. Fortunately, my son is a mild temperament person and his behavioural conduct in school is usually excellent. Although I wanted him to be transferred to main stream, but the head of GEP and the principal refused my request. MOE GEP also rejected my request and insisted that it is better for him to stay in a class of 25 than 40 students.

My son’s 1st assessment was in Mount Elizabeth Behavioural Charter in Dec P4 where a young pyschologist preliminary diagnosis through interviews with both my husband and myself, and also my son confirmed he has AS. However, he told us that in Singapore, there are very few specialists in AS and as Mt E Behavioural Charter and all the pyschological clinics in Mt E, do not have anyone who could further help my son, he recommended another psychologist in a private clinic who was formally the resident psychologist in MOE. After many rounds of interviews with my son, his younger sister, both parents, a few tests and also surveys done with the school teachers, the psychologist confirmed my son has mild AS and recommended some strategies for the school and my family to follow. He also recommended a book "The Complete Guide to Aspeger Syndrome" by Tony Attwood.

In May P5 after SA1, my husband and son flew to Brisbane to meet Tony Attwood whereby he was confirmed definitely to be AS. He went for a few sessions with Tony Attwood as well as undergoing various tests and OT in SIN recommended by Tony. He was only confirmed having Irlen Syndrome late last year and also suffering from auditory processing disorder. All these conditions were the cause of him not handing up his homework on time or never done his work as he simply could not hear the teachers’ teaching properly during lessons and he has problems seeing the words on the white board.

Till today, he still has the same problems, but because we informed the school teachers of his condition, they were able to make arrangement to ensure that he follows the class lessons most of the time. Due to our early intervention in encouraging and teaching him the appropriate social skills by creating many opportunities through arrangement of gatherings with his classmates and friends, encouraging many of his peers to approach him for play or other activities, he learns practical social skills through re-enforcing daily, weekly and monthly.

Whatever your child is labelled or diagnosed, family support is very important and don’t be discourage by his diagnosis. Read up as many books and articles as possible, attend parenting courses and any workshop/talks that could help you to assist your child. Every Child Is UNIQUE and GIFTED! My son is special to me for whoever and whatever he is. He is funny, talented and I just discovered from relatives’ comment that he has a caring and understanding HEART! He may not be the best in terms of academic performance but he is the BEST in my EYES!

Hi,


I have been away for past weeks and :imsorry: for not thanking all of fellow parents out there earlier who have been so supportive and understanding. Really appreciate your kind words. :thankyou: You have given me strength to continue to believe in my son and guide him, ensuring he will one day be able to survive on his own independently.

So far, I am very happy with RI's education program (although a little stressful at times which is OK). I have seen him mature a little since he started Sec 1 this year. His involvement in sport as a CCA has been instrumental in helping him to be a more resilent child. At times he lamented that the trainings were so tough but never once he wanted to quit. He will be going overseas for trainings and competition during this holiday. The overseas program seems rigorous and a few students back out but I am so happy that he perseveres.

My son unlike some students does not have many opportunities to participate in workshops or represent the school in various competitions or events in RI. He is neither in leadership position or has the abilties to excel in additional CCA. He is just an average kid who can only focus on 1 CCA and have to work hard to acheive mediocre result. BUT I believe he will pick up valuable LIFE SKILLS in RI.

TO THE PARENTS WHO BELIEVE IN YOUR CHILD AND ACCEPT WHO HE IS, I APPLAUD YOU! :salute:

It is so sad to hear students and parents making judgement on other children about their intelligence level and the need to engage tutors despite being in a top school.


There is a parent from RI who had to engage tutors for almost all the subjects for their son because this boy is a special needs child and although his intelligence level is high but he is not able to follow through the school lessons due to his disability. Unfortunately, many people like to criticise without understanding the child’s background. The parent was very unhappy as their son was periodically mocked by his classmates.

My son is also a Special Needs student with executive function disorder, Irlen Syndrom and APD although many psychologist, teachers and tutors who know him well understand his potential and abilities. He has to work harder than anybody else. I do not feel a need to explain his disability but have also receive many criticism for his "fake" intelligence level. I do not expect high academic performance level from my son as I believe as long as he achieve average result and has a well balance school life, is happy and gets along well with his classmates and friends, he will go far in his own way. My son is by nature non-competitive, easily contented and good temper. He gets along well with his classmates and seniors. I only wants him to have good memories of his school life in RI.

tamarind:

[quote]
Parents have to do what is necessary for the child, even though it may be drastic. Remove all access from computers and ban all forms of electronic games. P3 is not still not too late. By the time the boy is over 18 years old, it will be hopeless.

[/quote]I agreed with Tamarind! My son almost became addicted to computer gaming from P4 to P6. I put my foot down and cut off access with password. It takes time to change their addiction. Be patient. I introduce more healthy activities as a family such as board games, outdoor sports incl in-line skating & cycling. I also bring my children to library and bookshops every other weekend. They picked up 2 music instruments each and now have no time for computer gaming. But I allow them to join Facebook and occassionally have fun with them on some Facebook game which is non-addictive. I perserve and succeed.

I have gone to a few Cyberwellness workshop where the speaker advised to delay exposing our children to internet gaming as late as possible. If you know how serious is addiction to computer gaming and the drastic consequences, you will never let your children touch computer. Unfortunately, this is impossible at this age of technology. Just steer them away from this evil habit as much as possible (if they need to use the computer for project, make sure you sit next to them and guide). Participate more in other activities and they will slowly lose interest. Inform the school and and get the teachers and counsellors' support as peer influence is often culprit of computer gaming addiction.

Coincidentally today, I spoke to a friend who mentioned to me about the Seng Kang’s student case. She also pointed out there are alot of children’s suicide cases not reported in the newspaper. I agreed because my husband’s ex colleague’s son jumped down from his home last year at age of 12. No report at all and all hush hush. There was no pre-sign at all and parents are quite easy going, hardly gave him stress. An above average boy in a neighbourhood school. He indulged in computer gaming, comics and story books like Mr Midnight and ghosts stuff. All was discovered later in his room was strange drawings of icons which may be related to cult following. Till now, parents could not draw a conclusion what make him take the no return route.


That’s a reminder for all parents to :

Do not focus only on children’s academic
Pay attention to their emotional well being
Know their interest and guide them (steer clear from improper influence esp from media - internet & TV)
Spend time with them (quality & quantity)
Set a ritual time with children to allow them to express their inner thoughts
Do not judge their’s opinion but have an open mind

tamarind:

The top few students should spend more time developing in other areas which they are interested in, like arts, music, sports, etc. They should also gain a wide range of knowledge, instead of spending all their time doing countless assessment books of the same subject, just so that they can get perfect marks.

My mum was not educated and she wanted to give me and siblings good education. However, she never pressure us to be top in class but she expected us to read widely and gain more knowledge. She saved to buy us a set of encyclopedia and encouraged us to read the newspaper for current affairs. I started earning my own pocket money every holiday since 13 years old and on reflection, I gain alot of experience and was more \"street smart\" than the average teenagers. By the time I graduated and started working in a MNC, I was able to handle human relationship in the office better than most colleagues. I enjoyed healthy relationship with both people of my age and higher level management.

Children nowadays are told to focus on their study and nothing else by parents, teachers and society! Is that healthy? Many lack \"Life Skills\". I fear for the next generation!

I am surprised that there are primary schools still adopting the ranking of all the students. I thought that school only practise rewarding top few students in class or cohort. I think this is healthy to encourage other students to work harder and to recognise students’ efforts. It is quite unhealthy to rank everybody especially for the students who are in the last few ranks of the class, they will feel very demoralise and embarass.


When my son was diagnosed with special needs, my sister in law tried to persuade us to bring him to Canada where she migrated. She feels that the education system in Canada is more supportive of special needs students and there are no excessive pressure to excel among the students and parents. Students who are talented in certain academic subjects, arts, music or sports are given opportunity to focus on the discipline they are keen and wish to develop and progress at advance level.

In Singapore, the education system is such that if you are in GEP, you are deemed to be gifted in all subjects and have to persue all subjects at a much advance and indepth level. In main stream, students have to be all rounded as this is reflected in the PSLE scoring system. Unfortunately, I have spoken to numerous parents who feel that their children have to spend more time working hard on the weaker subject at the expense of the subject they are more interested to develop further. I believe this education system may be one of the factor that driven many parents to engage tutors and enrol their children in enrichment classes. Basically, parents may not believe that the school is doing enough to help their children and perhaps this is another form of outsourcing help for their children especially both parents work long hours these days.

My advice if you have young kids please do not to join group tour that include 3 countries in a short 10 days. It requires early morning departure each morning and going back to hotel late at night just to cover many places within the short period. Lack of sleep and rest for both adults and children will be a frustrating experience. Europe tour usually does not have many program tailor for kids. Hence, if you have younger children, they may not appreciate the beautiful scenary, musem and historical visits. It is best to go free and easy and join day or short days tours from a base city. If you have only 2 weeks, plan around 2 countries and your family can enjoy the countries at a more comfortable pace.


Every season in Europe has its beauty. Winter has its advantages and less people to jostle with. Also, enjoy the cold weather and have a cup of tea/coffee with your loves ones in Paris side street, or browse through the many chocolate shops in Belgium with your children.

My family will be going to London and Paris in Nov/Dec. We always travel free & easy and never try to go to many places in a short period. We plan to visit my husband’s college and my daughter wants to visit Cambridge and Oxford for its fame university. Enjoy a leisure holiday. Don’t be rush! Our relationship with our children became closer as we have more time to communicate on subjects which we seldom touch on in Singapore.