Difficult Relationship with Parents

[mummy of 2]

Well, my mother has always been like that but she's become more stubborn this few years, after getting to know some auntie downstairs. She prefers to listen to that auntie rather than her own daughters, when we try to reason with her.


When I was growing up, my parents always quarrelled. She's living with my brother, and i really sympathise with him. There's conflict between almost everybody in that family - my father and my mother, my mother and my SIL, my brother and my SIl. So there's always some quarrel/cold war going on. Exhausting to live in such a family. I would go :frustrated:

[mummy of 2]

sakura_2009:

mummy of 2:

Yes, the visits are nothing more than an obligation. I'm more than happy to tell her I can't make it, if there's any plausible excuse. Bad daughter but I really can't help it.

Hi, mummy of 2 - may I asked if you have siblings and if you do, what is their relationship with your mum? If its not convenient to mention, its ok...

My sis used to be the favoured daughter, but after she started trying to speak up for my father, my mother is very angry with ehr, and always complaining about her to me. So I imagine she mst hv compplained abt me to my sis before.

My bro has no choice but to live with her, as she's the traditional thinking type, must live with son, and he is, needless to say, her favourite child. My siblings are much older than me, and when I was young, my brother used to bully me by making me run errands for him. I feel that my mother has actually done him a disservice by over-pampering him.

[sakura_2009]

mummy of 2:

Well, my mother has always been like that but she's become more stubborn this few years, after getting to know some auntie downstairs. She prefers to listen to that auntie rather than her own daughters, when we try to reason with her.


When I was growing up, my parents always quarrelled. She's living with my brother, and i really sympathise with him. There's conflict between almost everybody in that family - my father and my mother, my mother and my SIL, my brother and my SIl. So there's always some quarrel/cold war going on. Exhausting to live in such a family. I would go :frustrated:

Wah! That's kinda 'xiong' for your brother & SIL...

My mum lives with my dad, and well, my brother (who has always been my mum's favourite by the way) has told me and my sister that there is no way my mum is going to stay with him and my SIL. He said he doesn't want to go :frustrated:

[foreverj]

hi there


i am back i can't really vote cos i can't say my r/s with in-laws is that fantastic. anyway, r/s with my parents was really bad at one time. whenever i miss my weekly visit, wil kena scolded. when dd not close to them (since they seldom play with her even when we visit), they blame it on the fact we dun come weekly.

but fact is, when we are around, my mum wil b taking nap or busy cooking in kitchen. dad is also not the type who r good with kids. so its like they just want our \"presence\" in the house lor...

nowadays is better. but r/s is \"superficial\" as in we dun really confide in each other. just that we dun argue. sigh, talking abt arguing, bad r/s started when me and siblings were teenagers (sec school). mum started working when i started sec 1. before that, we were really close cos she works from home and was able to be around for us to coach us to study plus cook etc. after she started work, she would be so tired after work. when we try to reason with them, and they can't win on reasoning, they would say \"we r right becos we say so\". so after a while, we stopped talking to them. in fact i dun dare to comment on things in front of my dad. eg. if i comment something new on the road, he will scold me and say y i so unobservant, haven't seen it earlier? very negative lor.

thats y for me, i m a bit scared to go back to work, even when dd is much older cos i could see where that led to, for my family. also thats y i try to respect dd, consider her feelings and see things from her point of view.

[mummy of 2]

sakura_2009:

Wah! That's kinda 'xiong' for your brother & SIL...


My mum lives with my dad, and well, my brother (who has always been my mum's favourite by the way) has told me and my sister that there is no way my mum is going to stay with him and my SIL. He said he doesn't want to go :frustrated:

Yes, in fact I think she's a contributing factor to their frequent quarrel/cold war.

[foreverj]

mummy of 2:

When I was growing up, my parents always quarrelled. She's living with my brother, and i really sympathise with him. There's conflict between almost everybody in that family - my father and my mother, my mother and my SIL, my brother and my SIl. So there's always some quarrel/cold war going on. Exhausting to live in such a family. I would go :frustrated:

:!: can't believe your brother can take it!

for me, i tel dh even i dun want to stay with my mum, can't imagine my SIL has to put up with her... guess thats y she rather work fulltime.

[mummy of 2]

foreverj:

:!: can't believe your brother can take it!


for me, i tel dh even i dun want to stay with my mum, can't imagine my SIL has to put up with her... guess thats y she rather work fulltime.

I can't imagine how he copes with it too! A lot of time I feel very sorry for him, because he has to live in such an environment, r/p with SIL not good, not close to his kids, financially not well-off too.

[foreverj]

mummy of 2:

I can't imagine how he copes with it too! A lot of time I feel very sorry for him, because he has to live in such an environment, r/p with SIL not good, not close to his kids, financially not well-off too.

huh, so sad... could it be your mum affecting his r/s with SIL?

[mummy of 2]

foreverj:

huh, so sad... could it be your mum affecting his r/s with SIL?

Definitely. My mother does not like her. Can't say who's right or who's wrong since it's between the two of them. But my mother tends to nag my brother about SIL, and i think they quarrel because of that. It's also partly becos my bro doesnt know how to handle the situation between the two of them. Instead of pacifying them, he makes things worse.

[sakura_2009]

mummy of 2:

I can't imagine how he copes with it too! A lot of time I feel very sorry for him, because he has to live in such an environment, r/p with SIL not good, not close to his kids, financially not well-off too.

Actually my brother left the house with my SIL many years back because of this. He said he couldn't continue to live and stay in such a 'quarrelsome and unhealthy' family environment. I was staying with them at that time because I was still a student then...

Nevertheless, I have to 'admire' your brother for his 'tolerance' level...