All About Autism

[tyeogh]

Hi seoulover,

Happy to have helped. Many kind parents helped me here years ago so I wish to pay it forward.

I cannot tell you what to do so I will tell you what I did.

My son started AWWA EIPIC with 2 days a week. Then, they did not have a 3 days program. I wrote in to ask for more days and I believe, with similar requests from other parents, they surveyed, found their demand and organized a 3 days program the next year.

You are right about keeping the other free days to do \"homework\" on her. You can't rush such things. The only other public EIPIC I am aware of that offers 4 days is ARC. It shares the same campus with Pathlight and offers direct access into Pathlight at Primary 1. By direct, it means ARC students need not go through Pathlight assessors again since they share assessors and therefore get priority. I did apply and was offered a place in ARC. I turned it down because they did not offer a transport solution.

When my son was 2.5 y.o., he attended mainstream kindergarten in the morning. Then he goes for AWWA in the afternoon with my helper. My wife and me work, so we can't send him there.

According to his mainstream kindy teachers, he was a nightmare. They called him \"opposition party\". He wouldn't comply. Likely because he could not communicate and he wanted things his way. So he will whine, cry, bang his head on the floor etc. We insisted on keeping him at a mainstream kindergarten for the same reason your KKH OT suggested - to let him interact with NT kids. We avoided his kindy teacher each time she wanted to complain. What to do? She and her principal eventually recommended DS to stay back 1 year in Nursery level else they will refuse us a place. I readily agreed. He is now back to his age appropriate class at K2 because of his rapid progress.

On your question of a private ST, being a bona fide kiasu parent, we got him private ST at 2.5 y.o. It was a tumultuous journey. We sent him to Olive Tree at United Square. They kept changing ST. ST kept resigning after targets were set and DS got acclimatized. By the 4th ST, I gave up. Looked up Dynamics. Found that pretty German blonde's CV. She was equipped with PROMPT qualification. She taught my son well. Then, she had to go back to Germany to get married. (More of industry high turnover norm than Murphy's Law). Her replacement was an Aussie woman. She set goals that sounded more like grammar than speech. By then, I realized DS was more or less talking enough and it was not worth paying ST rates to learn grammar so I stopped it. I think DS was 4 y.o. then.

I never considered Dynamics EIPIC because I didn't think it would match up to AWWA's.

Yes, compliance was an issue I had with my son. However it should not be an issue for an experienced ST. You are right in not getting the full mileage out of each session. That's how the cookie crumbles for people like us, unfortunately. Sigh

[sharonkhoo]

Autumnleaf:

Hello parents,


I am looking for a recommendation of a child physcoligist who is able able to assess / diagnose autism, on older child, age 10.

Currently I am on waitlist with NUH, but the wait is indefinite and with my DS already in P4, I am getting quite anxious to get done with formal assessment.

I had originally opened up my concerns of my son through his school councillor at p2, and they linked us to NUH, but till now the progression is crazily slow. I am looking to apply for MT exemption if he is diagnosed to have ASD as it will seriously pull down his marks in PSLE.
He had done quite alright for p1 and P2 but since p3, his Chinese is quickly coming down, and I believe the oral component is one of the Areas he is struggling. He lost 10 marks for oral alone, while his peers usually score full marks still, so once can imagine how his MT grades are gonna look like as he gets to p5 & p6.

Can I ask if the mummies with ASD children struggle with meal times with their ASD child? This is one area that is the biggest struggle for us, ever since my 10 yr old started weaning.

Do share some contacts if you have any to recommend. Greatly appreciate all the help.

What makes you suspect ASD? Your main description seems to be about his weak MT, which is not necessarily an ASD issue. My daughter, who has Asperger's, is actually quite OK with MT, but we had her exempted because we have been overseas for too many years for her to catch up, and she has other learning disabilities which have made Maths (more important than MT, in my opinion), a real struggle. Is his difficulty with oral because of social interaction difficulties or does he have other issues? I know my daughter would have difficulty with oral, but more because of her poor auditory processing.

What difficulties does your son have with food? My daughter had difficulty chewing and swallowing in the early years due to motor coordination issues, but by 10yo she was OK (she's just turned 18). Again, that's not necessarily an ASD issue. She still avoids sticky and mushy foods, avoids very cold foods like ice cream (both mushy and cold), and is quite unadventurous with food. But she does eat enough variety that she will always be able to find something to eat.

The psychologist that I brought my daughter to when she was 14yo is apparently very busy with long waiting lists. I hope someone else can recommend another one to you.

[sharonkhoo]

Has anyone watched "The Imitation Game"? I just watched it yesterday. It portrays Alan Turing as a man with Asperger’s (although in real life, he was only quirky, not as severe as portrayed). It was an interesting portrayal of what such a person can be as an adult, and also quite heart-wrenching for those of us who have kids like that. Very good acting by Cumberbatch.

[tyeogh]

Nope. Just Rainman and that was years ago. Why would I want to watch a movie to further break my heart?


My wife picked a korean drama about an autistic doctor. I questioned her why would she want to voluntarily watch something she knows she will cry to.

Maybe this is the difference between us. You Venus people are weird to us Martians.

Don't hammer me hor. Each of you have one at home

[pinkamoon]

Hi slmkhoo & tyeogh, I watched it and I like the movie too. Watching the movie did not further break my heart although I must admit that I did for a second suddenly thought of my son and what if bullying takes place in school too.


Not many movies give us a chance to peek into lives and futures of people in the spectrum. To me, these are opportunities to help me prepare and warn me of future challenges that my son may face. tyeogh, if you think your wife only likes to cry while watching dramas, there are plenty of titles to choose from. Have you not thought of y that particular one? It is for the hope it gives her (doctor) and challenges he may face as a doctor with ASD. In this aspect, you are no match to your wife. No matter how painful it gets, she is not afraid of opening the old wound. It is this courage that we parents need to help our children on this journey.

Maybe you can try to get a pair of tickets to the movie and watch it with your wife. Don't be afraid, you will be fine.


“Sometimes it’s the people no one imagines anything of who do the things no one can imagine\"

[sharonkhoo]

pinkamoon:

Hi slmkhoo & tyeogh, I watched it and I like the movie too. Watching the movie did not further break my heart although I must admit that I did for a second suddenly thought of my son and what if bullying takes place in school too.


Not many movies give us a chance to peek into lives and futures of people in the spectrum. To me, these are opportunities to help me prepare and warn me of future challenges that my son may face. tyeogh, if you think your wife only likes to cry while watching dramas, there are plenty of titles to choose from. Have you not thought of y that particular one? It is for the hope it gives her (doctor) and challenges he may face as a doctor with ASD. In this aspect, you are no match to your wife. No matter how painful it gets, she is not afraid of opening the old wound. It is this courage that we parents need to help our children on this journey.

Maybe you can try to get a pair of tickets to the movie and watch it with your wife. Don't be afraid, you will be fine.

“Sometimes it’s the people no one imagines anything of who do the things no one can imagine\"

No, not heart-breaking, just heart-wrenching. But it was also encouraging to see that others can accept such a person, and that there will be those who are attracted to such people. It's also a reminder about how others will find our kids mystifying - we have got so used to it that we don't notice their traits that much.

tyeogh - my husband watched with me, and we both had a good chuckle over the way some of the other people found Turing (as portrayed) strange - we found it quite \"normal\"!

[Autumnleaf]

Slmkhoo, thanks for sharing some of your experience on your daughter. Well, I am not sure it is ASD, though after a couple years of extensive reading and observing, I decided it’s time to stop guessing this and that or waiting to see if my son would grow out of certain things as the older he gets, the syptoms seems to be more obvious, especially as I watch the development of my 6 year old girl. Namely her social skills & motor skills. I often get comments that DS seems in his own world, and I have observed his communication is quite one sided, when others talk to him, he appears to not hear and if he replies, it’s very vague. He tends to take things very literal too, so we have to be careful with our choice of phrases.


For food difficulties, basically since day 1 of starting foods, he seems to struggle with swallowing and chewing, and at 10 years old he still has some difficulties with it. He is still sharing half an adult serve with his 6 yr old sister, and often she actually finishes before him. He won’t take anything saucy, red or mushy too.

I initially suspected he may have adhd due to numerous feedback from teachers of him easily becoming off task, and easily distracted. This was on K1 or K2 however at the advice of his then teachers, they said he probably just needs time to mature. He had been doing okay for p1-p3, however I noticed in p3 his oral for both english and Chinese starts to fall, especially oral, and the year end report he got C for communication skills. Also as english comprehension advances, I find he is struggling with the open ended components, where inferring is required. So in view of this, I am hoping to get done with the assessment and if found he is having ASD , possible exemption for him from MT as I am struggling with him everyday on eating along with just getting things done, plus caring for my 6yr old and 8 month old baby.
My dS1 drains my energy so much, always getting in trouble with me also for his compulsion and impulsiveness. Often me and Hb are just confused, whether this kid is defiant or having any condition. But we have been disciplining him when he had disobeyed us and talking to him trying to find out why he did those things repeatedly, know very well he’d get in trouble over it… I couldn’t imagine a kid being caned for the same thing 3 times in a week over the same thing…
The MT exemption is one reason to seek professional Assessment, also just to know if maybe I should be dealing with him as a "stubborn" kid.

[phtthp]

Hi Autumnleaf,


maybe your son not autistic.
perhaps having short attention span, lack concentration.
Does he lack retention of memory, when come to learning Science concepts ? (P4 : got Science) where you oftenhave to keep repeating the same thing a few times, just to help him absorb, remember, retain memory ?

Perhaps you may go to Polyclinic, ask them write a letter, to refer you to Child Guidance clinic, at Health promotion board. (Outram Park)
Since he already P4 : he can’t go to KK hospital, anymore.
KK hospital is for pre-schoolers.
Child guidance clinic is for (P1 to P6.)
Over there, child psychologist will run detailed tests, on the child.
Eg : if child has short attention span, they can run tests for this.
Since you mention that your child is easily distracted, it may have to do with attention span, focus. May not be autism.
And counsel both child + parents.
As you go through Polyclinic : charges are subsidized, for SC.

If at the end of the tests, if tested negative, even though the report may come to nothing, at least you are assured, & know the direction to move on.

If at the end tests show neither autism nor short attention span, there is something else called "language impairment".
Language impairment has quite a bit of repurcussion, on academic progress. They may have to run tests, for this.

Or maybe there is no language impairment.
Just that you seldom let him be exposed to Chinese oral material, reading of Chinese storybooks. Hence, his Chinese vocab v limited, can’t describe the nouns, adjectives, adverbs in Chinese, during Oral tests.

Maybe he has short attention span, easily distracted issue. But bec not resolved when young and P1 / P2 school work easy, so went un-noticed. Now that P4 work become more difficult, can’t ignore the symptoms, anymore.

Besides these tests, child psychologists will also talk to the child.
Eg : why did not follow instructions, inspite of being told not to do so ?
They will observe the child’s behavior, talk to child, try to find out how he think, how he feel, why is he behaving like that ? Is child being traumatized, internally within himself ?

When u say he is defiant, did you sit down try to understand why did he do that "defiant" action ? Did he try to give excuses, to justify that the "defiant" action, is correct, nothing wrong to him, as far as he is concerned ? If Yes, you may need to spend some time with him, teach him explain to him what is right, from what is wrong. Otherwise he may grow up thinking that what he is doing is right (through the excuses that he made) when he is wrong, because no one taught him nor corrected him before, when he is young.

[Autumnleaf]

Phttph, actually we thought maybe just attention issues, but late last year we did have an Aunty that works at a nearby Fishball noodle stall who asked my Hb if my son is autistic coz she has a nephew who is. But seeing we are not the ones who have the expertise to diagnose and after waiting for so long I think it’s time to seek physcoligist help.

I had been reading extensively on many learning disorders and true enough there are many over lapping symptoms, hence from adhd, aspergers and even executive function disorder all describe him.

He has been doing well in maths and science, for p3 that is. I believe if he didn’t have his focusing problems, he would be even better though. He is still in band 1 (low 90’s) for 3 subjects except MT but I notice his strength is more on mAths n science rather then english for the last consecutive 3 years. May just be a boys thing though.

I did not think dyslexia As he was an early reader and hasn’t had problems with spelling. Though his handwriting is atrocious.

He has spacing, sizing and pressure problems… ie too light. Generally his motor skills are very weak… Maybe due to sensory issues.

We actually went straight to NUH child guidance on level 4 in December as private patient coz I thought it possible may speed things up but till now, after our first consultation with the dr (not physcolpgist), we have not even gotten a date or an indication of when. She referred us to see the physcoligist and told us that get will call once there’s an appointment date. So tried calling twice to check with them, and they keep telling me they can’t tell me when as many people are waiting.

Actually I wished I had of gone ahead with an assessment when he just started p1 coz when I brought him to the first consultation my son asked me if we are at a place for mental problems. So it’s quite sensitive as he is young to fully understand but old enough to hear me talking to the dr abt him, and also reading all the signs and brochures in the room.

We do try talking to him to find out why he does things he knows will get in trouble for but he will just tense up (can see him struggle to swallow his own saliva) and be lost for words. Me and Hb are quite the old fashion kind of parents… Disobedient, will cane on backside. Usually will remind first And of course give chance to mistakes… So in our home, my daughter is able to understand the rules for things like asking permission to take snacks from kitchen etc) where as my DS1 will take without asking and then hide in bathroom to eat. All these silly things which we have reprimanded, talked to him about, but yet it happens again and again which has me thinking he is compulsive?

A lot of times I feel bad for him as he is the one who cops a lot of disciplining at home… Coz me and Hb are afraid if we dun correct him, who will?

He often makes me feel so unsure of my parenting … And also never fails to surprise us. Basically a very unpredictable kid when it comes to school performance too. He’s non competitive and has no instrinct motivation, though he did very well last year mostly from my efforts…
Another thing he seems to not keep track of date or time.
Again something which I didn’t spend much effort teachig my girl, I realised last year when she is in k1, during the June holidays, I was actually asking my DS1 what month it was, and he said "April" ( the month I delivered my 3rd baby) while my DD is able to tell me correctly that it’s June.

So because of his poor time and date awareness, every morning I have to keep reminding him to look at the clock, ask him what time it is and when he needs to push off. I tried leaving it to him at the start of this year, and at 7:15 (school starts at 7:20) he is still struggling to finish his bread unfazed.

I couldn’t help but realise when one by one my friends children who are 1 year younger then him are able to track time and even remind their parents to hurry along… Mine is like in his own world still…

[tyeogh]

Not watching! LoL