All About Autism
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tyeogh:
Got a question. Parents of ASD children should be more stressed than normal parents. Do you take time outs to go on a date with your spouse? How often and for how long? Can share?
I think parents with four kids are definitely more stressed...even without ASD kid!
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Gifts from Heaven:
Btw, if you have not read this, maybe you want to read up on TOM (theory of mind). Sometimes, our 'special' kids get into trouble cos of their perspective of things happening around them. Cos their minds are wired differently, they don't see the happenings the same way we see them and do the unexpected (from our perspective).
This is very true. Over the years, I've observed my daughter and can see how differently she understands (or doesn't) the world. I see a lot of my role as being an interpreter of the world for her, and helping her understand other people. In \"The Imitation Game\", Turing said at one point that society is speaking in \"code\" which has to be \"deciphered\". Whether he actually ever said that, I don't know, but that is pretty much what I have had to help my ASD daughter do over the years. The good thing is that after several experiences, it goes into her memory bank for future reference. Reading also helps - I try to get her to read fiction that describes more \"real life\" situations (her preference is fantasy, which doesn't always reflect real life too well), and that also helps. -
Hi Autumnleaf,
Actually i am going to bring my dd2 to Thomson Paediatric Centre - Child Development Centre later this afternoon for an ADD assessment (no queue). The rest of the private centers i called are only available after CNY. The 1st visits costs $160-$180, the psychologist will assess the child for 1hr+, either discharge on the spot or come back for further assessments (package $1500-$1800, incl 3X2hrs of assessments and incl of today’s 1st visit). You may want to check with Ovspring, this center is quite popular too but expected to queue.
Alternatively,
You can try Health Promotion Board- Child Guidance Clinic, beside SGH but you have to go through Polyclinic to get a referral letter to enjoy subsidies. (1st appt with GP $35, $300+ for every assessment) but 1st appt with a Psychologist expected to queue at least 2 months, follow by assessment test another 3-4mths wait. Depends how many assessments needed, by the time you receive your report, results will be known at least half a year later from now. -
tyeogh:
Got a question. Parents of ASD children should be more stressed than normal parents. Do you take time outs to go on a date with your spouse? How often and for how long? Can share?
While we were overseas, my husband often worked from home, so we had time to spend together during the day, during breaks, over lunch etc. when the kids were napping or at school. I am a SAHM. Being away from home and without home help or family support, we hardly ever had time away from the kids when they were young, but we put them to bed early and had some time in the evenings too. We just got used to \"dating\" at home. The main thing about dating at home is that both must make a point not to be distracted by work, housework, gadgets, TV etc and actually do something together and communicate. Even when we watch TV or DVDs, we will discuss what we see. Very occasionally, like once or twice a year, we would make the effort to have someone watch the kids for us so we could go out together without them. We started leaving them alone at home when my younger girl was about 11yo.
Since you have older NT kids, you can start leaving them at home once the oldest one is responsible enough to keep an eye on the youngest. In many western countries, kids can be left at home alone around 12yo, and can watch younger kids when they are about 14yo. For me, my older one is Asperger's, so we felt that although she was OK to be left alone at home at 12yo, we couldn't ask her to watch the younger one. My younger one, on the other hand, has always quite advanced and responsible for her age. I rely on her common sense more than on her older sister's! -
Nebbermind:
True. LoL. This is why I make it a point to date my wife every Friday night. We go out to paint the town red! No lah. Movies, drinks, that sort of thing.
I think parents with four kids are definitely more stressed...even without ASD kid!
I came from a broken family. So I thought the best gift to my children will be an un-divorced set of parents. The rest are ancillaries. Just checking market situation. -
slmkhoo:
Oracle,tyeogh:
Got a question. Parents of ASD children should be more stressed than normal parents. Do you take time outs to go on a date with your spouse? How often and for how long? Can share?
While we were overseas, my husband often worked from home, so we had time to spend together during the day, during breaks, over lunch etc. when the kids were napping or at school. I am a SAHM. Being away from home and without home help or family support, we hardly ever had time away from the kids when they were young, but we put them to bed early and had some time in the evenings too. We just got used to \"dating\" at home. The main thing about dating at home is that both must make a point not to be distracted by work, housework, gadgets, TV etc and actually do something together and communicate. Even when we watch TV or DVDs, we will discuss what we see. Very occasionally, like once or twice a year, we would make the effort to have someone watch the kids for us so we could go out together without them. We started leaving them alone at home when my younger girl was about 11yo.
Since you have older NT kids, you can start leaving them at home once the oldest one is responsible enough to keep an eye on the youngest. In many western countries, kids can be left at home alone around 12yo, and can watch younger kids when they are about 14yo. For me, my older one is Asperger's, so we felt that although she was OK to be left alone at home at 12yo, we couldn't ask her to watch the younger one. My younger one, on the other hand, has always quite advanced and responsible for her age. I rely on her common sense more than on her older sister's!
Thanks for sharing! Guess its harder to date when one is a SAHM. Good to know it doesn't stop you from dating at home minus housework and gadgets. My SIL has 4 kids too and is a SAHM. When they were posted overseas, she hardly left home. When my family visited and I offered to nanny her brood so that she could go out with her hubby on his birthday, the date didn't materialize. Its so sad that couples lose themselves when the kids come along. Its become more like a partnership than a romance.
Neo -
tyeogh:
Oracle,slmkhoo:
[quote=\"tyeogh\"]Got a question. Parents of ASD children should be more stressed than normal parents. Do you take time outs to go on a date with your spouse? How often and for how long? Can share?
While we were overseas, my husband often worked from home, so we had time to spend together during the day, during breaks, over lunch etc. when the kids were napping or at school. I am a SAHM. Being away from home and without home help or family support, we hardly ever had time away from the kids when they were young, but we put them to bed early and had some time in the evenings too. We just got used to \"dating\" at home. The main thing about dating at home is that both must make a point not to be distracted by work, housework, gadgets, TV etc and actually do something together and communicate. Even when we watch TV or DVDs, we will discuss what we see. Very occasionally, like once or twice a year, we would make the effort to have someone watch the kids for us so we could go out together without them. We started leaving them alone at home when my younger girl was about 11yo.
Since you have older NT kids, you can start leaving them at home once the oldest one is responsible enough to keep an eye on the youngest. In many western countries, kids can be left at home alone around 12yo, and can watch younger kids when they are about 14yo. For me, my older one is Asperger's, so we felt that although she was OK to be left alone at home at 12yo, we couldn't ask her to watch the younger one. My younger one, on the other hand, has always quite advanced and responsible for her age. I rely on her common sense more than on her older sister's!
Thanks for sharing! Guess its harder to date when one is a SAHM. Good to know it doesn't stop you from dating at home minus housework and gadgets. My SIL has 4 kids too and is a SAHM. When they were posted overseas, she hardly left home. When my family visited and I offered to nanny her brood so that she could go out with her hubby on his birthday, the date didn't materialize. Its so sad that couples lose themselves when the kids come along. Its become more like a partnership than a romance.
Neo[/quote]Agree with that. But dating at home isn't really that grim! Just putting the kids to bed early helps a lot. It depends on what you are used to, I suppose. I'm pretty much a home-body and didn't \"paint the town red\" very much even in my single and pre-kids days. I don't think we've lost ourselves in our kids, and we intentionally left the kids to their own devices quite a lot even when they were young and we were at home. They are quite accustomed to us talking to each other over their heads! -
slmkhoo:
I wish I could! Talk over their heads and still date at home. Its more like shouting over their heads every night! LoL. Someone is either killing someone or plotting to kill someone. Its a war zone here. Maybe I am not normal....
Agree with that. But dating at home isn't really that grim! Just putting the kids to bed early helps a lot. It depends on what you are used to, I suppose. I'm pretty much a home-body and didn't \"paint the town red\" very much even in my single and pre-kids days. I don't think we've lost ourselves in our kids, and we intentionally left the kids to their own devices quite a lot even when they were young and we were at home. They are quite accustomed to us talking to each other over their heads! -
tyeogh:
No, I think it's because you have boys! I only have 2 girls, and quite tame ones!
I wish I could! Talk over their heads and still date at home. Its more like shouting over their heads every night! LoL. Someone is either killing someone or plotting to kill someone. Its a war zone here. Maybe I am not normal....slmkhoo:
Agree with that. But dating at home isn't really that grim! Just putting the kids to bed early helps a lot. It depends on what you are used to, I suppose. I'm pretty much a home-body and didn't \"paint the town red\" very much even in my single and pre-kids days. I don't think we've lost ourselves in our kids, and we intentionally left the kids to their own devices quite a lot even when they were young and we were at home. They are quite accustomed to us talking to each other over their heads! -
slmkhoo:
The girls are the ones plotting. The boys just kill. Arrrgh! :gloomy:
No, I think it's because you have boys! I only have 2 girls, and quite tame ones!
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