All About Bullying

[12mum]

Each time such bullying act happens, just email the teacher. Verbal is not good enough. The email can be just to let the teacher know and not about asking for punishment.


I know after the third or fourth email, the teacher will probably treat it as just another complaint by an overly kiasuparent parent. but still have to send cos if don’t send, anything serious happens, teacher will say why never tell us?

This "why never tell us" is such a good excuse to throw the ball back to the parents when accidents happen.

[ammonite]

snowbell:

Ammonite, Thank you for your advice. I have told my girl that real friends doesn't treat her like dirt and will not hurt her. I have asked her to play with other friends. But she told me this girl has set a friend's rule. Whoever wants to play with my girl has to seek her permission. Only if she agrees, then they can play together. I'm getting my girl to ignore this friend's rule and go ahead to make friends. She doesn't need permission from anyone to be friends with others. I told her if this girl turns violence again, to report to us or teachers immediately.


I am also starting to track all the complaints my girl feedback on this girl. Hopfully with teacher's involvement, the bullying act can stop soon.

snowbell,
you are right. This is a very unhealthy relationship. School is one factor, shaping your daughter's standard is another.

I do suggest requesting the teacher to seat them separately so that the girl has less control over your dd. You can also talk to her about friendship. You can use the analogy of two plants, one blocking out the sunlight of another, and explain that friends allow each other to grow. There are also books in the children section of the library that talks about various issues, including friendship and bullying.

Your daughter is likely not confrontational, so it may be helpful to brainstorm with her on how to move away diplomatically. You can also name specific children who you think will make better friends and encourage her to spend more time with them. As other kids get to know your daughter, some will also call out on bullying behaviour and help curtail the influence.

good luck!

[zbear]

snowbell, I read abt what your girl is going through n I feel that you shld take action now n not wait anymore. The bully is getting out of control.


Go n see FT n put the message across that you are taking this very seriously n bullying has to stop. If you delay further, it will cause yr dd to be more traumised n the long term effects are very adverse towards your dd.

[snowbell]

Thank you for all your advices. I have feedback to the form teacher. Form teacher said she will get back to me on this.


The girl’s mother replied me claiming that her daughter accidentally kicked my girl.

I am leaving to the form teacher to investigate since this is not the first incident. In the meantime, I have requested the form teacher to monitor them.

[sembgal]

snowbell:

Thank you for all your advices. I have feedback to the form teacher. Form teacher said she will get back to me on this.


The girl's mother replied me claiming that her daughter accidentally kicked my girl.

I am leaving to the form teacher to investigate since this is not the first incident. In the meantime, I have requested the form teacher to monitor them.

All mothers will protect their own children. By highlighting the issue to the form teacher will alert her and let the bully knows that the teacher is watching over her actions now. Usually children who go to school and be bullies are lacking of parental attention and they need to seek attention from other sources. Parents are spending time ferrying their children to enrichment and not using time to have quality heart to heart talk with children. Mature thoughts and behaviour come from attention spent on children by parents.

[custard8010]

Hmm sometimes bullying can even start young from preschoolers… and at that impressionable age its quite worrying… especially if its in school and parents cant be there to supervise

[sembgal]

http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum ... =1&t=82344

[XperiaAngie]

bully may not just be physical


do take note of verbal abuse, particularly in group chats via whatsapp etc social media

verbal abuse is equally detrimental to the victim

[chl72]

XperiaAngie:

bully may not just be physical


do take note of verbal abuse, particularly in group chats via whatsapp etc social media

verbal abuse is equally detrimental to the victim

Sad to say, my DD has been a target to bullying in school for almost 2yrs. :sad:
For example, they would ganged up n not pass the ball to her during PE, ostracise her by naming everyone in the project watsapp grp admin except her. Dun accept any of her ideas in a project discussions treating her like invincible ... etc etc...
Brought it up to the form tchr n she feedbacked that she did see once how the classmates treated her not very 'nicely' but she did not intervene because she saw how my DD handled it and felt tat she handled it quite well. :mad: You mean if my DD can handle those nonsense means she have to tolerate the bullying?

Recently, they ganged up against her again, she got so frustrated n scolded a bad word, not directing to anyone but just venting her frustration. She was immediately complained by that classmate that she used bad word on her. FT immediately scold her without even finding out why she use the word. Not that I side with my child, but try being bullied yourself everyday, 佛都有火咯 (Buddha also will get angry) nevertheless, I still punished her for that. But it seems to me that the form tchr quite bias, cos I raised my DD's issues months ago, but she did not seem to be helping her resolve her problems, instead she choose to believe another kid's one sided story and punish her immediately without investigation. Then again, not that I feel that my DD is faultless. She is at fault, but has her reasons. My point is, If the FT had intervened and put a stop to the bullying, this would not have happened.
Sorry, just ranting.... :stompfeet:

I would appreciate it if there are any kind souls who can give me some advice. Thank you!

[zbear]

It looks like the FT is not helping at all. Can you escalate this to Level Head?


Its mentally not healthy for your dd to continue receiving such treatment from her classmates for a prolonged period of time. Pls do something abt it ASAP.