Angry with son's form teacher

[autumnbronze]

KoalaMummy:

i know, definitely that my son needs to improve and \"buck up\", we've been tellin' him that.. but i just feel it takes time.. My son is a 'smart-alex\". i think, could be, he feels 'pressured' by the teacher and hence 'decides' to 'retaliate' by being 'rebellious\".. i really don't know.

But my ds is a very strong-will boy. he can jus totally 'ignore' you if he feels like it. So it's really difficult to 'handle' him, i feel. He's so totally different from my other 2 child. i always say he has his dad's genes... :frustrated:

Hi koalamummy,

I just realized that exams will be in late April/early May, hence the added pressure??

Yes, you are most probably right abt your DS's assessment (you'er his mom :D). If thats the case, then you may need to work together with the teacher and discuss/come up with some solutions as to how to maximize your DS's potential (after you have cool down lah, okie :D)

All the best :celebrate:

[hquek]

hi koalamummy,


Just to share my experience with my car insurance advisor. First time I dealt with her (recommend by my life ins person), she was very curt and to the point. When I call her/talk to her, I feel I owe her money - big time. Was super pissed off. I can’t remember if it was me, or my life ins agent who told her; suddenly the next year, she was friendly and very nice on the phone.

It could just be the way she had been doing all this time and wasn’t aware. I think going to meet her (yes, again) and reflecting that her approach not very right (I’m sure you’re equally concerned about your son, if not more) may be of help?

Just wondering if she thinks that your son’s attitude is reflective of YOUR attitude and so she goes on the threatening path. Dun think that’s right.

My opinion only, hope you dun mind. I know there’s a lot that transpired which could totally change my opinion.

Keep well, and keep cool first lah.

[KoalaMummy]

mmm… after one night of cooling down…i was just thinking if i should write an email to the teacher and tell her how i felt, and arrange to meet her and the P (before she arrange, i initiate first). what do you all think?

[autumnbronze]

KoalaMummy:

mmm... after one night of cooling down...i was just thinking if i should write an email to the teacher and tell her how i felt, and arrange to meet her and the P (before she arrange, i initiate first). what do you all think?

I feel that you could just write a simple email to arrange for a meeting and then when you see her, just discuss abt your DS's issue first and when that is sorted out with, then you can talk abt her attitude towards you over the phone, as well as the fact that you too have to deal with a child who is a smart aleck, which can be challenging. This will achieve 4 things:

1. You would both be working together to sort DS's issue which is the first priority.

2. There won't be any awkwardness bet you and the teacher during the discussion and also you can better assess her character during the conversation. For all you know, she might even acknowledege her tone towards you and apologise.

3. The teacher would be able to have a further insight abt your DS's personality, unless she already has.

4. It would be a win win situation cuz the teacher would have achieved her objective and so would you. In fact, yours is a double win cuz hopefully you would have come up with some solutions with regards to your DS's work and tell her how you feel amicably.

Again, just my 2 cents

[KoalaMummy]

Point noted, Autumnbronze. will think about it and see what to do next.

[autumnbronze]

KoalaMummy:

Point noted, Autumnbronze. will think about it and see what to do next.

No worries

As I have mentioned before, you will be the best person ultimately, to decide how to resolve this situation.

BTW, nice avatar

[Blobbi]

autumnbronze:

I feel that you could just write a simple email to arrange for a meeting and then when you see her, just discuss abt your DS's issue first and when that is sorted out with, then you can talk abt her attitude towards you over the phone, as well as the fact that you too have to deal with a child who is a smart aleck, which can be challenging. This will achieve 4 things:

1. You would both be working together to sort DS's issue which is the first priority.

2. There won't be any awkwardness bet you and the teacher during the discussion and also you can better assess her character during the conversation. For all you know, she might even acknowledege her tone towards you and apologise.

3. The teacher would be able to have a further insight abt your DS's personality, unless she already has.

4. It would be a win win situation cuz the teacher would have achieved her objective and so would you. In fact, yours is a double win cuz hopefully you would have come up with some solutions with regards to your DS's work and tell her how you feel amicably.

Again, just my 2 cents

Tks for this, Autumnbronze. I just had a recent experience and I think that I was justified in being angry, like Koalamummy. But I jumped the gun and cc'd the principal.

In short, the teacher responded in a very positive manner, changed her behaviour (it was undeniable - she was in the wrong), and I wrote her a thank you note. But it just didn't feel right to cc the principal on the improvement, which is why this sort of communication cannot be symmetrical. Looking back, perhaps I should have spoken to her first rather than (in our case) do nothing for 2 mths until I burst. Everything would have been resolved in a more even manner.

I learn everyday. :oops:

[vlim]

lately I am also very unhappy about one of my ds teacher accusation of my son .... now I xin li bu pin heng..... yu ku nan yen...

[KoalaMummy]

Hi Blobbi & autumnbronze,


i was thinking of cc’d the principal with the email too.

Blobbi, u mentioned :…which is why this sort of communication cannot be symmetrical. Looking back, perhaps I should have spoken to her first rather than (in our case) do nothing for 2 mths until I burst. Everything would have been resolved in a more even manner.

What do you mean by this?? can share your experience so that we also can learn from you??

[KoalaMummy]

actually, now to think about it, this is the 2nd time the teacher called me. and both times, her attitude was very bad. i think i ever post that first time she called me when she mentioned that my son is "not ready for primary school" and i was also very mad at her. so we met up, but blur me, didn’t confront her that time. so i thought this time i would email her so that at least my thoughts are in ‘the proper order’ cos, sometime i panicked or forgot what i want to see when it’s face to face.