All About Full-Time Maids

[hquek]

hi admummy,


I think your maid is very familiar to your ways, and therefore exhibit those symptoms. When we have conversation, I expect that at least she face me, and definitely not see her back/bum. I would have counselled her and told her like this I cannot accept cos she is not showing me face. If she persist, i know that she’s not keen to continue with me.

For tv set, if it doesn’t affect her work, I would suggest you to leave it. To take lesson from some parenting gurus, ‘pick your battles’. Some of the things my current maid does, I don’t agree; but I choose to tiam tiam cos it doesn’t hurt me (just irritate only).

As for relative visit, honestly I would be wary…her relative is maid - dunnid to work meh? Her employer so good to let her out? It is ok to meet outside (eg on offdays) but to visit at home?? I think better not. Scarly she take your drinks, sit on sofa like queen like that, can you take it?

You have to think what is important to you and if she fulfils those criteria, if yes, you can think to continue…but must draw line - employer and employee relationship…she is not your daughter and therefore cannot expect some privileges.

[Admummy]

hquek:

hi admummy,


As for relative visit, honestly I would be wary....her relative is maid - dunnid to work meh? Her employer so good to let her out? It is ok to meet outside (eg on offdays) but to visit at home?? I think better not. Scarly she take your drinks, sit on sofa like queen like that, can you take it?

her relative is off on sunday...that time when my maid asked me for permission, i told her ok but only if one time and with us around....coz my maid dun have off day...i also warned her that that relative cannot pass anything to her vice versa....then she called the relative abt the good news but on the actual day, her relative called to say she's sick so the appointment was cancelled...

[hquek]

Admummy:

her relative is off on sunday...that time when my maid asked me for permission, i told her ok but only if one time and with us around....coz my maid dun have off day...i also warned her that that relative cannot pass anything to her vice versa....then she called the relative abt the good news but on the actual day, her relative called to say she's sick so the appointment was cancelled...

me thinks if you set the rules already and she agree, then it's ok.

[Admummy]

hquek:

hi admummy,


I think your maid is very familiar to your ways, and therefore exhibit those symptoms. When we have conversation, I expect that at least she face me, and definitely not see her back/bum. I would have counselled her and told her like this I cannot accept cos she is not showing me face. If she persist, i know that she's not keen to continue with me.

.

ya i think she think she expert leow so very ya ya papaya...i hate confrontation and negative feeling that is why i never confront her by telling her to face me...u got any tips how to counsel her nicely whenever she is \"off track\"?

[hquek]

Admummy:

ya i think she think she expert leow so very ya ya papaya...i hate confrontation and negative feeling that is why i never confront her by telling her to face me...u got any tips how to counsel her nicely whenever she is \"off track\"?

if your DH can be the black face, by all means ask him to display.

When I fierce I look damn scary....so it works to my advantage. I'll just tell her in a very even manner what she is doing that I do not like (eg that she is showing that she is better than me, and that she is looking down on me). And remind her that I am the employer, and would appreciate if she can show me more respect next time. Shout no point - I do that only if emergency. And don't bottle up everything, makes your life very difficult.

But honestly, I also hate confrontations.

[hquek]

Regarding the medicine, sometimes we’ll make a joke out of it. Eg my ex-maid hide in toilet to pull out her tooth (we had no clue she was having toothache). Told her jokingly that if she had fainted, we would not know until all her blood drained out. and then seriously tell her she has to inform us.


But the part where she turn her back on you…that one my face will become black immediately. it may be cultural thing, but certainly my culture is different and I will let her know.

[peapot]

Admummy, hmm...actually I think maids who had worked for you over 2 years will become more complacent and also not as \"on\" as before? Guess its human tendency. If you do not like her facing the wall while talking then you can tell her immediately in a nice way. I am sure she also do not like it if she talks to you and you look elsewhere. I will usually correct my maid immediately when I see something I don't quite agree. If you let it happen a few times, she may think you don't mind and worst she may think that particular day you are trying to pick on her because in the past you never make any noise. There was once my current maid was feeding my child and she blow on the food to cool it. I told her straight away \"please don't do that, I don't think its hygenic. Just scoop smaller portion instead.\"


But all these events could also boil down to the fact that she's unhappy working in your house. You may wish to have a heart to heart talk with her. I think sometimes maids do not dare to raise their concerns with their employer. Why? I m clueless. Its not as if we will eat them up. So they put their unhappiness in their working attitude hoping that you will notice. When you do notice and ask them what's the problem, they will reply \"nothing\". :?

[hquek]

peapot:

But all these events could also boil down to the fact that she's unhappy working in your house. You may wish to have a heart to heart talk with her. I think sometimes maids do not dare to raise their concerns with their employer. Why? I m clueless. Its not as if we will eat them up. So they put their unhappiness in their working attitude hoping that you will notice. When you do notice and ask them what's the problem, they will reply \"nothing\". :?

Agree. All this time I have to do mind reading....everytime I ask, it's sure to be 'no problems', 'nothing'.

[carebear]

Hi Admummy, I would be very upset if my maid were to leave medicine lying around when my kids were younger. What happens if your toddler eats it by mistake.

My first maid was with me for 8 years. Finally i asked her to leave as she was getting too bold and complacent. She did not understand the fact that the children have grown up and things have changed, so her responsibilties and chores should also change with time. Eg when the kids were toddlers her first priority was to them. Later when they grew up and were in school, she would have to pay more attention to the household chores and cooking, which she did not, so i decided to move on!
Like yours, she did not look at me when i gave her instructions, except to cast a disapproving black face at me. She also did not want to cook lunch and suggested that my kids eat left over food after they came back from school!

[hquek]

carebear:

She also did not want to cook lunch and suggested that my kids eat left over food after they came back from school!

Really! My maids do NOT eat leftovers....my family seldom have leftovers, but there are days when too much food was cooked. My maids have never ever ever partaken of those dishes, only my family would eat it. They will eat the food on the day it's cooked, but you will see that they avoid once it's leftover.

I assume that this was either a cultural practice (ie they dun eat leftovers), or they are a upper breed of beings.

For someone to tell my kids to eat leftovers, they better to practise that first.