Help! my boy hates going to school

[smurf]

dunno whether he enjoy or not leh. I ask him but he just nod. never answer also. sometimes he anyhow talk also.

[smurf]

lovekidsverymuch:

smurf:

wow, just read your profile...hee... your DS1 birthday very close to my DS birthday by 2 days only. yours younger. :celebrate:

I cannot see ur profile

oh, I didn't update mah.hee.

[cnimed]

tankee:

deminc:

[quote=\"tankee\"]I would say majority of children, if given a choice, would not want to go to school. Likewise for majority of adults with regards to work.

I disagree with that. I remember I used to love going to school. It's only much later when burn-out set in that I started resenting it. Likewise with work. I never start a job resenting it. I usually can't stop thinking about the things I can do!
....

you belonging to the minority then. [/quote]Perhaps, and it's a pity. Life really shouldn't be like that. I don't believe in the whole idea of going through the motion, needing to condition children for working life through school. I think that's all BS. Childhood should be about learning - not just learning academic and life skills, but also about oneself. If the child has a good understanding of his own strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes, he will be able to find a fulfilling role for himself in future.

[Blobbi]

Smurf,


I re-read your original post. Same same. The teachers used to tell me he's ok in school, he's got friends etc. I did spot checks too - seemed alright and even can laugh along with the class, but sometimes look a bit bored and distant. The teachers will always be fooled! But he comes home and says he has no connection with his class friends. Now in P school, it's the exact same thing! He doesn't even agree with what the teachers say :roll:. I sent my son to playgroups from 12mths, btw, so it's not when you start.

I actually homeschooled my son for 1.5yrs because I thot I could help him out socially. Academics was great, and I thot he improved socially too. But I was always puzzled about why he didn't want more than 1 playdate a week even though he made some good friends. He said he needed his own time to do his own stuff, which I respected.

It's not a disaster. Just make sure he knows he has to go to school. I tell my son he has to make the best of it. But after school, he can do what he likes. I've instituted a habit of no TV (ok, v minimal!) during the weekday and no computer games (lately, a bit), so he actually reads and looks up things he wants to learn about. Lately, he's actually quite keen to go to a class in his interest area, so I've started to scout for one.

My advice is to find your son's own balance. It may not be everybody else' balance. As long as he's learning well, just keep going steadily. And things keep changing for young kids (like in my son's case, couldn't shake him off my leg to go to school when youngerl!! Now, no such drama). I'm sure things will change again.

Good luck. Can one lah.

[tamarind]

Kindergarten is not compulsory. If the mommy have time to teach at home, kids can actually learn so much more at home. What they learn in kindergarten may be very simple for them, and they may find it very boring. Personally I find that it is sad to make a child so young trying to cope with boredom for half a day, or even a full day, 5 days a week. Compulsory education starts at P1, and after that there are about 16 years of serious studying. Kids before the age of 7 should have the freedom to do whatever they please, so long as they have already acquired the necessary skills of reading and writing and are well prepared for P1.


The other factor is the teacher. Not all pre-school teachers are loving and kind. I have encountered one who seems to hate her job. I pity the kids taught by her.

As for social interaction, it all depends on whether the kids in the kindergarten are nice. Some kids can really be bad influence to others. My brother’s daughter got a bruised eye from her K1 class. My brother stopped sending her to kindergarten. At P1, they moved to UK. I heard that the girl is now doing extremely well in school.

[smurf]

Thanks Bobbi for your encouragement. :celebrate:


Hi Tamarind,

I dunno how to homeschool child. Most of the time, I'm so held up by chores, chores and more chores, that I hardly have time to teach him. and what to teach? read book, I can only read few pages to him, after that, he stop wanting me to read. do maths, after 15 mins, he wants to stop and take a break. sometimes, I add in fun play, such as ask him to help me to cook, etc. so in 1 day, the 'quality' time spend with him (although we are together) is less than 1-2 hours maybe?

yes, I think he is bored, with routine, but what else can I let him do? sometimes, he would ask me, ''what can I do now, mama''? :oops:


and he can be very lazy. I'm so lost nowadays that I dunno why I choose to be a SAHM in the first place.

[corneyAmber]

Actually kids are no different from us. They need to have something to look forward to like us. Perhaps the school is not offering that?


When my child was in K2, she stopped liking school too...nothing interesting and challenging to look forward to. Towards the last 6 months, she was dragging her feet to school, could not wait to go P1.
I was not too concerned and due to lack of motivation, the body also weakened and ended per her desire, absent for medical reason. However she was happy staying at home running her own life.

Then in P1, suddenly chirpy as a bird again because so many things to look forward to....school was like the most happening thing for her.
Now there are certain mini competitions to read x number of books to chase medals and being the first to arrive in school for her class(but no prize :roll: ) that keeps her on her toes in wanting to go to school. They just need something to look forward to....so I hope the school continues to have something in store for her to look forward to because I dread the day she comes home like in K2.

[smurf]

Hi Ks2me,


really ah? I do hope that (ie, bored and looking forward to something to do) is the case lor, otherwise I dunno what to do.

[corneyAmber]

smurf:

Hi Ks2me,


really ah? I do hope that (ie, bored and looking forward to something to do) is the case lor, otherwise I dunno what to do.

Yes it was true for my child. You need to figure out if it is the same for yours.

[tamarind]

smurf:

Thanks Bobbi for your encouragement. :celebrate:


Hi Tamarind,

I dunno how to homeschool child. Most of the time, I'm so held up by chores, chores and more chores, that I hardly have time to teach him. and what to teach? read book, I can only read few pages to him, after that, he stop wanting me to read. do maths, after 15 mins, he wants to stop and take a break. sometimes, I add in fun play, such as ask him to help me to cook, etc. so in 1 day, the 'quality' time spend with him (although we are together) is less than 1-2 hours maybe?

yes, I think he is bored, with routine, but what else can I let him do? sometimes, he would ask me, ''what can I do now, mama''? :oops:


and he can be very lazy. I'm so lost nowadays that I dunno why I choose to be a SAHM in the first place.

smurf,
It is not necessary to teach a child for a few hours a day at home.

When my boy was ill due to HFMD, I kept him at home for a few months. I only taught him for less than a hour everyday. I have a \"reading scheme\" which is very easy to follow, as described in my http://tamarindphonics.blogspot.com/. I don't read to my boy, he reads out loud to me. I also taught him how to do addition and subtraction by counting his toys. The rest of the time, he plays with his toys and create his own crafts using paper, pencils, scissors and glue.

Many parents are buying lots of P1 assessment books for their kindergarten kids to prepare them for P1. Just do a few pages a day at K2, and kids will know the entire P1 syllabus by the end of the year.

It is perfectly OK to let a child play or daydream on his own for most of the day. Playing and daydreaming are essential for a happy childhood. I daydreamed a lot when I was young. The child still has to suffer for a long time from 7 to 23 years old.