All About Autism

[scang]

alhana14:

Hi fellow parents. Has anyone had a change in their household income situation (much lower income due to a change in job) while your child was in EIPIC and was able to qualify for higher subsidies? Even though my husband has changed jobs and is now only drawing a fraction of his former pay, we still have to pay full fees due to the 12-month means testing calculation. As the full fees are really quite high given our current income situation, I'm wondering if we can expect any revision in the immediate future. Hope to hear from those who have experienced this.

You need to be thick skin and contact and show SGEnable and the EIPIC centre of the change in your financial situation.
Then it will take some time (1-2months?) for them to investigate and process it before seeing the revision in fees taking place.

[alhana14]

Thanks for your reply. Yes, we have submitted the necessary documents as proof of the change in income status. It seems it might take at least 3 months to take effect. Sigh.

[sleepyhuey]

Hi fellow parents!


My son is 5.5 suspected of aspergers. No formal diagnosis yet.
So far attended some OT and school holiday class to improve social skills.
Just wondering if anyone has tried social skills group at Dynamics ? Keen to try but not much review on their social skills class.

Thanks !

[Couragemom]

Hi parents,


Haven’t dropped in for quite a while. Hope everything is alright for all your darlings? My little one turns 4 this month and he has made great strides in his speech and motor skill development. Social skill is still emerging but his school teacher told me he is able to answer his friend or ‘talk’ to his classmate in 1-2 sentences but not always… Eye contact is inconsistent with strangers but much better than last time though. Oh well, such is life and my battle continues!

Here’s wishing all the special kiddos in this thread who is taking primary school exams in 2-3 weeks time best of luck!!!

[fyp.0241372015]

Dear Parents,


We are a group of final year Occupational Therapy students from Nanyang Polytechnic.
We are currently embarking on the research study of \" Parental Perceptions of Raising a Child with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)\".
If you are a parent or main caregiver of a child with autism, we would like to invite you to participate in our survey.
Please click on the following link to find out more: http://parentalperceptionsofchildrenwithasd.blogspot.sg/

[KiasuPG]

Hi Parents,

i believe my child is hyperactive, and many a times disturbs the class. The teacher is not happy too. she likes to control by shouting, which i explained to her that it will not help for more than few minutes.
I would like to change the school and try with some other teachers which are patient and innovative and new environment.
Do any of you have good experience in any kindergarten at West Coast or Jurong East with Hyperactive kids?
please help?
thanks.

[So50]

Dear parents,

Hope that i can join this forum to gather more info. I have been reading up all the information posted on previous pages.
Thank god for this forum.

My boy 2yrs 10mths is suspectd of ASD. He is having speech delay and brought him to kkh to the pd for assessment 2 months back. It turns out that the pd say he is showing signs of ASD. My heart just sink after i heard the news. Did not expect to hear something like this… Anyway, i have already come to aceept it and has Started him on OT and ST.

I am having some disciplinary issues now. And hope that someone can help me…
Whenever something is not going his way, he will start to hit people around him or throwing tantrums/ severe meltdown. It could be me or our helper. Some examples, whenever we go noisy eating places, he can suddenly become very emotional/temperamental. If we force to sit down, he will resist strongly. I will usually be firm, and tell him no. And when i give him that "ultimate" fierce stare, he become so agitated that he start hitting my helper and crying…
I do know he has sensory issues and dislike noisy places, will this behavior normalise ? Does that mean we should try to avoid noisy places? How should i discipline him ? Should i cane him ?

yesterday, we were having lunch at a foodcourt. Bought his food quickly for him and let my helper feed him first. Afterwhich, i went on to get my food And my helper food. Guess what??? When i came back, i do not know what trigger him hitting my helper. Haizzz. When i sit down to stop him, i realise something… This irritating auntie ihas beenstaring at him with a disapproving look. I guess the auntie must be thinking "how come this boy is so naughty"… And this starring probably makes the whole situation worse and my boy keep looking at her again. Think he knows the auntie 杀气眼神。For half of the time while i am sitting there, i realise the auntie has been staring at him. I also try to distract him with youtube and get my helper to sit at an angle to block off the auntie.
This incident makes me feel lousy for the last 2days… My SO ask me why i never tell auntie off when i see that…am i supposed to tell the auntie off and then start a quarrel ? And then let someone film down the scene and post it up on stomp? At that moment, i do feel like gg up and telling the auntie off… "Stop staring at my son!!!" But no guts…I also feel lousy that it seems i cannot protect my son properly or at least defend him in a way…

Can someone help or advise me how i shd deal with the tantrums issues ? Will it get better as he grows older…

[scang]

Just some humble opinion.


As you understand ASD children may have sensory issues and dislike noisy places, so
1) try to avoid noisy place as a start,
2) the level of noise for them to adjust to takes time, like low noise, medium noise, very noisy etc.
Of course, it is very subjective, but it really takes time for them to adjust to a comfort level like a normal person, so the introduction of noisy places needs gradual adjustment.

force him to sit down may not be the best solution, but "training" him to adjust to the environment requires a step by step process.

Talking to him when he has calmed down, and finding out more from him regarding his reaction will help you along the journey if he is able to indicate or communicate in any form.

caning him or punishing him may be a little too harsh, as it is not entirely his fault for his sensory issues.

It is very much about understanding the triggers and working on how best to overcome or resolve them, rather than simply disciplining without a proper resolution or root cause to overcome the problem.

[sharonkhoo]

I agree with scang. Diciplining him will only work if he is intentionally misbehaving. If he is being affected by his sensitivities, you will need to deal with those first. For noisy areas, and my older girl was affected by them too, try to avoid those places when they are at their noisiest. Eat earlier or take away, or sit at the edges or corners. You could try ear plugs or ear phones, but that could be hard for such a young child. If you want to discipline him, it should be when he is not in a noisy place (preferably at home) and he has no excuse for bad behaviour. I also don’t advocate caning as it just instils fear in a young child and doesn’t really "teach" anything. The best form of discpline for my daughter at that age was time out, not as a "punishment" but as a time for regaining control. We would tell her to face a corner and stay there till she could stop screaming, crying etc. We just kept putting her back whenever she came away. For a 2yo, the recommended time is 2 mins, but you restart it every time he comes away, so the 2 mins can take a LONG time. Our record was a 3min time-out that took nearly 30 mins in total! But it pays off in the long run as we later could just tell her to take a time out to calm down, and she would know how to do it for herself.


My daughter did become less sensitive as she got older, so don’t lose hope. She is still more bothered by noise than most people, but she has learned to tolerate it for reasonable periods or use ear plugs. She has been in mainstream school all her life, which can be very noisy! There is no need to avoid all noisy places just because your son is sensitive, but limit the exposure when he shows signs of stress.

For staring aunties, I would not scold her and start a quarrel, but if moving away is not feasible, a little word with her to say that your son is bothered by noise, not feeling good etc will probably make her stop. Anyway, if you can remove your son before he starts throwing tantrums, the issue wouldn’t arise. Having a child with sensitivities does make it harder for families, but we just have to live with it.

[tyeogh]

Hi So50,

Welcome!

1. What you described is what most parents here have gone through when our special child was that age. You are in good company.

2. His tantrum is likely due to sensory issues and an inability to communicate. Imagine if you can't communicate your needs, you too will throw a fit to get what you want. Tantrums can be managed to a minimal or even zero-ed out but it takes time. It depends on his development progress eg if he can talk out his need, less tantrum frequency.

3. I avoided taking my child out initially for the same reason you described. Then gradually, when my son tantrum-ed less, we went out more often. You have to develop a thick skin and ignore the staring aunties. Most parents here have thick hides. If you want to be polite, just mutter the word \"Autism\" to the staring aunties. For me, I can't be bothered to explain.

4. Never never give him Youtube or any computer devices. This, I believe will worsen the ASD condition. The child goes into another world with the device. He interacts lesser and gets conditioned to think life is like a tv screen. Yes, you may get him to sit down quietly with it but it is a short term gain and a long term loss.

5. Caning. Ah...the question that separates me from the rest of this forum. I am a father, a christian and I believe in the cane so I will offer you a different perspective. My bible says He who spares the rod hates his son. So I cane. My bible does not make an exception for ASD kids, so I don't too. I believe God did not \"forget\" to exclude ASD children from caning so I won't exclude them from caning too.

I caned all my 3 elder NT kids. I am selective and very careful on how I cane my ASD child. Each time, i made sure I asked myself the following
A. Could he have avoided being caned. Was it a sensory issue. Or was he just being naughty.
B. Can the caning correct his behaviour. Can he can learn through pain.

If the caning can correct his behaviour, i will cane. I can't tell you how to judge each situation. It is something innate. You will know how as his parent. Just trust your feelings. I never cane because I am angry. It should be about correcting the child, not about buying me convenience.

I believe caning brought my son out of his behavioural issues faster than letting him outgrow it on his own. He learnt very quickly he cannot win me. When I say Stop (tantrum-ing), he stops. Then he sobs instead, resigned to the fact he has to comply or get caned.

My son has a eating problem. He will not try new food. It got so bad at one stage that he refused food and the doctors panicked. I corrected it with the cane. He is 6 now and occasionally i still need to correct his eating problem with the cane. Now I dare bring him out to eat. My current challenge is to get him to try noodles. He is a rice addict.

There are no right or wrong answers to handling your child. ASD is a spectrum. Each child on a different scale. There will be times where you walk paths no one has walked before. What works for me may not work for you. Examine each obstacle, study it, discuss with your spouse. As a bird is born to handle its young, you too will be gifted with the necessary to handle your special child. Go with your instincts. All the best