All About Autism
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My SO has been telling me, he is surviving now. So our child should be able to survive this better since there are now more help and knowledge sharing on this topic. I hope so and pray so…
I am probably quite new to all this at the moment. So i have been quite sensitive and easily upset when people pass comments just like that…thank you to all who had replied to my post and advise.
Jia you ! I will toughen myself up and thicken my skin up as well. -
Yes, do take heart from your husband’s experience. The modern age in Singapore is much more difficult in that people compare a lot, and there is less accommodation for those who are developing on a different timeline or in a different direction. If you think back to your schooldays, there is almost certainly someone (or several) you remember as a little "weird", but we generally accepted them as part of the variety of life. As parents, the best gift we can give to our ASD kids is to allow them the time and space to grow, and to absorb the remarks and lack of understanding from others. Of course, there is a need to help them understand and comply with social norms in order not to be ostracised or to offend others, but it is up to us to decide to what degree. It is not necessary, and probably unkind, to compare them with the "normal" and expect them to be exactly the same.
I also did not allow my kids to roam freely in restaurants and public spaces for their own safety and to minimise inconvenience to others (knee-high moving obstacles in a restaurant are an accident waiting to happen, for eg, and also makes things difficult for waitresses). I would encourage you to keep on training your son to stay in his seat as long as possible, and to buy time with toys, colouring books or whatever. If you are willing, there is always the iPad or mobile phone though I would avoid those if possible. In the meanwhile, if you know your son can’t do it yet, avoid those situations for now, at least with those who are critical and lack understanding. For a while, I simply avoided long slow meals, and was always prepared to pack up and leave if my kids had had enough. With training, it’s a passing phase. -
Also wanted to add - your acceptance of your husband and your appreciation of his idiosyncracies is very encouraging to me! I often wonder if my girl will find a life partner who can appreciate and value her differentness, just as we have. You give me hope!
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Hi Slmkhoo,
Have faith. I am sure there will be someone out there waiting for your girl.
As for me, my hub and i came a long way. We have our fair share of communication issues as well…I was attracted to him at first cos he is really knowledgeable in his field. And he was very "outspoken". What i meant is he will go all the way to put his point across to you. However, while doing so, he could have hurt his co-workers and was oblivious to other people’s feelings. Sometimes, even offending other ppl. To put it simply, i always tell him "u have no EQ at all". At times, he can just immerse himself at work throughout the weekend, ignoring us…
Now that we deduce there could be an asd gene around, we are skeptical about having no.2. -
So50:
what is SO ?My SO has been telling me, he is surviving now. So our child should be able to survive this better since there are now more help and knowledge sharing on this topic. I hope so and pray so...
I am probably quite new to all this at the moment. So i have been quite sensitive and easily upset when people pass comments just like that...thank you to all who had replied to my post and advise.
Jia you ! I will toughen myself up and thicken my skin up as well. -
So = significant other. My hub…
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So50:
Now that we deduce there could be an asd gene around, we are skeptical about having no.2.
Can't advise you there. I don't know what I would have decided had I known, but I got pregnant with my 2nd (very NT girl) before I realised that my older one had ASD. It's been great having the both of them and they get along well. -
Thanks everyone for the advise.
Hi tyeogh, my boy does not take any fruits. I am having a hard time to give him fruits. But i trick him to having fruits. He can take bread with jam… So i cut the apple or pear to tiny bits and mix with jam to give it to him. And he takes it… I dunnoe why my boy dun dare to take fruits. He sees me munching the apple, but he do not dare to bite it like how i do it. He will just keep holding it in his hands.
Does your boy likes stir-fried stuff? For noodles, i tried frying ‘bee tai mak’ with egg and onion + seasoning. Afterwhich, i cut the bee tai mak into small parts. "look like fat rice right?"…he seems to like it. Afterwhich i progress to fried meehoon, banmian and soupy stuff. Maybe you can try char kway teow? Afterall, its a SG’s favourite…Hehe…
Hi double e. Yes, gg indoor playgrounds is a nightmare. I brought him to one a few weeks back. He just drag us out and keep saying home. Then he will cover his ears and run around.guess I will have to slowly introduce this to him at a later stage… -
My ASD daughter has been telling me for a long time that she has a best friend in school. His name is J and they are sitting partners in class. I don’t think too much into it as being who she is, I am not sure how she understands the concept of friendship. Sometimes I see them during school dismissal pick-up where they may say goodbye or maybe have one or two more words with each other. That is all there is to it.
Yesterday I brought her to a classmate’s birthday party. It was at an indoor playground. My daughter has never been too good with indoor playgrounds cos her gross motor skills are not great, and she is many times put off by the noisy environment with the many kids around. J attended the party too. At some point in time J and my daughter decided to be partners at the indoor playground. J led her around the playground and my daughter followed happily, going up the steps and down the slides. Including the most challenging twirling slide which I thought she could not manage. When my daughter got distracted, J would tell her to follow him. When my daughter was slower in manoeuvring certain obstacles, J would wait for her. He was a good leader and she a good follower.
I have never known that my daughter is able to maintain a meaningful friendship with another friend. I have always thought that the lack of social skills is her greatest deficit that I have no solution to. But what I saw yesterday moved me greatly. Both kids are ASD, but they have found friends in each other. It was simply amazing.
I hope there will be more of such encounters to come. Where she can find her own friends, keep them, enjoy their companionship, and build her own social network. This is what is important for them into adulthood, and it will definitely be one item off my bucket list … -
ImMeeMee - that’s such a great encounter! Your daughter is really fortunate to find such a friend!
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