Super stubborn child

[smurf]

:thankyou: Autumnbronze for your moral support.

[autumnbronze]

smurf:

:thankyou: Autumnbronze for your moral support.

:hugs:

[Blobbi]

smurf:

I do agreed that setting good example is the key to disciplined-child. but a toddler who is only 2 cannot even express himself/herself knows what is good example? and certainly, we dun throw tantrum, so how he knows how to throw tantrum? it's nature lor...a child who throws tantrum to get what he/she wants.

I see what you're saying, Smurf. I just offer sympathies! They say that if you model good behaviour and repeat over the years, your child will eventually get it. Urb, mine is 7yo hor ...

Good luck and come here to vent frequently!!

[tamarind]

smurf:

UOB can anot ha? :?

Only Citibank Visa and Amex will work.

[stayhome]

I just read your post. My ds2 when she was 2 she used to threw tantrum and liked to cry alot; it can last very very long. No one can stop her. finally I tried to wispher into her ear calmly and softly, she stopped. from there on I know we can force her, we need to tell her calmly with lot of patience and love. Even till now she will be 15 this year still the same. As I have a ds3 on P1 now with behaviour problem, at time I so stress that I cannot control myself and you will see that me and ds2 will also have problem. This is because I didn't talk to her calmly and patiently. She think that I no longer love her.


I know not easy especially with others stress. \"jia you\" :rahrah:

[smurf]

Thanks Blobbi for your support! :celebrate:


Thanks Tamarind.:)

Hi stayhome,

hmm, do you mean DS or DD? DS means son, DD means girl leh...

anyway, kinda stress up when see your post, hahah...cos she is 15 now and still the same?? :?

[stayhome]

Sorry, just joined. I was guessing some other terms all of you using too.


My dd2 is at the teenage stage which is most rebellious. In-fact my dd1 was very sweet and nice, I just need to say ‘where is my good girl or show me my good girl’. She would do the thing I said. Of-course somethimes she was not happy, she would say ‘no more good girl’. But I still be able to get her do what I said. During her 15, I had only a few very minor conflicts with her. Now she is 17, she will talk to us very nicely with respect. Everyone is different, some just need more attention and love like my dd2.

[cnimed]

stayhome,


I understand what you are driving at - every child has a different temperament ya?

smurf,

ya, my ds2 talks very well. So well he screamed at me to get out of the house a few days ago after I showered him (he has eczema and it's painful, but no choice). He can say really horrible things, but at the end of the day, he's still only 2 plus. While I do stop him, I also do not take offence, and after he calmed down he hugged me and apologised. I think one of the dangers of being mothers is that we can take the words and actions of young children too much to heart.

If a behaviour is unacceptable, we can let them know without ignoring the genuine sentiments behind their behaviour. For eg he screamed, he kicked, he tried to push me out of the door, but ultimately he's frightened and in pain. But isn't it also part of survival instincts? Can I fault him for that? I can't.

Another thing that was important with both my ds is to have a FULL STOP to any tantrums. After they apologise, I will tell them it's ok, it's over. It helps with my very sensitive ds1, and it's good for my fiery ds2 so that he doesn't have to wear the label of naughty boy. And they understand because they now also use the phrase with me and each other.

One last thought - I have always been very aware that while I found it difficult to deal with ds2, I did not want to \"break\" his spirits to make him compliant. I know this \"stubborness\" and intensity, can also be a real asset to him in the positive form of determination as he grows into a man.
It's really so much harder to \"make\" someone determined, and here he is, all of 2 years old and showing me how determined he can be! Unfortunately his object of obsession may be nothing loftier than a lollipop at this age...

[angela]

smurf:

Hi Deminc,


great advice. it's good that your DS2 can talk, for my DS2, he still cannot talk, so that makes thing even more difficult for me, cos he can't express himself yet. he can only point to what he wants and many times, I can't make out what he wants, cos he would be pointing at the direction which I think he wants, but a lot of time, that's not what he wants, and we got frustrated, he is frustrated cos he cannot talk, and me, frustrated, cos I dun understand him.

for now, when he is angry, he would stick out his tongue at me...I think he hates me...

I really need a break!!!

Hi,

Recently, my DD1 who is 2 years old also very hard to control. She will cry over a small matter. When she is not happy, she will throw her favourite soft toy or stuffs on the floor. When my DH and I ask her to pick them up, she just walks away and ignores us.

When my DH brought her out shopping, she always wants to walk by herself and curious of touching the displays. My DH worried that she will trip over and fall down so will carry her but she will struggle to come down. Very hard to control her. Sometimes, we find very tired after bringing her out.

When she is not happy, whether is at home or outside, she will cry and lie on the floor and throw the tantrum. We have try to talk to her nicely, but she refuses to listen. Very hard to reason her as she still does not know how to talk. She only will point to the things that she wants. Before that, she was a very sweet little girl but we dunno what happens to her now, becomes very naughty and stubborn. Sometimes, I scold her, my mil will side her. My mil also complains to my DH that why I was so strict to my girl as she is just a 2 years old girl.

No one can control her at home but when she is in childcare, the teachers told me that she is very well-behaved girl, will follow instructions and never cry or throw tantrum.

We really dunno how to discipline her.

[autumnbronze]

deminc:

One last thought - I have always been very aware that while I found it difficult to deal with ds2, I did not want to \"break\" his spirits to make him compliant. I know this \"stubborness\" and intensity, can also be a real asset to him in the positive form of determination as he grows into a man.
It's really so much harder to \"make\" someone determined, and here he is, all of 2 years old and showing me how determined he can be! Unfortunately his object of obsession may be nothing loftier than a lollipop at this age...

Well said, deminc.

Food for thought .....