All About Bullying
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We teach our kids to walk away from the bully and to always inform the teacher. My kids are small in size but can run fast, lol!
Confrontations won’t always work and can turn out badly. -
I disagree that bullying has anything to do with size, built or gender. It’s a stereotype. I know of a tiny, puny, short kid in my son’s class and he’s a real smart one who whips out his sad, little face to the teachers every time some thing happens. But outside of class he’s the gang leader and is responsible of kicking boys or girls out of the gang if they do not listen to him. I worry for the other kids but can’t help admire his smarts given his puny frame. But he is strong and super quick. But he is a true bully as he uses everything within his means to get what he wants and get rid of people he doesn’t like - even get others to tell on the kid to teachers. Real scary this one. Then there are girls who uses soft bullying - mainly ostracisation to feel powerful and popular. there is no one single face to a bully except when media chooses to stereotype them. On the other hand, I agree with the many parents here that that label ‘Bully’ is used way too easily. It must be a conscious repeated occurrence and not simple an angry situation where kids quarrel or fight,
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LOLMum:
----what would you do if a parent marches up to your kid and scolds him for being a bully? or if you witness such a thing, what would you do if the kid is not your child?
lately there were 2-3 cases of parent doing that to kids at ds's school. we dont know what happened between the kids and if school knows of the happenings between the kids.
there are many reasons why the parents approach the kid eg. a) not happy with the way school dealt with it b) unhappy with no actions being taken by school c) parents of bully do not think it is a matter of bullying or their kid is a bully d) parents of victim didnt tell teacher cos' they thought it might be a one or two times kind of things or their own kids might have been mistaken about bullying but after a few times, parents decided to take tihings into their hands.
Ironic that we are talking about bullying and I have seen many parent who are bullies too. No parent should approach another's child with the intention to chide, scold or hit, without the child's parents knowing or the permission pf the child's parent. I have seen a man approach and yell at a 5 yo little boy who was playing rough with his daughter, equally rough I might add, as children do, and the man loomed over the little boy and yelled at him until he cried. The boy's parents were not around. I should have stepped up to stop him but I hesitated as I knew the man was a bully and chose to comfort the crying boy after the man left. His daughter didn't suffer a scratch and yet he terrified the boy. A 5 year old needs teaching not bullying. It was clear to me who was the bully in this case. -
Agreed that the size and built are not the determining factors of if the child would be bullied by others.
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Agreed that the size and built are not the determining factors of if the child would be bullied by others.
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A good article on bullying: http://www.upworthy.com/finland-is-really-good-at-stopping-bullying-heres-how-theyre-doing-it?g=2&c=ufb4
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it happened to my son too. his classmate and his father waited for my son after school. threatened and scolded him. told his teacher but his teacher didnt dare to talk to them. only told my son to run back to school if they approach him again. my son was under 140cm. his classmate 1 head taller than my son & the father around 180cm.
finally i know why the teachers scared of these parents. the parents are complaint king & queen. demanded teachers to say sorry to their son. at p5 camp, special treatment. the parents picked the boy up in the evening and sent him back the
next morning. so indeed there are such bad parents. -
How will u deal if your kid said some one bully him in school (not constantly, but a few times)? How to differentiate a playful taunt and physical bullying? The aggressor denied the actionss, could it be didn’t want to get into trouble or he doesn’t view it as an act of bullying in the first place?. Is the victim being over protected? Where to draw the line?
what if the aggressor is a girl?
What if the aggressor is a special needs kid?
Can I approach teacher to get their parents phone number for direct clarification? -
Me in dilemma too..more on the verbal side of talk and say something that is not factual that makes dd1 jumping and burst into tears after a period of time trying to contain it, and also having 2 faces. I find my dd start seeing people at the not so good side. Eg, when we were on the way to bookfest the other day. I saw a similar age gal eating and holding hand with her dad, the walk properly and not jumpy type..As my girls always playful, I pointed out to dd1 say see how well behaved the girl is.. And dd reply was mommy some people are very bad in fact but in front of teachers and their own parents, they are entirely different..I have seen few already
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Bullying is a huge topic and such a complicated one! I will try to blog about it soon.
Thanks to my son having been in an international school for a couple of years, I (we) have been exposed to all sorts of bullies. LOL.
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