How much is enough for retirement in Singapore?
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TheAnswer:
I am a fairly harsh parent I think compared to most parents. I dun believe in giving a sheltered life. They have been told that inheritance is not a must to have. They need to work hard themselves. I believe in providing only what is absolutely necessary. We have a helper but kids are not allowed to order our helper around. The helper is to help me with chores etc. If hubby and I do not order the helper around, my kids shouldn't be doing so. In fact, my kids are taught to keep a share of food for the helper. I'm referring to the extras they get at parties.. like from party packs.. sharing is caring.. Kids and hubby have to help around the house though we have helper cos we have zero intention to keep the helper forever. My boy and hubby used to do most of the housework. Cook, clean. All can do. Now already more relax cos with helper, everyone does lesser but still must do. I dun believe in so busy until cannot do. That's nonsense! Follow the roster before TA starts expressing displeasure.
Like! -
TheAnswer:
We have zero intention to pay for their property and their wedding. They need to learn to live within their means. Whatever excess we have can be donated away if they dun deserve it.
Same. We also have no intention to pay for their university education (if they go to uni). A lot of my friends say we should because it's not nice to start them out with debt before they start working, but we did that. Got a part time job as teenagers, saved some money (and of course spent some as well) and then got a loan for university. I didn't expect my parents to dip into their retirement fund for my studies and my kids shouldn't expect that either. -
Hmmm... to set as role model n save more
Kids no need to go expensive travel with parents ? JB, malacca n KL are luxury Last time we also stay in Singapore or msia only ??? :evil:
eating Macdonald n KFC was luxury too ....roast duck ,roast chicken were festive only luxury too ... sigh ...time change ...
Having enough money for our old age years is a already a big help to kids next time. We dun like to be a burden. I am thankful n Blessed my old folks are v self sufficient too.
Having no helpers , I see my young ones st home v 疼惜 the grand parents who help n cook for them when papa n mama are working outside -
20 years ago, my mum did NOT pay for my local Uni education. Not that she couldn't afford it but she made me took up a study loan from her CPF which I later paid off after working for 3 years.
15 years ago, when I wanted to get my matrimonial home, I asked my mum to temporarily lend me $20K as my FD would not be maturing so soon. She refused claiming she didn't have the money. Ok, never mind, DH and I settled the financing ourselves. Not long after that, she asked me which bank then offered the best FD rate for her $50K savings. In my heart, I was thinking, I tot you told me you didn't even have $20K?
Zero dollar from my mum for my wedding and she gave me a microwave oven, which she won at a lucky draw, as my house warming.
My mum is a true blood Hakka. -
lee_yl:
lee_yl, did you feel resentment against your mum? Sometimes I wonder - will such behavior create a reverse reaction from the child although the parent has good intentions?20 years ago, my mum did NOT pay for my local Uni education. Not that she couldn't afford it but she made me took up a study loan from her CPF which I later paid off after working for 3 years.
15 years ago, when I wanted to get my matrimonial home, I asked my mum to temporarily lend me $20K as my FD would not be maturing so soon. She refused claiming she didn't have the money. Ok, never mind, DH and I settled the financing ourselves. Not long after that, she asked me which bank then offered the best FD rate for her $50K savings. In my heart, I was thinking, I tot you told me you didn't even have $20K?
Zero dollar from my mum for my wedding and she gave me a microwave oven, which she won at a lucky draw, as my house warming.
My mum is a true blood Hakka.
My mum and my ILs are the opposite of what has been shared here. They are always ready to help financially (so long as it's within their means). Both DH and I didn't have enuf savings so come to our wedding, FIL foot most of our bills. Their love is unconditional n we are very grateful to have such parents.
It never crossed my mind that I will not help my children in future - Uni/wedding/property. So long as I can afford (after putting aside my retirement funds), I will help them unconditionally. To me, $$$$ is to be earned and spent, not to be hoarded, afterall, we can't bring $$$ to our grave. If it helps to make life better, why not help? Life is so short, why be miserable? Of course, it doesn't mean spend lavishly but within your means n not go into debts.
My retirement needs are little - $1500 maximum per month is enuf for me. I keep myself healthy with exercising n minimum stress so I don't need to spend on big medical fees. I tell myself I will stay in public hospitals which are heavily subsidized for locals.
I told my kids that whatever is left over after I expire will be theirs. This doesn't mean that they don't work hard now, it only gives them the assurance n comfort that they won't be in poverty as life will get even more tougher for them.
I don't blame them if they have materialistic aspirations like owning a condo as I can't afford to live in one. So far, they have showed to me that they are going to work/save hard to achieve what they want n I play a supportive role. They have never asked me for extra $$$$, only what they need to buy.
Just sharing my thoughts !!!! -
my hubby took a loan to pay for his studies in U...but he has worked for several years, so he just took a short loan...that 1 year when we were together was the toughest. as he had to repay his loan, we couldn't go for movies or whatever. thank goodness i don't like movies, flowers nor travel. meals were either at hawker centre or food courts.
i thought hubby would agree to son taking up a loan if he is able to attend U...guess what, hubby here didn't want son to experience what he had gone through :slapshead: so i kept quiet. when the time eventually comes, i will still insist son takes study loan so that he takes ownership of his studies and responsibility of repaying it. this way, he won't job hop or go for branded stuff when he starts working. -
I think i m deprieving my kids in a way too…like buying toys/eating at better places outside. Other than that I will usually give eg. I have increased her pocket money from less than a dollar to 3+ or even 4+ on most days as I would like her to feel comfortable when buying whatever food in canteen she wants to eat (even on days when she has food from home). I told her no to those small little things from bookshop which i will throw when I see it at home. Going to U I will prepare for them… if they dont use it and we also dont use it, it will be theirs later…But she knows I m a person who is careful with money on daily items so hopefully she learns value of money from being with me… different people has diff ways of showing love…both my mom and mil have unconditional love to us on these when we were young…and as a result we are the one who actually take care of them now…mil is needing money now after her savings all given to another sibling who rarely cares for her financially. That was her way of loving that sibling. Dh feels the responsibility as a son and I feel the responsibility as a person. My mom will only feel secured to have money in her accounts so with dh blessing, I gave her and I m happy to see her money growing, hopefully we have one lesser financial burden in future. I could scold the kids very fiercely but it will be a while before my temper go down. Other than that, i hope I could give them lots of unconditional love. Also, as mine are girls so they dont really to be toughen up, i guess.
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lee_yl
Hakkas are just very thrifty -
zbear:
Actually what your parents were willing to do for you and your then boyfriend is a reflection of what kind of persons you two are. You two must be worthy of their such support that they did what they did.
lee_yl, did you feel resentment against your mum? Sometimes I wonder - will such behavior create a reverse reaction from the child although the parent has good intentions?
My mum and my ILs are the opposite of what has been shared here. They are always ready to help financially (so long as it's within their means). Both DH and I didn't have enuf savings so come to our wedding, FIL foot most of our bills. Their love is unconditional n we are very grateful to have such parents.
I was a very strict parents when my kids were below 16. After I observed their basic spines and thoughts have been well formed, then I expose them to the luxury side of life gradually. Then, they are comfortable with whether staying in a 3 room flat or a landed property, whether to stay in a dorm-style room or a 5-star hotel while travelling, that they know a house is just a roof over their heads and what matters most is whether the house is a happy one or not (so the priority must be right that a happy house comes before a big house if they can't have both. I emphasise a lot on happiness that many times can't be measured by how much money one has). -
MrsKiasu:
Other than that, i hope I could give them lots of unconditional love. Also, as mine are girls so they dont really to be toughen up, i guess.
even for girls, we need to train them to be tough (coz really internal strength is the intangible wealth that can last for life).
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