How much is enough for retirement in Singapore?
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my hubby took a loan to pay for his studies in U...but he has worked for several years, so he just took a short loan...that 1 year when we were together was the toughest. as he had to repay his loan, we couldn't go for movies or whatever. thank goodness i don't like movies, flowers nor travel. meals were either at hawker centre or food courts.
i thought hubby would agree to son taking up a loan if he is able to attend U...guess what, hubby here didn't want son to experience what he had gone through :slapshead: so i kept quiet. when the time eventually comes, i will still insist son takes study loan so that he takes ownership of his studies and responsibility of repaying it. this way, he won't job hop or go for branded stuff when he starts working. -
I think i m deprieving my kids in a way too…like buying toys/eating at better places outside. Other than that I will usually give eg. I have increased her pocket money from less than a dollar to 3+ or even 4+ on most days as I would like her to feel comfortable when buying whatever food in canteen she wants to eat (even on days when she has food from home). I told her no to those small little things from bookshop which i will throw when I see it at home. Going to U I will prepare for them… if they dont use it and we also dont use it, it will be theirs later…But she knows I m a person who is careful with money on daily items so hopefully she learns value of money from being with me… different people has diff ways of showing love…both my mom and mil have unconditional love to us on these when we were young…and as a result we are the one who actually take care of them now…mil is needing money now after her savings all given to another sibling who rarely cares for her financially. That was her way of loving that sibling. Dh feels the responsibility as a son and I feel the responsibility as a person. My mom will only feel secured to have money in her accounts so with dh blessing, I gave her and I m happy to see her money growing, hopefully we have one lesser financial burden in future. I could scold the kids very fiercely but it will be a while before my temper go down. Other than that, i hope I could give them lots of unconditional love. Also, as mine are girls so they dont really to be toughen up, i guess.
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lee_yl
Hakkas are just very thrifty -
zbear:
Actually what your parents were willing to do for you and your then boyfriend is a reflection of what kind of persons you two are. You two must be worthy of their such support that they did what they did.
lee_yl, did you feel resentment against your mum? Sometimes I wonder - will such behavior create a reverse reaction from the child although the parent has good intentions?
My mum and my ILs are the opposite of what has been shared here. They are always ready to help financially (so long as it's within their means). Both DH and I didn't have enuf savings so come to our wedding, FIL foot most of our bills. Their love is unconditional n we are very grateful to have such parents.
I was a very strict parents when my kids were below 16. After I observed their basic spines and thoughts have been well formed, then I expose them to the luxury side of life gradually. Then, they are comfortable with whether staying in a 3 room flat or a landed property, whether to stay in a dorm-style room or a 5-star hotel while travelling, that they know a house is just a roof over their heads and what matters most is whether the house is a happy one or not (so the priority must be right that a happy house comes before a big house if they can't have both. I emphasise a lot on happiness that many times can't be measured by how much money one has). -
MrsKiasu:
Other than that, i hope I could give them lots of unconditional love. Also, as mine are girls so they dont really to be toughen up, i guess.
even for girls, we need to train them to be tough (coz really internal strength is the intangible wealth that can last for life). -
Yes being humble is another good thing…no more comparison could lead to a more peaceful life…I always believe 一山还有一山高。
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I think I’m pretty self sufficient. Didn’t take a single cent from my parents after graduating from Poly. My degree and post grad school fees were all from my savings. Whether renovation for house or wedding, just spend within my means lor.
We’re probably those rare few who actually made profit from holding wedding banquet. I didn’t really care about banquet but 长辈 insisted so had to to oblige. I recall only showing up for photo taking and on the day of ceremony. Let 长辈 ran the whole show they were super happy anyway. I controlled expenditure and made sure 长辈 kept within our budget
I don’t mind paying fully for my kids’ Uni fees though. No need to take loan. I doubt I will pay for their wedding or renovation even if I can afford. To begin with, I don’t really have any aspiration for any 梦幻婚礼 of my own, so naturally it doesn’t bother me at all whether kids want to 旅行结婚 or hold banquets, entirely their decisions. And renovation wise, there’s cheap reno and lavish reno, I think they should spend within their means. Not right to expect parents to renovate their matrimonial home even if parents can afford. Education is their 嫁妆 -
sleepy:
Not right to expect parents to renovate their matrimonial home even if parents can afford
Ya, kids who even dream of that is 'scary' to me.
Dont have such big head and so dont choose such big hat - it's common sense that all should have (unless the parents are really rich and kids are matured and stable then even giving them a house out of their stock of a few houses maybe OK. If 败家子/女 kind, can forget about it. But there again, usually 败家子/女 are the results of parenting and so such parents will continue to groom their kids in a 败家 way by gifting them this and that, setting them up for doom of 富不过三代）. -
zbear:
No need to be so thrifty until like enrol for hunger camp la.. eat well to maintain good health.. eat well as in proper food, balanced diet.. my kids are usually not allowed to choose what to have for most meals unless special occasion or it's a reward. They have to eat whatever is provided or wait for the next meal. If they have special requests, they can say it and we can consider but we won't be at their beck and call. Dun eat this then we cook that... no way I will entertain that.. I dun allow my helper to entertain that also..lee_yl:
My MIL was super thrifty. Once she nearly fainted on her way back from market due to hunger. However, DH and his sister totally opposite of their mum.
DH said perhaps he & SIL were both sick of being poor, suppressed by the mum for too long so when they have the earning power, they want to enjoy life.
I don't blame your DH/SIL for their reverse reactions.
I feel moderation is the key word. Spend wisely is the way to go! -
Though we r agressive savers, we are very generous to our parents. Hubby gives me free hand to decide on Ang pows, donations, church offerings, parents allowance. Nothing to discuss about. I just ensure that we save/invest 60% to 70% of our monthly income can already. The rest can spend. Dun torture ourselves also. Our parents rarely ask for anything but if they ask, we will be most willing to sponsor them. Holidays, health checks, restaurant visits. All within budget.
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