How much is enough for retirement in Singapore?
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MrsKiasu:
Other than that, i hope I could give them lots of unconditional love. Also, as mine are girls so they dont really to be toughen up, i guess.
even for girls, we need to train them to be tough (coz really internal strength is the intangible wealth that can last for life). -
Yes being humble is another good thing…no more comparison could lead to a more peaceful life…I always believe 一山还有一山高。
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I think I’m pretty self sufficient. Didn’t take a single cent from my parents after graduating from Poly. My degree and post grad school fees were all from my savings. Whether renovation for house or wedding, just spend within my means lor.
We’re probably those rare few who actually made profit from holding wedding banquet. I didn’t really care about banquet but 长辈 insisted so had to to oblige. I recall only showing up for photo taking and on the day of ceremony. Let 长辈 ran the whole show they were super happy anyway. I controlled expenditure and made sure 长辈 kept within our budget
I don’t mind paying fully for my kids’ Uni fees though. No need to take loan. I doubt I will pay for their wedding or renovation even if I can afford. To begin with, I don’t really have any aspiration for any 梦幻婚礼 of my own, so naturally it doesn’t bother me at all whether kids want to 旅行结婚 or hold banquets, entirely their decisions. And renovation wise, there’s cheap reno and lavish reno, I think they should spend within their means. Not right to expect parents to renovate their matrimonial home even if parents can afford. Education is their 嫁妆 -
sleepy:
Not right to expect parents to renovate their matrimonial home even if parents can afford
Ya, kids who even dream of that is 'scary' to me.
Dont have such big head and so dont choose such big hat - it's common sense that all should have (unless the parents are really rich and kids are matured and stable then even giving them a house out of their stock of a few houses maybe OK. If 败家子/女 kind, can forget about it. But there again, usually 败家子/女 are the results of parenting and so such parents will continue to groom their kids in a 败家 way by gifting them this and that, setting them up for doom of 富不过三代）. -
zbear:
No need to be so thrifty until like enrol for hunger camp la.. eat well to maintain good health.. eat well as in proper food, balanced diet.. my kids are usually not allowed to choose what to have for most meals unless special occasion or it's a reward. They have to eat whatever is provided or wait for the next meal. If they have special requests, they can say it and we can consider but we won't be at their beck and call. Dun eat this then we cook that... no way I will entertain that.. I dun allow my helper to entertain that also..lee_yl:
My MIL was super thrifty. Once she nearly fainted on her way back from market due to hunger. However, DH and his sister totally opposite of their mum.
DH said perhaps he & SIL were both sick of being poor, suppressed by the mum for too long so when they have the earning power, they want to enjoy life.
I don't blame your DH/SIL for their reverse reactions.
I feel moderation is the key word. Spend wisely is the way to go! -
Though we r agressive savers, we are very generous to our parents. Hubby gives me free hand to decide on Ang pows, donations, church offerings, parents allowance. Nothing to discuss about. I just ensure that we save/invest 60% to 70% of our monthly income can already. The rest can spend. Dun torture ourselves also. Our parents rarely ask for anything but if they ask, we will be most willing to sponsor them. Holidays, health checks, restaurant visits. All within budget.
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hercules:
Hercules, thanks for sharing (BTW, I enjoy reading your postings) and I agree with what you have said. Instilling the right values n being a role model as parents are very important for the future of our kids.I was a very strict parents when my kids were below 16. After I observed their basic spines and thoughts have been well formed, then I expose them to the luxury side of life gradually. Then, they are comfortable with whether staying in a 3 room flat or a landed property, whether to stay in a dorm-style room or a 5-star hotel while travelling, that they know a house is just a roof over their heads and what matters most is whether the house is a happy one or not (so the priority must be right that a happy house comes before a big house if they can't have both. I emphasise a lot on happiness that many times can't be measured by how much money one has).
To me, a flat or landed property is just a physical structure to live in. Its not necessary to slog n go into debt just to live in a condo. Afterall, what is more important is having a happy family to live with. My kids when young asked why dont we live in a condo as a large majority of their classmates do so. I was doing well in my job but I told them I dont want to slog n wiped out my savings (as you never know when my work career ends). I said more importantly, I have my family living with me.
Likewise for holidays, its not important to go to expensive destinations like Europe/USA. If you have spare cash, its ok but not necessary. To me, again, having my family together is more important. I am happy with a local staycation as I much prefer bonding with them and that doesn't mean only when they are kids. At every phase of their lives, I would want to spend as much quality time with them.
Actually, retirement doesn't mean you need huge sums like $1million per person. Of course, for tai - tais, its a different story. For an average person (like me) - when you age, you dont need to pursue material comforts anymore. A basic simple lifestyle is good enuf. Inner contentment is more important than external comforts.
Also, I noticed that many have to work part time in their teens to pay for their studies/first home etc. I gather this is becos our parents are not that rich and fear of future uncertainties made them to be very thrifty so they dont help their kids . Furthermore, education in the past is less stressful and less competitive so its much easier to juggle part time work with studies.
But now its different. We as parents are much richer than our parents and if we can afford to finance them (not 100%) why not? Also, education is now so stressful n competitive, why give them more unnecessary stress to cope financially? I always feel its better to have a quality life as you never know when your time is called up. Helping them doesn't mean they will not work hard for themselves.
Both DH and I have been blessed with parents who are not super rich, just average and they are willing to help in anyway. This doesn't make us take them for granted. In fact, we are very appreciative n will do our best to help them back in return. This has made both of us feel that we want to do the same for our kids. Give back what we have received. I suppose the saying is so true - children tend to do what their parents do so its important that parents think carefully of how you want to mould your kids. You reap what you sow.
Sorry for such a lengthy post and thanks for reading. Just suddenly feel the urge to share my inner thoughts.
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Normally if discuss with hubby. It will be keeping our holiday budget, whether to get a new gadget, renovations, additional property etc…
It is not easy for hubby to convince me to get a new gadget… money must be put to good use…
We also do not have a huge holiday budget though we travel far… -
zbear:
My kids worked during long holidays after they turned 17. It's really not because of the money but my intention to build their grit and to be groomed by hard knocks (my girl had to squat down on the floor of a retail shop to scrub off dirt stuck on the floor every morning before the shop opened for business and my son had to de-shell prawns in a kitchen when he worked as a kitchen helper). All my nieces and nephews worked in their tertiary years (to lighten their parents' financial loads so that their parents could save for their own retirement).
Also, I noticed that many have to work part time in their teens to pay for their studies/first home etc. I gather this is becos our parents are not that rich and fear of future uncertainties made them to be very thrifty so they dont help their kids . Furthermore, education in the past is less stressful and less competitive so its much easier to juggle part time work with studies.
But now its different. We as parents are much richer than our parents and if we can afford to finance them (not 100%) why not? Also, education is now so stressful n competitive, why give them more unnecessary stress to cope financially? I always feel its better to have a quality life as you never know when your time is called up. Helping them doesn't mean they will not work hard for themselves.
One of my nieces actually applied and excused from CCA and used the CCA time to give tuition, and she listed such tuition experience in place of CCA in her resume and to me, this is more impressive than the CCA if I were the reader of the resume.
These kids are full of potentials that can be stretched if we allow them.
Dont small see them. They can manage it if you allow them to.
*For kids to be able to take this kind of part time jobs, they have to be trained from young to be independent. If since young they were pampered, then it may be impossible for them to be kicked outside to 'suffer' as internally they just don't have the strength to stand on own and to shoulder more (and so parents of such will have to carry them longer).
Take the S girl, if her parents didn't train her since young (eg taking public transport to school and not chauffeuring her daily even they do have a chauffeur at home), it would be almost impossible for her to be able to lie so low and to still give tuition when she was in UK. So, have to start kids young so that ideally they can be independent at a younger age (independence = maturity = 'how to think'). We simply cant build internal strength in kids overnight. -
lee_yl:
U r doing very well now babe!20 years ago, my mum did NOT pay for my local Uni education. Not that she couldn't afford it but she made me took up a study loan from her CPF which I later paid off after working for 3 years.
15 years ago, when I wanted to get my matrimonial home, I asked my mum to temporarily lend me $20K as my FD would not be maturing so soon. She refused claiming she didn't have the money. Ok, never mind, DH and I settled the financing ourselves. Not long after that, she asked me which bank then offered the best FD rate for her $50K savings. In my heart, I was thinking, I tot you told me you didn't even have $20K?
Zero dollar from my mum for my wedding and she gave me a microwave oven, which she won at a lucky draw, as my house warming.
My mum is a true blood Hakka.
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