All about Cancer

[floppy]

Nebbermind:

I guess it depends on the age of discovery. At 80, how much more it treatment prolong? Can tahan the intensity of the treatment or not?

At 80, I would suggest to put off all treatment and enjoy the remainder of the patient's life. He / she is going to die, may as well enjoy the remaining bits.

[Jennifer]

If cancer strikes me now, I will opt for no treatment. Why burden others financially?

[starlight1968sg]

Jennifer:

If cancer strikes me now, I will opt for no treatment. Why burden others financially?

Jennifer
Depends on the stage/spread and age, if still relatively young and early stage, one should not deny any treatment

[lee_yl]

.

[Jennifer]

starlight1968sg:

Jennifer:

If cancer strikes me now, I will opt for no treatment. Why burden others financially?

Jennifer
Depends on the stage/spread and age, if still relatively young and early stage, one should not deny any treatment

Everyone sees life differently.

[lee_yl]

Star,

At 80 or 70, I probably won’t want to go through the painful treatment process too. At 60, when full recovery could offer another 10-20 years of life, to try or not to try? Knowing well that a large chunk of your retirement funds/savings and family wealth will be gone and your kids could be left with a heavy debt burden.

[lee_yl]

ammonite:

lee_yl:

[quote=\"starlight1968sg\"]what I can't understand or accept is subsidized patients often face \"ops theatres full\" while private patients can be accepted promptly in the same hospital.

both are patients except one pays much more.
so the only difference is $$ paid.

Earlier I shared about DH's colleague who passed away and the family was laden with a bill of $500K after whatever they could claim from insurance. Yes, the deceased was warded in a private hospital.

He was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer but was actually on the mend (recovered!) only when he suffered a secondary infection which turned fatal.

Just wondering aloud; if by spending $500K, you can potentially save your loved one from cancer stage 4, will you do it? Or will you rather save up the money as a legacy?

Very rare to recover from stage 4 and the treatment itself is suffering. In fact, i believe one does not \"recover\" from cancer, can only say it has gone into remission. It depends on the spread and location of the cancer, the age, the individual's will and the family finances. Some people prefer quality of life to length of life, others want that chance no matter how slim.[/quote]Yes, very rare, maybe 5 out of 100 patients?

Under the care of a (renowned) specialist in private practice who knows the patient's condition from head to toe, I would imagine that chances of recovery would be higher than being treated in a public hospital (wards B & C). Survival being the most basic instinct of living things, even if there's a very slim chance of recovery, people will still want to seize it.

[Nebbermind]

lee_yl:

Star,

At 80 or 70, I probably won't want to go through the painful treatment process too. At 60, when full recovery could offer another 10-20 years of life, to try or not to try? Knowing well that a large chunk of your retirement funds/savings and family wealth will be gone and your kids could be left with a heavy debt burden.

If at 60, after treatment you can still enjoy quality life, ie, healthy and without debt, then why not.
After all, if the $$$ belongs to you, you have all rights to do what you wish.

There's no guarantee that if you leave it to your spouse or children they won't waste it foolishly anyway.

[hercules]

Jennifer:

Everyone sees life differently.

How a parent sees life will have a great impact on how his/her children see life.

So ideally we must try to find a 'more balanced' way to see life by putting ourselves in the shoes of our spouse, children, and parents in such a way that in the event an incidence happens to anyone of them, how do we want them to 'ideally' decide; then from there, we may wanna decide along that way if the incidence hits us as a modelling for them.

This is one of the greatest responsibilities as a parent I feel, that to leave behind some 'intangible yardsticks' for the children to grab on through our decision making in time of adversity (when to fight, when to let go, when to reconcile, etc), esp when we are no longer around.

These 'intangible yardsticks' are far more valuable than any sum of money that a parent intends to leave behind for their children as they are strengths that can last for life.

Sharing my late mum's story with you. She got Stage 2 cervix cancer when she was in her 60s. That time she was helping to take care of my sibling's kids who were in their preschool years. She fought hard and 'recovered' from it and managed to live for more than 10 years before got hit by a new cancer in her colon in her late 70s.

Her colon cancer was at stage 4 upon diagnosis and had spread to her liver. She told me at her dead bed that she was ready to go as my sibling's kids are in their teenage years and doing well and she had accomplished most if not all of her life's missions. We agreed on having no treatment.

It was a blessing that she died in her sleep peacefully in the hospital, that I believe that she 'willed' herself to death to spare herself from further sufferings and her kids and grand kids from emotional pains / draining of financial resources / etc.

That is a mum and grandma who had left behind a great legacy for those who love her.

[hercules]

Past few nights have been attending a wake of a childhood friend’s dad, passed on with lung cancer at age 77.


Friend was recounting in tears of his last leg in life.

Diagnosed about 6 months ago at Stage 4. He opted no treatment and was in and out of hospital frequently as a subsidised patient. Doc said minimal time left and was given all the morphine jabs to be self administered at home. He lived his days in super pain (as the cancer had entered his bones and so was even when touch his skin he also would feel painful kind of pain). He once told my friend that if he had the courage, he would prefer to jump down to end his pains as well as the pains for those who were taking care of him (his old wife and his second son who were living with him). Both daughter and dad cried in their helpless manners in dealing with the pain.

Eventually, he passed on in his sleep after a morphine injection at home. All felt sad but knew this was better for everyone.

His wake and funeral cost more than his subsidised medical fees.

His painful journey is a stark contrast to one of my 62 yo friend who died of brain cancer at age 62. A successful high ranking banker with 2 grown up kids. He stayed in a private hospital for about 40 days before passing on. He also opted no treatment and only requested full palliative care. So he was under a full team of specialised palliative care docs and nurses and lived ‘comfortably’ during his last days. Total bill (from diagnosis about 9 months ago to last day) was about $600,000+, covered by IP plan, leaving behind his millions for his family.

Late stage cancer can be real painful as I have witnessed several cases of close friends and relatives so far. So painful for the patient that can break the hearts of those who love him/her.

Many refused receiving palliative care when offered by doc as acceptance equates ‘giving up’. This common mindset needs to change for the good of the patient (if patient is not in the right frame of mind to decide) as the patient is the one suffering while the living ones are the ones who are trying to prolong his life for own selfish ‘love’ and thereby extending the suffering.