How do you instill self-motivation in a child?

[zac's mum]

Carolina:

Hi all,


We are wondering, how do you encourage and/or instill self-motivation in your child/ren?

Thanks.

This is a tough question and I've been pondering over it. We are also trying to move away from a reward system, which is fantastic for preschoolers but quite immature for my P1 kid. The effects are not long-lasting.

I see various levels of motivation for wanting to do well (whether in studies or in life) -

Very primitive level: fear of caning/punishment

Preschooler level: desire for whatever immediate reward/carrot being dangled

Somewhat higher level: desire to please parents

Somewhat higher level: desire not to lose out to peers

Bigger picture/longer term motivation: desire to get into school or course of own choice

Biggest picture/most noble motivation: desire to make others' lives better (eg want to be a doctor so that can treat poor rural patients, or want to be an inventor so that can design machines to solve difficult problems in the world).

[drain131]

i think it is great to include new goalds continually in this age

[TWU]

Carolina:

Hi all,


We are wondering, how do you encourage and/or instill self-motivation in your child/ren?

Thanks.

Good morning Carolina,

As shared in other thread, children have no motivation to improve may due to lack of self-confidence, they don’t believe in themselves.

eg a child scored 33 for CA, he/she put in efforts subsequently and managed to score 43 for SA.

However, he/she would still be punished/lectured by parents. Parents of this child noticed only he/she still failed the subject instead of his/her improvement and efforts.

If such keep on happening, this child will become increasingly pessimistic and no motivation to improve.

Do look at strength of a child instead of over focusing on weakness of the child.

A child must have good understanding about purpose of going to school and purpose of sitting for examinations/tests - (1) go to school to acquire knowledge and skill (2) sit for examinations/tests in order to know child’s depth of understanding for taught subjects/topics.
eg a child scores 50% for a subject, this child understands only 50% of the taught subject, this child understands well the taught subject if one scores high %.

In other words, score should be pegged to knowledge has acquired by a child instead of capability of a child.

[kiasumom1]

zac's mum:

Carolina:

Hi all,


We are wondering, how do you encourage and/or instill self-motivation in your child/ren?

Thanks.

This is a tough question and I've been pondering over it. We are also trying to move away from a reward system, which is fantastic for preschoolers but quite immature for my P1 kid. The effects are not long-lasting.

I see various levels of motivation for wanting to do well (whether in studies or in life) -

Very primitive level: fear of caning/punishment

Preschooler level: desire for whatever immediate reward/carrot being dangled

Somewhat higher level: desire to please parents

Somewhat higher level: desire not to lose out to peers

Bigger picture/longer term motivation: desire to get into school or course of own choice

Biggest picture/most noble motivation: desire to make others' lives better (eg want to be a doctor so that can treat poor rural patients, or want to be an inventor so that can design machines to solve difficult problems in the world).

thanks. Actually reading this post would help to mold certain culture or habits at home early. I like how it's a progressive manner your ideas are! Thanks again

[Janet32]

Whenever our little girl achieves something even if it’s little, we celebrate. Knowing how to celebrate and enjoy success, both their own and others’, will give your child something positive to aim for.

[ra1n]

My parents always say encouraging words to my sister ‘you can do it!’ Or something like that, and I can see it helps.

[hethet]

even more challenge to deal with the kid who is easily contented. not motivated to do better even with the ability to do so. will choose to forgo carrot/reward if were told to work harder to achieve better outcome.

[zac's mum]

kiasumom1\" post_id=\"1812206\" time=\"1509332613\" user_id=\"158925:

zac's mum:

[quote=\"Carolina\"]Hi all,

We are wondering, how do you encourage and/or instill self-motivation in your child/ren?

Thanks.

This is a tough question and I've been pondering over it. We are also trying to move away from a reward system, which is fantastic for preschoolers but quite immature for my P1 kid. The effects are not long-lasting.

I see various levels of motivation for wanting to do well (whether in studies or in life) -

Very primitive level: fear of caning/punishment

Preschooler level: desire for whatever immediate reward/carrot being dangled

Somewhat higher level: desire to please parents

Somewhat higher level: desire not to lose out to peers

Bigger picture/longer term motivation: desire to get into school or course of own choice

Biggest picture/most noble motivation: desire to make others' lives better (eg want to be a doctor so that can treat poor rural patients, or want to be an inventor so that can design machines to solve difficult problems in the world).

thanks. Actually reading this post would help to mold certain culture or habits at home early. I like how it's a progressive manner your ideas are! Thanks again[/quote]Update: the same child is now in P3. Recently I have witnessed a sudden self-motivation (but only for his 2 favorite subjects) - I’m still pondering where this sudden sense of responsibility from. Is it simply a developmental milestone? I still need to nag him about the homework routine when it comes to his other subjects. But for his favorite subjects, he will remember (i) that he has homework for those subjects (ii) to take out the relevant books and bring them to his study table (iii) do the homework immediately, cheerfully and without pause/excuses (iv) happily pack the completed homework into his bag.

None of the above motivating factors that I’d previously thought of and listed. Maybe inner responsibility appears suddenly at one point in a child’s life?

[yapcf09]

Hi indeed needs alot of patience to motivate a child. After giving tuition as full-time tutor, I learnt to be patient and observe the child behaviour and flow along to motivate as required. Eg when teaching Chinese, they may resist or distracted by other stuff…instead of getting frustrated I learnt to observe that they trying to escape from the subject by being difficult to relieve their stress. Usually needs to make learning more enjoyable and encourage them even progress is slow. And to treat them with respect, try to see the problems from their perspective and negotiate to get work done:)