No Problem is problem

[dolphinsiah]

Funz:

hquek:

Very strange. if he does housework, he's helping ME....if I do housework, I'm definitely not doing him a favour...sometimes I really wonder why the disparity.

Haha. I like this part.

DH & I had this ironed out long time ago. At that time we were newly married, no maid, no kids. He still wanted to continue with this singleton lifestyle. Golf, mahjong, pubbing. After an arguement about his not putting in his share in maintaining the house, he had the gall to tell me ok, he cancel his golf session for that weekend to 'HELP' me with the housework. I got fedup cos after all the talking and arguing, he still thinks it is my responsibility and he is doing me a favour. I went on strike. Refused to wash any of his clothes. He woke up 1 morning and realised that he was out of underwear. :lol: Asked me what happened I told him oh I did not know that you want me to 'HELP' you wash your clothes. Ok. Saturday I cancel my gossip session and 'HELP' you with the laundry. That night itself he came home with at least 10 more pairs of new underwear. And from then on, he pitched in and will offer to do the laundry or vacuum the floor. After some time we decided to get a part time maid cos we are really do not fancy spending 1/2 the weekend catching up on household chores.

Yeah... I did this to my spouse when we were newly wed ...many years ago....went on strike...ran away...threaten to divorce....

But you know Leopard never changes its spot....

Now I give up to \"talk sense \" to him as I do not have time to waste arguing with him....

He will said\" you are the one who do not want a maid not me...\"

I tolerate because of the kids....not throwing pots and pans at him :x

Once the kids grow up...I will show him my color again

[minnie2004]

kuzco:

If I can turn the clock back, I will not take the same path again. The only thing that I am thankful for is ds. My hopes are on him and he is why I am still tolerating all this.........

Seems this is the same sentiment many of us share. Just have to tolerate for the sake of our kids. Afterall, they are the best gift we ever have :snuggles:

That's why sometimes I tell my single girlfriends jokingly to go to a sperm bank if they want kids. Saves a lot of trouble dealing with men

[3Boys]

To all the hubbies and wives in distress…


Please…take a pause from your busy-ness and find some time to re-connect…for your own wellbeing and that of your family.

You gotta draw the line somewhere, do not allow the excuse of housework and work commitments get in the way of your together time. People get used to that routine and before you know it, your relationship in on the rocks.

Please take pause

[hquek]

I know someone around me - earn good money, do ALL the housework, take care the kid's education and well being (kid academically doing very well). She does this happily becos of her kid, and doesn't seem to mind that DH is only in charge of R&R (rest and recreation).


To each their own I guess.

I used to tell DH that it was a mistake to marry...and then he asked me if I would have these 2 wonderful kids if I didn't...and it's quite true. Those 2 can be little monkeys rather than little cuties but then, through them, I have gone through a lot, and learnt a lot. It's this life experience that is immeasurable and I acknowledge that.

So now, I do what housework I want to do and it's not so much a chore than an accomplishment. The rest can wait until I have time, or lose tolerance on the layer of dirt.

But if DH ever comes onto this site (not likely), I still wanna say THANKS MUCH for helping out these days...(dunno how long battery last)

[hquek]

minnie2004:

That's why sometimes I tell my single girlfriends jokingly to go to a sperm bank if they want kids. Saves a lot of trouble dealing with men

I ever consider life with kids, WITHOUT hubby....cannot lah. he helps boil water sometimes, he helps bath them sometimes. And when I'm sick or in a terrible mood, he'll take care of the kids whilst this dragon is breathing fire....no hubby means I have to take care the kids whether I like it or not.

[buds]

hquek:

...(dunno how long battery last)

Like what 3boys said which i totally agree with,
take time out to recharge! We aren't disposable
batteries, we are re-chargeable ones. :lol:

So, plan that next me time or us time asap... do
not wait till the quake shakes your world...
realise its importance before it even
rumbles.

I am fortunate that i do not have major issues
with petty housework cos hubs is a real doll
when it comes to housework. :love:

Guess his cleanliness standard not so high class. :lol:
So, he always tells me own time own target, baby..

At times, i see the laundry has been hung when i wake
up in the morning... or all the dishes are already washed
after i finish my dinner... and he does all the vacuuming +
mopping work. Both my girls also chip in. Well, lucky me..

[3Boys]

buds:

hquek:

...(dunno how long battery last)

Like what 3boys said which i totally agree with,
take time out to recharge! We aren't disposable
batteries, we are re-chargeable ones. :lol:

So, plan that next me time or us time asap... do
not wait till the quake shakes your world...
realise its importance before it even
rumbles.

I am fortunate that i do not have major issues
with petty housework cos hubs is a real doll
when it comes to housework. :love:

Guess his cleanliness standard not so high class. :lol:
So, he always tells me own time own target, baby..

At times, i see the laundry has been hung when i wake
up in the morning... or all the dishes are already washed
after i finish my dinner... and he does all the vacuuming +
mopping work. Both my girls also chip in. Well, lucky me..

This is the place I want to be frankly. But both me and DW are super lazy when it comes to housework, so we have a trusty maid to do most of the chores. The kids are modelling off us, which is really going to be to their detriment in the future.

Aiyah, what to do? For the sake of keeping our relationship comfortable (it really does free up a lot of social time)

[buds]

We have been without helper all these years precisely

cause everyone pitches in willingly... not forced or told
to do... asked to help out probably a couple of times
when own hands are full.. but most times everyone's
quite automatic.. we sorta know our roles around the
house. Reminders esp for the children.. that's pretty
normal. It's a give and take when it comes to chores.

While with other stuff we believe, do not wait till tomorrow
what you can do today... we strike this belief off when it
comes to mundane housework. :rotflmao:

Housework can wait.. love cannot. Hee..
Nicer to spend more time together lovin' than houseworkin'..

So... Yes Yes.. we do what we can, when we can.. :love:

[Funz]

The best thing that anyone can do for the sake of their kids is to try to make their marriage work. Seems sad that 2 persons who got together to build a life together end up having to tolerate each other.

3Boys:

This is the place I want to be frankly. But both me and DW are super lazy when it comes to housework, so we have a trusty maid to do most of the chores. The kids are modelling off us, which is really going to be to their detriment in the future.

Aiyah, what to do? For the sake of keeping our relationship comfortable (it really does free up a lot of social time)

Nothing wrong with that. So long as we have our priorities right. DH and I were quarrelling so much about household chores previously and it really does not make sense at all. Instead of looking forward to spending time with each other we dread the weekends cos it's chores time (we both work very long hrs last time). And we have differring standards so whatever the other person does is not good enough. So in the end outsource and things improve tremendously.

[3Boys]

Funz:

The best thing that anyone can do for the sake of their kids is to try to make their marriage work. Seems sad that 2 persons who got together to build a life together end up having to tolerate each other.


Nothing wrong with that. So long as we have our priorities right. DH and I were quarrelling so much about household chores previously and it really does not make sense at all. Instead of looking forward to spending time with each other we dread the weekends cos it's chores time (we both work very long hrs last time). And we have differring standards so whatever the other person does is not good enough. So in the end outsource and things improve tremendously.

Good perspective :goodpost: