Elder Care and Child Care
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insider:
actually, with the increase in the construction of studio/rental apartments, sometimes it makes sense to gather all your aged siblings (who are not relying/living with their kids) and just live next to each other and then if need be, pool together the money to engage a health care provider/private home-visit doctor to visit once every fortnight/monthly.
PS: I don't put all my money on my kids. I keep some for my own retirement... I foresee at least 1/3 of parents will be in nursing/retirement homes 20 to 30 years down the road when this new generation of kids grow up to have their own families... (btw, childcare and retirement homes to me are the best businesses for the next few decades...)
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Well, I'm not living with either side's parents but it was a practical decision (lack of space, inaccessible unless got car, etc.). We're all okay with it. After all, my parents live close by and his parents can drive by on weekends and spoil my DD rotten to make up for the missed time.
I think my mom's dream retirement (she has actually retired) is for us to pack her and my dad of to a nice home in Oz. She likes the people, food, pace of life and climate there. She also has friends there. Too bad I don't have the cash to move her there. (My family wants to leave this place too.)
I have to thank my sis (who's still single and earns more than me) for taking care of my parents. I think if they really can move to Oz, she'd love to join them too.
As for sashimi's parents, our impression is that their nest egg is big enough that wherever they want to go, they have no problems paying for it themselves. So envious but to reach their level, I think very difficult cos they started planning early and they're rather thrifty. -
insider:
It may not be so all the time. My own mum also takes care of both my grandmas till their last breath and it's never easy at her time, bathing, feeding and taking care of their daily needs, while still gotta work and look after 5 young children. I salute to her! Of course, I know deep down both my grandmas are happy tat they still stay on with their children and grandchildren instead of being 'bounced' ard when they are bedridden.My mum sown her own good seeds.
She let her seven children witnessed how she painstakingly taking care of her parents till their last breath. The cleaning of their sore backs, feeding of soft food, etc, when my grandparents were ill at different times.
The good fruit - seven filial children whom I believe will anytime wait on her when the need arises...
PS: My dad will 'benefit' from my mum's good deeds coz he will be 'accorded' same kind of treatment too...
However now tat we are all grown up, not all 5 of us are able to appreciate what my mum did at tat time. At least I can't say for my eldest sisters who never failed to come up with excuses whenever it's their turn to bring mum for her regular checks or chip in for mum expenses.
Imagine telling us 'my child has CCA', 'we stay faraway', 'we are not working' as the lame excuses yet able to afford luxurious living. To think I still bring 2 of my kids along each time when it's my turn, stroller,big bags but that's mum is my responsibilities too.
Why are pple getting more self centered and forget about what parents have went through in the past? I really can't understand except shaking my head each time when we hear excuses time and again. :roll:
v sad to witness all these but they are facts of life... :oops: -
Just for http://www.mrbrownshow.com/2009/02/16/the-mrbrown-show-send-ah-kong/...(related http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kyEZII_MJDw site)
Funny, but sad at the same time. -
insider:
Agree. For me, my brothers and I will share all costs (equally) pertaining to our parents' expenses (travelling, medical etc). Even though, I have stopped working, I still feel I have to contribute and my DH is also supportive of such gesture.
I don't really care about how much time / money / etc are my the other six siblings are giving to my parents. I will do whatever that I can to put in my share - that I consider my duty...
Life is just a very short journey... Do your best...Invisible forces are at work in nature... Borrowing Chief's words, \"what goes around comes around\". -
Thinker:
For me, my brothers and I will share all costs (equally) pertaining to our parents' expenses (travelling, medical etc). Even though, I have stopped working, I still feel I have to contribute and my DH is also supportive of such gesture.
Yes...for SAHM who doesn't have a stash of personal cash, husband's support is very important. My siblings and I also shared the costs and visiting when my dad was hospitalised and subsequently on long term medication.
Off topic, but I guess the episode did made my dad reflect on his favouritism practices towards some siblings (a short reflection only though
) and made some of us siblings grew closer together too. Sometimes, it's a reminder to us parents to try to curb favouritism from manifesting within our own household cos in times like these, siblings with similar predicament band together and dispute may ensue as the stress level is high.
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jenniferjoey:
Very Interesting Topic here,
Frankly speaking, as a representative of sandwiched Generation of supporting children and parents at the same time and having difficulties coping with all the neverending increasing expenses... Hey wake up lah, many years down the road, unless Government build as many nursing homes as schools in Singapore, we are not able to afford and reserve a nursing home at all. Everyone will be fighting for a bed there. Maybe we can migrate to a third world country and build our dreamland for retirement.
For instance, I prefer to have grandparents staying at home, looking after our children while we employ a maid so that both spouses can go out and work. This should be WIN-WIN situation, unless grandparents want freedom rather than spending time and passing down all their knowledge and wisdom to your grandchildren. They can rent out their house and keep the money as extra allowance while staying with us.
I have seen an old lady with seven children staying in hospital for few weeks, yet none of them came and visit her. When doctor needed them to come to hospital during office hours to sign documents for the old lady to start dialysis as her kidney was failing but none of her children can make it in time, all came after office hour... (Non of them wants to take the responsibilities and pay for the medical bills) The youngest daughter came in evening time, dressing very elegant holding a very branded bag...
It is really how our parents looked after their own parents, and give us deep impressions on the needs of looking after them as much as they did... so that our next generation will at least come and visit us when we admit in hospital when we are old..
Hope everything goes well with all grandparents, children and grandchildren and live in harmony....
Conclusion: Don't have so many children and burden with expenses. Have just enough to able to spend time and have a happy life?
Wonder why some older generation have so many children, yet they push the responsibility around when it comes to taking care of their own old parents. :nunchuk:
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