Me Time!
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It is draining when both our parents and our children depend on us emotionally, physically and financially. And not forgetting planning for ourselves to be financially independent as we get older…hard to see the end of it at times…
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starlight1968sg:
The \"letting go\" is part of growing up, and we should be happy when we see that happening. Just as we sent them to school, to OBS, to work etc. Not letting them go may stunt them, just as if we never let them stop drinking from a milk bottle, or not letting take public transport. If we have a strong relationship, they never completely go away, and you will gain a son, and 2 young friends. We have to steel ourselves to do what is best for our kids, even if it is some cost to ourselves.Jennifer
How to let go my flesh who is forever my baby?
I know I may be doing more harm than good to dd. -
sean wife:
It is draining when both our parents and our children depend on us emotionally, physically and financially. And not forgetting planning for ourselves to be financially independent as we get older...hard to see the end of it at times..
My parents and inlaws don’t have much cpf from their working days. Our children should be in a better position as we are more likely to accumulate more cpf. -
slmkhoo:
starlight,
Don't be too hard on yourself - you've had a big upset recently, and your nest is emptying too. Your vacation is something to look forward to, but I think it would help if you find a long-term and on-going activity that you enjoy. A new hobby or activity, or volunteer somewhere?starlight1968sg:
Janet
You have something to look forward to
I don’t really know what am I looking forward to
I do agree with slmkhoo...you have just gone through a rough time, so it will take a while for you to recover.
working till you are very tired is just to make you knock out, so that you won't have the energy to think.
if there is a need to, find someone you can trust to pour out your feelings...bottling up inside is not healthy. -
ammonite:
To be honest, now that I have gone through motherhood, I would encourage my kids to start a family at a younger age. Start earlier (with family support) and you can enjoy the fruits of your labour sooner.
I would like my kids to be married young too...at least their kids are in their teens when they reach 50. marrying late and starting family later is going to be tough to adjust. energy level is just not there. -
Having kids at older age has its pros too, imo. Say when we are old, our kids still relatively young. Having more time to ourselves before kids come along..we could have more dreams when we were younger, I guess. One thing I find quite true, we have to keep up with our kids, cannot 'collapse'
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Another day has started
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janet88:
ammonite:
To be honest, now that I have gone through motherhood, I would encourage my kids to start a family at a younger age. Start earlier (with family support) and you can enjoy the fruits of your labour sooner.
I would like my kids to be married young too...at least their kids are in their teens when they reach 50. marrying late and starting family later is going to be tough to adjust. energy level is just not there.
my kids will no longer be teens when I reach 50.
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MrsKiasu:
Having kids at older age has its pros too, imo. Say when we are old, our kids still relatively young. Having more time to ourselves before kids come along..we could have more dreams when we were younger, I guess. One thing I find quite true, we have to keep up with our kids, cannot 'collapse'
The only pro I can think of is having time to devote to making money or building up skill set and career before the kids come, such that after they arrive, you have greater leeway to create your own work life balance with some family support. -
vinegar:
I m in early 40s but started to worry of getting old....time passes so fast. Yes indeed..our children grow, we oso grow old. Recently keep thinking abt my teen yrs, the crazy stuff that i did..climbing over the wall to sneak into the school, sneaking into condo secretly fr night swim, backpacking in europe, pubbing..etc.. that time did not need to worry fr terrorist, did not need to worry that i might appear in youtube fr the outrageous thing tat i did.. When young, not worried so much...did not think much of consequences
Recently i think about my teen yrs too. but realised that i couldnt remember much. my life really only got interesting after meeting dh and having kids. because such a good girl, non risk taker (think too much of consequences) and always listen to my parents. sometimes, interesting thing really do happen when you break the rules once in a while. going out with dh-then-bf was those time when i chose to break the rule...
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