At what age yr child should start dating?

[mummyoftwo]

My son (who is in Sec 2 now) asked me recently how I felt about him having girlfriends and I told him I will invite her home as I would like to know her more. I asked if he has one but he said no. However, I found out a few days ago that he indeed has a girlfriend and it has been on my mind since…I am encouraging him by giving him that answer? He denied having a girl and now I am not sure if I should come out open with him and let him know that I knew or just keep quiet about it…this is tough though…my little baby has grown up and I do not know how to handle it when it happens?


Help…

[sharonkhoo]

Could it be that his definition of ‘girlfriend’ and yours may differ? How did you find out? Maybe it’s a misunderstanding/misinterpretation somewhere along the line? It may be good to verify before assuming that he’s hiding something from you.

[mummyoftwo]

I saw on their instagram messages about "I love u"…I didn’t realised it’s now so open with his friends…i am not a friend on his instagram though so will need to handle this very carefully with him.


I have a good relationship with him all along but this really caught me off…

[loveangelfaerie]

When I was that age, I also had secret boyfriends which my mum was very worried about. It’s really common nowadays… but must balance school work and dating… in my opinion, if u stop him, there is high chance he will rebel and resist. U just got to educate him on priorities and hey, maybe if you invite his girlfriend home, it will be better. U get to know whether its a good girl and understand their relationship better.

[ammonite]

mummyoftwo:

I saw on their instagram messages about \"I love u\"....I didn't realised it's now so open with his friends..i am not a friend on his instagram though so will need to handle this very carefully with him.


I have a good relationship with him all along but this really caught me off..

Why don't you have a conversation with him about \"a friend's son\"? :evil:
Say your friend's son got a secret girlfriend and now the parents of the girl is kicking up a big fuss. Add that luckily she didn't get pregnant, otherwise he will have to drop out of school and work at McDonald's. Or worse, go to police station for underage sex. Say your friend is crying and crying, so upset, dunno what to do. Then tell your boy - please ah-boy, don't do this to your poor mother hor? Her aging heart cannot take the stress.

Then get daddy into the game and give a man-to-man talk.

Good? :idea:

(Er - doesn't mean don't date. Sometimes miss the boat will end up single forever. Group dates okay, must know the legal age too...)

[mummyoftwo]

loveangelfaerie:

When I was that age, I also had secret boyfriends which my mum was very worried about. It's really common nowadays... but must balance school work and dating... in my opinion, if u stop him, there is high chance he will rebel and resist. U just got to educate him on priorities and hey, maybe if you invite his girlfriend home, it will be better. U get to know whether its a good girl and understand their relationship better.

Thanks for the advice. I have been very open with my children since young - educating them on sex, what is wrong and right etc. I think I will sit him down and let him know that I knew about this girl and that I am open to it as long as he don't keep me in the dark and know his priorities. Like you said, no point stopping him, just be open.....

[Blue Pearl]

yeah we need to very open with children nowadays. One of my friend shared that when she confronted her daughter about her boyfriend, the daughter brushed her off and scolded her.

[cse1217]

mummyoftwo:

I saw on their instagram messages about \"I love u\"....I didn't realised it's now so open with his friends..i am not a friend on his instagram though so will need to handle this very carefully with him.


I have a good relationship with him all along but this really caught me off..

Wow... hmmm... now social media is very open about all these. Ask him to share what it means to be in a relationship and having a girl friend. Then ask him, how would he express interest in a girl if he like her. Will he say I love you? Or is it common to say that among close friends. Then maybe from there you have an understanding of his definition.

Have to be very creative now to know what children/teenagers are thinking. Because the era now is very different from before.

Continue to build trust with your son. Take him for what he says unless its very obvious hints or signs that he show. Tell him that you really value this relationship and hopes he can be open about what he feels and let you know accordingly.

[Rae4kids]

My P6 DD is very sweet and innocent. She doesn’t have a boyfriend, but of course she has crushes. She tells me that, which i am grateful that she doesn’t hide things from me. But according to what she says, some people from her level are in a relationship. I personally think it is too young to be dating, as they are still growing and maturing at that age.

[sharonkhoo]

My girls have been told "no single dates till they are thinking about getting married"! Group dates are OK from 18; mixed group outings with classmates and church friends are OK from 13. My girls are nearly 18 and 20 now. No single date on the horizon for either as yet and not even group dates (as in several pairs together). They are happy with mixed groups but no pairing up.