All About Autism

[tyeogh]

Cool Cool,

You are caught in a very bad situation. No easy answers. My son is in Pathlight P2. The odds of a foreigner being admitted is very low. Even citizens have to wait >1 year. As Zac’s mum suggested, you can try applying. But be cognizant it is going to be a shot in the dark. In the meantime, you have to figure out something for your son to do.

My Pathlight son attended a Foundation year at Pathlight. Meaning he deferred one year. That Foundation year was useful in giving him time to catch up. After that Foundation year, he was ready to learn P1 school topics. And he transited smoothly into P1. I think at 5.5 yrs, he had better communication skills than your son. So it may be wise to defer your son for one year too.

I have a relative whose severely autistic son attended MS primary school without deferring. After the first year, the school insisted he employ a shadow teacher to accompany his son in class as a condition to continue schooling. I think the trigger was whether the child is disruptive to others, and he was. The cost of a shadow teacher is about $2k a month. Even then, everything went over the boy’s head i.e it was as good as not attending school. The boy learnt nothing. He had to repeat P2. By P3, the school eventually kicked him out. He moved to a Special Ed school (other than Pathlight). There are a few SPED schools in Sg. They may not be as popular or good as Pathlight. In the end, that child wasted the most precious years of early intervention. He is 13 now, and has the diction of your son.

Taking all the above into consideration, imho, it is better to let a child have some form of learning in an environment and pace he is comfortable with than to "force" him to learn at a level he is not capable of. Then, at least, there is some progress. What you want to avoid is a situation where he learns nothing. This will then run contrary to the concept of early intervention.

You are faced with a very difficult decision indeed.

Perhaps you may want to consider letting your son attend/repeat Nursery or K1 at a MS kindergarten if possible. Cajole, plead, beg the kindergarten. If a kindergarten refuse your son, you can try another. Fighting to let your son attend kindergarten is a much easier fight than battling MOE at primary schools. The idea is to find a pace where your son can latch on to some form of learning. Then, let him face P1 when he is ready.

I am not sure about AEIS exams and procedures for P1. Just giving view points from an aspie learning perspective.

Edit: My K1 niece visited me today. She has far better diction and communication skills than your son. She was quizzing me what are the names of the 5 oceans (really got 5??). So I am reminded of K1 pace. Editing to include Nursery level for your consideration.

[Cool Cool]

Hi Zac's mum and tyeogh,


Thanks for your reply. I did not expect to receive such a prompt response since this thread is not active nowadays.
Yeah. I will have to make very difficult decision. I asked my close friends who have NT kids and their response is to go ahead and apply for P1 since I only have this chance to enter government school (without passing AEIS exam) saying that my son will catch up later. When I checked with my son's ST and EIP teacher they all said that he is not ready for sure and will have a hard time in school. So I am checking here with the parents of SN kids to have parents' point of view.
I have checked with his current childcare principle about repeating K2 and she has no problem. So his schooling should be Ok in the meantime.
I have heard about AEIS exam; very difficult to pass and long waiting list of Pathlight even for Citizen children.
Tyeogh, you are right that my son's communication level is not even K1 nor 3-4 years old. That's why I am very unwilling to let him try P1. I can't imagine how he will be so lonely in school and how he can survive without understanding and communication. I can also foresee the problems will arise later and the need of shadow teacher.

I think I will have to decide based on my son's current condition.

[tyeogh]

Hi Cool Cool,

That relative of mine also put his aspie child through MS P1 without deferring hoping that this son will "catch up later". I can understand why this is every aspie parent’s piped dream - that his loved one will one day be normal. If your child has a confirmed diagnosis of aspergers, to me, one should to be very clear eyed when making decisions. There is no way a diagnosed aspie can miraculously "catch up". Not unless he is a savant which only 7% of aspies are according to statistics. On the contrary, aspies need their learning processes "broken down" into smaller parts. So they can learn part by part at their own pace. If your child attends EIP, you should understand what I mean. The child is capable of learning. Just at a slower pace than NT children.

Putting an aspie child who can only express simple needs like "I want water" to P1, is akin to putting a P1 NT child through university. There is no way that child will understand what is being taught. In fact, that NT P1 child has a better chance. At least he can read some words. Your child may eventually learn some life skills like going to school, toileting and coming home on the school bus. But while he is in class, he is not likely to learn anything.

Have you seen Singapore’s P1’s text book? The Maths is not just numbers. The child has to read English sentences to answer which is larger 7 or 9, and what is 2 more than 5. There is a reason why primary school enroll 7 year olds and not younger. They should have at least a few hundred words diction that they have learnt in K2, if not more, to understand what will be taught at P1. And we have not even mentioned Mother Tongue or Chinese. So what if he finishes P1. Then come P2, how then? He would have missed a lot of P1’s learning, which will be needed for P2. And so on for P3.

What I find more detrimental is the child is trained to "ignore" everything taught in class. Since he does not understand anything. It becomes a routine not to learn. He develops a nonchalance or resistance to learning. This, to me, is the biggest set back. The child retards. As he ages.

Yes, you may secure a MS P1 slot for your child. The school fees is also not cheap for a foreigner btw. But at what immeasurable cost to your child? I do not want to be you. Sorry for being candid.

To me, the best scenario is one where a young aspie child can learn something daily. Even if he learns just 1 word a day, he would have picked up close to 400 words in a year! That’s more than what us aspie parents can ask for.

[sharonkhoo]

tyeogh:

... There is no way a diagnosed aspie can miraculously \"catch up\". Not unless he is a savant which only 7% of aspies are according to statistics. On the contrary, aspies need their learning processes \"broken down\" into smaller parts. So they can learn part by part at their own pace. If your child attends EIP, you should understand what I mean. The child is capable of learning. Just at a slower pace than NT children.


...What I find more detrimental is the child is trained to \"ignore\" everything taught in class. Since he does not understand anything. It becomes a routine not to learn. He develops a nonchalance or resistance to learning. This, to me, is the biggest set back. The child retards. As he ages.

I am the mother of an aspie girl, very mild aspie. But I totally agree with the above. It's best to slow the child down rather than try to get him to \"catch up\" (which is impossible). What they need is time. Hurrying and pressure is counter-productive. And no, they will never be completely \"normal\" but can learn to minimise the differences and cope. How well they learn depends on the individual, and some will do it better than others.

[Cool Cool]

Hi tyeogh,


Thanks for your view on this. I know my son needs more time. And I also know they can't catch up easily since I have been a parent of SN kid for more than 3 years. I have also seen his K1 and K2 work sheets (he is attending both K1 and K2 classes in MS childcare instead of attending Chinese class) and I know the high standard of Eng and Maths. That's why I want to defer him at least 1-2 year. But the Singapore education system doesn't allow me to do this. So my only choice is to go for private route.
This morning his ST teacher did language assessment and his level is that of 2.5 years old only. So this assessment result and your view and experience made my decision of not registering in phase 3 is more confirmed.
So the next step is to continue his schooling in the same childcare for next year. From there I will decide depending on his condition.

Thanks a lot for helping me in my decision making.

[Cool Cool]

[quote="slmkhoo"][quote="tyeogh"]… There is no way a diagnosed aspie can miraculously "catch up". Not unless he is a savant which only 7% of aspies are according to statistics. On the contrary, aspies need their learning processes "broken down" into smaller parts. So they can learn part by part at their own pace. If your child attends EIP, you should understand what I mean. The child is capable of learning. Just at a slower pace than NT children.


Dear Slmkhoo,

Very well noted. I know these come from very experience mum and many thanks.

[sharonkhoo]

Cool Cool:

slmkhoo:

[quote=\"tyeogh\"]... There is no way a diagnosed aspie can miraculously \"catch up\". Not unless he is a savant which only 7% of aspies are according to statistics. On the contrary, aspies need their learning processes \"broken down\" into smaller parts. So they can learn part by part at their own pace. If your child attends EIP, you should understand what I mean. The child is capable of learning. Just at a slower pace than NT children.


Dear Slmkhoo,

Very well noted. I know these come from very experience mum and many thanks.

[/quote]That was tyeogh, not me, but I do agree! Take it in small steps, at the appropriate level for your child, and although it seems slow, after many small steps, you will be able to look back and see how far he has progressed.

[tyeogh]

Yup, that's me. Nothing escapes the eyes of our resident guru slmkhoo! Lol.


Cool Cool,
Glad to be of help. Agree with slmkhoo. We make decisions that are best for our aspie kid, never mind the system. For me, the hardest part was drawing speech out of my son. At least you got that going for your son. After that, it is all about making him use language to communicate his needs and expanding his vocabulary. Once you can engage your son at his level, he will make progress. I have 3 other NT kids older than my aspie son. They are doing well in school. But to me, the sweetest amongst my children is my aspie boy. It is as though he is aware of his disability and because of it, is kind hearted and loving towards people. Take heart to know you are only doing what's best for him. :grphug:

[DesertWind]

Hi Cool Cool, Tyeogh and all,


How are you?

Cool Cool's post prompted me to share and I hope my sharing can further help you in your consideration and decision for your child.

My boy is now 10.5 yo and was in mainstream P4. We deferred his P1 and in the following year engaged a shadow teacher to support him in the mainstream school. He had shadow-support for 3 years. But in middle of P3, my boy started having frequent meltdowns and reacted very badly during SA1. The shadow teacher and case manager told me he was task-avoidance and having very bad attitude which we should not let him get away with. However, my motherly instinct told me he was very stressed and I told everybody to STOP! and do not \"force\" my boy anymore. After that, I applied to Pathlight for my boy but he was rejected reason being they don't think he could clear the PSLE, not even Foundation. We were disappointed indeed and so he ended up starting P4 in mainstream school although we had hope that he would start in Pathlight. I stopped the shadow support at P4 thinking to see how he would fared out without the added stress. Things seemed fine until the teacher called me up and insisted that I went in to observe him in class. I had the \"privilege\" of going in couple of times a week for the past few months to observe him and was horrified to see how disengaged he was. Initially, I too, thought the problem was his task avoidance but suddenly I asked him \"Is this work too difficult for you?\" and my boy said \"Yes\". So he absolutely refused to do any worksheet or take out any textbook. Furthermore, he could not do composition, could not do comprehension and upon insistence, would complete MCQ questions quickly and got most of them wrong. The most alarming thing to me was that he was started to skip class and was caught by me when I went into school to shadow him. He has never done that! He was also starting to act silly when he attended the pull-out class for a particular subject when previously his behaviour was alright.

At about the same time, another SPED school offered to interview him and after an assessment and 2-days of trial classes, offered him a place at the SPED school. I made the most difficult decision to transfer him to this SPED school and until now we have not yet given up on the mainstream school as cutting it out is the most scary thing imaginable to us. Could not bring ourselves to write to the school yet, told them to give us 3 months!

Yes, Cool Cool, even if you decide to spend the money to get a shadow teacher, must be prepared to see it though all the way or else mid-stream, what are you going to do if you could not sustain? Same as for international school. There is no cheap international or private sped school around. Unless you consider the primary school along Novena - Thomson (San Yu adventist primary school)? No vacancy for my boy's level already!

I had to force myself to think of the eventuality that what if he fails PSLE where will my boy go for secondary school? True, there are a couple of schools he can go to but he will not be well-supported and they are not meant for special kids. So now, I had to make a tough choice - force him to do PSLE or transfer him out now into the SPED school system?

We chose the door that has opened but are still wondering whether it is the right decision or not. If we go by \"peace in the heart\", how to have peace when you are making a choice that no parents would wish to do? Although actually we really SHOULD be thankful to God that my boy would have a place to go to all the way until he is 21 years old (supported by MOE) if necessary! On a positive note, after attending for one month of SPED school, it seems like my boy is now TALKING MORE.... is it because now that the pressure is off?

I should also mention that I have asked my boy many times whether he wants to go back to the mainstream school or go to the special school? My boy answered every time that he wants to go to the sped school. When I asked why? He said it is good.....

Cool Cool, imho, I will also suggest you explore the other SPED schools most of which have open houses a few times a year to consider if they would be better serve your kid. Please check with them on your unique situation as well and vacancies.

Tyeogh, as usual some of your views reflect mine as well and that in itself is therapeutic.
Thanks!
:celebrate:

[tyeogh]

Hi DesertWind,

:goodpost:

Long time no see! It is good hear from you! Thanks for sharing your story. It seems you and your boy have gone though quite a bit. Great that he is talking more now. What's heart warming is he indicated he likes his SPED school. That, in itself is a positive sign. He will learn more in an environment he likes. I also like that you are always checking and questioning. There is no sure path for our aspies. It's like, we have to keep re-inventing the wheel at every juncture. Just to map out a unique path for our special child. Sigh. Let me share what happened my end. Hopefully it can benefit someone.....