When your child wants this and that...

[mintcc]

[quote]House rules do works. but I have to keep reminding. sometimes, can be very triing. cos he forgets in about 10 mins. so have to keep emphasising.[/quote]
Kids are like that, but it sounds like things are improving, good job! amd
Yes, agree with winth, may be you need some help. Full time childcare is probably a good choice if there is no one available to help. Getting some supplements for your selp may help with the energy part too. Vit B + C helps alot for me.

[smurf]

My mum has other commitment so she can't help and my MIL passed away last year.


only care is child care, but my boy is adapting well in his current 3hr Kindy, so I do no wish to change that. I tried to put him in childcare before, but he hates it. and he 'begs' me not to send him to childcare. I asked him why, he said,' cos then I can't see u'. when I heard that, I melted.hahah.

[winth]

You might wanna leave your housechores to the last so that you get time to rest. I have a part-time cleaner to help me with my housekeeping, so that leaves a great part of the housechores done.


Does your hubby help out in the care of the children?

err... I've tried domestic helper (for 2 months, didn't work out), but if you are keen, you might wanna look into this area. But you might want to read about the maids http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?t=903 before making any decision.

[lambchop1976]

smurf:

why why why??? why my son is like that? I feel like banging myself on the wall. :stupid:

does he need to see phychiatrist?he wants me to 'sayang' him every min of the day. :shock:

relax and try telling yrself this \"phrase\": \"kids are like that. He is only 4. Its a phase....it will pass.\"

Yr son is just feeling insecure esp wif the new bb. No matter how much you sayang him 24/7 he still feel not enough. y? cos this time is now divided into 2 now.

I always struggled with my boys behaviour...still struggling. I always teach myself the \"phrase\". btw i hv 3 boys aged: 4y/o, 2.5y/o & 1.5y/o.
I rmb there was a period of very difficult time i hv all 3, the youngest being a newborn, no maid or external helper except my mom despite diff in walking helps me. My boys hv different needs. The then 32.5mths who wants to be read and taught new things constantly, the then 12mths struggling as he learns to walk and the NB constantly milking. I was very sad/depressed. I told my hubby i dun hv enuf time/energy for all 3 n blues ovr how can I share my love? I hv 3...how...

No joke its tough work but as i look back now 1yr later with a maid to do chores. It is worth it. :lol: I bonded with them all 3 of them! Nothing can replaced that time and space I shared so closely with them. My \"not enuf\" love for all 3? :love: Nonsense. God just multiply it by many folds now. He overflows my heart for the love of my kids.

Of course la now they learn to fight! But I told my eldest to set an example. Not easy for him at the age of 32mths he is a bro of 2. I constantly reminded him I love him and no one will take away his place in my heart. He is always and will be my 1st born. You will be surprise they do understd the word \"1st born\" of course u must place emphasis in. Then my second boy I told him to love his younger bro, respect the older bro...he is learning esp wif the loving part. Age gap too close lots of struggle. N to my youngest i told him (well he may not understd yet so must constnt remind him) that no choice he has to accept he is the youngest..last born but NEVER the least in the household. He has to respect both his da ge and he will always hv dad and mommy's love and his gege will also love and protect him. 9Hmm..tho he is the toughest of them all)

Give yrself a breather. Bring the little 1 out while the older one is in sch. Enjoy the sun, sand and do whatevr that makes YOU happy. No good cooping at home. Like me housework try to do later while kids slp if not get hubby to do it. Whn i was maidless, my hubby is the kind who DUn do housework but have no choice end up doing 10% cos I ask him \"housework or be the COW?\"..oh me the cow stop production after 3wks due to stress no milk

If u intend to get maids, be sure you or some1 home most of the time with the maid. Its never safe to leave children until they can converse to maids alone. far too many scary stories heard and experienced by myself rgd maids.

[smurf]

Hi winth,


have tried domestic helper but things dun work out too.

I think the main problem is his behaviour, not the housework, etc. it's his behaviour shouting, screaming throwing tantrum, etc that makes me crazy. houseworks are excuse lor.

Hi lampchop1976,

you got 3 at so close age gap? wow, must be tough. but at least got helper lah.

I reaally hope that that phase will soon be over. because his cousin is also like that (although not as jia lak) until now at age 8.

[schellen]

Some of you may be familiar with this column in TODAY, by Dr. Bill Maier, called \"Focus on the Family\". It's on page 28 today. Here's what's on today:


The Cure for Tantrums
Ever seen a toddler throw a temper tantrum in the middle of a grocery store? It usually makes their parents feel like crawling under a rock.
Tantrums usually start around the age of one or two and just about every toddler will throw one in public eventually.
How we react as parents makes all the difference in whether or not it becomes a habit.
It's natural for kids to defy their parents. When they want a toy or candy and we say no, they may scream or fall on the floor in order to get their way.
The best medicine is to ignore it -- even though it may be embarrassing for you.
Don't make eye contact or give in, simply keep on shopping. When your child calms himself, praise his improved behaviour.
And then redirect his attention to something else.
Research shows that any kind of attention during a tantrum is actually reinforcing it. It's good behaviour we want to reward, not the bad.

So if you have a copy, cut it out and laminate it. If you don't just print this page out. Then, when your child throws one, take it out and reassure yourself that you are doing the right thing. If kaypohs tell you otherwise, show this to them too and tell them to shut up, politely or in-your-face, it's up to you.

[ChiefKiasu]

schellen:

Some of you may be familiar with this column in TODAY, by Dr. Bill Maier, called \"Focus on the Family\". It's on page 28 today. Here's what's on today...

Excellent advice. Right up my alley. Thanks for posting it (I never read TODAY leh).

[schellen]

ChiefKiasu:

schellen:

Some of you may be familiar with this column in TODAY, by Dr. Bill Maier, called \"Focus on the Family\". It's on page 28 today. Here's what's on today...

Excellent advice. Right up my alley. Thanks for posting it (I never read TODAY leh).

You're welcome, Chief. Only people who don't have time to read actual newspapers (like me) or too lazy or can't be bothered to read actual newspapers (like me again), read TODAY.

[smurf]

actually hor, I think it probably works on other children, but not my boy. I tried this method lotsa time, everytime, he will throw tantrum even more and cry even louder, and he doesn't STOP until I response. and he can go on crying or screaming for hours hor. :shock:


that's how much attention he needs.

[tamarind]

My hubby does not tolerate any tantrums, crying or even whining at home. When any one of the kids cry, he or she will be punished.


We don't cane them. I show them that mommy is very angry and unhappy when they throw tantrums, my hubby is even more severe, his scoldings are like army style (but no hitting at all). They are put in the naughty corner, and they must stay there until they stop crying, and apologize. Once when my boy was 2 years old, he sat at the naughty corner (without any restraining) for about 2 hours. They don't get what they want for a long time. I can don't buy any ice cream, sweets, chocolates, or toys for a few months, or don't turn on the TV at all. I only bring the child with good behaviour out, the other child must stay at home with Daddy or my mother.

Last year we have a calendar for each of the kids. This one is for my boy.

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3632/3348031446_0d2f701f0a.jpg\">

When my boy threw tantrums on a day, we drew a crying face on his calendar. If he never cry and never throw tantrums throughout the day, we put a star sticker or smiling face sticker. We promise to reward him if he has smiling faces for the entire month.

This method does not work immediately. But slowly after a few months, he improves. His behaviour is still not perfect, but at he is aware of the consequences is he throws tantrums. More importantly, he understands that good behaviour has more benefits compared to bad behaviour, so it is better to be a good boy