All about Cancer
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The two re-marry cases I mentioned earlier.
The female married her husband’s best friend. It went something like husband was battling cancer for a few years. During those few years, this best friend helped in whatever he could for the family (fetching and sending kids to schools, etc). Woman and husband’s best friend took good care of her husband till the very end. If I remember correctly, the husband ‘entrusted’ his family to his best friend at his last moment (sort of 托孤）.
The male friend’s wife also battling with lung cancer for a few years before passing on. He took very good care of her during those few years (went for a final cruise with all the chemo drugs along with the kids). He lost maybe 10+ kgs over those years and looked underweight and haggard (and now start to be ‘rounded’ again).
Never easy for these caregivers of cancer patients. -
ChiefKiasu:
One of my aunts passed on due to kidney failure two weeks ago at 80 yo.
A very sad story. I can imagine how devastated his parents would be. When life is on a counter it changes a person's perspective. I had an auntie who had terminal stomach cancer who decided to stay home to meet her end. I was shocked by how thin she was but was comforted by her seeming acceptance of her fate.
Her kidneys were functioning at about 30% last year and doc advised dialysis. Aunt refused despite her kids persuaded. Aunt said 'enough of living' and she would want to just complete her life without 'artificial lengthening'.
So kidneys failed further. Arranged into hospice and then completed her journey.
Relatives were talking about why her kids never 'forced' her into going for dialysis. I find these relatives funny coz it is my belief that everyone should have a choice of how they want to live / end their lives. 'Departing' at 80 yo is not too bad in my opinion (instead of lengthening it and maybe have to suffer other complications and be more painful). -
hercules:
I guess up to a certain point, enough is enough.....? Such decisions are always not easy for the next of kin to bear. On one hand, we should respect how the person choose to complete the journey, yet on the other hand, we hope we can walk our journey with the person a bit longer....
One of my aunts passed on due to kidney failure two weeks ago at 80 yo.
Her kidneys were functioning at about 30% last year and doc advised dialysis. Aunt refused despite her kids persuaded. Aunt said 'enough of living' and she would want to just complete her life without 'artificial lengthening'.
So kidneys failed further. Arranged into hospice and then completed her journey.
Relatives were talking about why her kids never 'forced' her into going for dialysis. I find these relatives funny coz it is my belief that everyone should have a choice of how they want to live / end their lives. 'Departing' at 80 yo is not too bad in my opinion (instead of lengthening it and maybe have to suffer other complications and be more painful). -
My mum though ‘enough is enough’ was unwilling to accept her fate to leave. She didn’t get to see her grandkids enter U, find a job, get married etc. There were so many uncompleted dreams.
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ChiefKiasu:
I guess it depends on how you regard \"Love\", and whether it's only once in a lifetime. I expect the love for a 2nd wife will always be somewhat different, although not necessarily less, simply because of different stages of life, different shared experiences etc. As a wife, I would want my husband to continue to have a life partner to share with if he so wishes, rather than live alone simply because he doesn't want to \"offend\" me or \"replace\" me. We've been married over 30 years, and I think he would find it quite hard to be alone, especially once the kids are grown. My neighbour, now over 70, lost his wife more than 10 yrs ago to cancer. He remarried about 5 yrs ago and we are happy to see him have someone to talk to, go out with, travel with, with etc. His children have their own lives and are busy with careers etc, and although they visit etc, they don't live with him.I never thought women are so 大方
Personally, I don't think I'll remarry. Love is what brought us together and remarrying just makes a joke of the years we spend in our marriage. -
slmkhoo, that is about how I feel too…of course in heart I hope for my husband undying love…but what can we do if we ourselves couldn’t accompany them, we dont want them to be alone especially when the kids are independent…maybe unless they have very active groups of friends/activities/job to keep them fully occupied…let’s pray it wouldn’t need to happen and all of us could live into our ripe age.
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MrsKiasu:
slmkhoo, that is about how I feel too..of course in heart I hope for my husband undying love..but what can we do if we ourselves couldn't accompany them, we dont want them to be alone especially when the kids are independent..maybe unless they have very active groups of friends/activities/job to keep them fully occupied..let's pray it wouldn't need to happen and all of us could live into our ripe age.
Given our families' history, it's more likely that I will have a long widowhood. And I don't think having a second spouse means that the love for the first has \"died\". The human heart has a large capacity to love. Fidelity to a spouse during that spouse's lifetime is as much a matter of commitment as love. -
mommyNg:
when a relapse happens, the patient is put on another round of chemo. he/she finds it meaningless to suffer the side effects during the course of treatment. I guess this is why he wanted quality of life instead of suffering the treatment.
When he relapsed about 1 year later, he was put on a stronger course, and this time he went weak and lost his taste of food. After a few months, he decided to stop all therapy, stayed at home and not see a doctor at all. He wanted quality of life in whatever remaining time he had. But he deteriorated quickly (went very thin), and within 2-3 months, he’s gone.... :sad:
I really hope scientists would be able to find a cure for this dreadful C. -
Loosely speaking, cancer is cells growing out of control and form tumours. Scientists yet to find out the cause when and why cells grow out of control.
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starlight1968sg:
Loosely speaking, cancer is cells growing out of control and form tumours. Scientists yet to find out the cause when and why cells grow out of control.
wonder how cousin is...chemo started 3 days ago for his lymphoma.
there is a jab to prevent vomiting. hope he recovers fully.
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